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Late Regrets
4 years ago
Begin Transmission...
WARNING: This is just a rant about myself.
Another year coming to a close with another beginning anew.
There are days where I have regrets for me past actions, behaviors, and decisions. I always had such days as each year passed, where I would just think about why I had done and/or thought something. And each time I did think, the result would always be the same: none of it made any sense. And normally, I would just chalk it up to me being young and foolish, still learning and what not. And I would look forward with blind optimism, thinking that things will get so much better, and clinging to my wonderful dreams and fantasies of where I would like to be.
However, as each year passes, I have noticed that such days of me thinking of my regrets are becoming more and more frequent. As a result of this, the effects have become heavier. Why? Because these regrets made me realize not only all of the past opportunities I missed, opportunities that would of brought me success, happiness, excitement, and so much more, but also showed me how my brash stupidity and greed made me lose those opportunities 'for good'.
Now, this cycle has become so bad that I beat myself up almost every day, chastising myself for my foolishness, my stupidity, my illnesses, my flaws, my actions, my decisions, and everything that is "me". Why did this become so bad? Well, these regrets made my realize that those opportunities I missed were "golden" opportunities. They were golden because they aligned perfectly with my interests, and were for sure able to give me the success, happiness, and excitement, I have been yearning for. These past opportunities I missed would of given me a few careers to be active in, ones that I would of kept myself active in, no matter my age. Now, these opportunities have been closed off for me. I can't revisit them or make an attempt to grasp these opportunities again.
Unfortunately for me, I have no other interests that will bring me the same level of happiness and fulfillment as my past opportunities. I know this for certain because I made attempts to look into other interests, and... nothing shines as bright for me. I am still trying, but as time goes on with me searching, I grow more and more discouraged. Not only am I late, but I am stuck adrift. This just really sucks.
Alright, I just ran out of energy to write this. I could of written more, but I would rather stop here before my writing becomes crappier. I may or may not expand on this journal. If I do, I will more than likely post this journal again with updated writing.
Replies have been disabled.
Another year coming to a close with another beginning anew.
There are days where I have regrets for me past actions, behaviors, and decisions. I always had such days as each year passed, where I would just think about why I had done and/or thought something. And each time I did think, the result would always be the same: none of it made any sense. And normally, I would just chalk it up to me being young and foolish, still learning and what not. And I would look forward with blind optimism, thinking that things will get so much better, and clinging to my wonderful dreams and fantasies of where I would like to be.
However, as each year passes, I have noticed that such days of me thinking of my regrets are becoming more and more frequent. As a result of this, the effects have become heavier. Why? Because these regrets made me realize not only all of the past opportunities I missed, opportunities that would of brought me success, happiness, excitement, and so much more, but also showed me how my brash stupidity and greed made me lose those opportunities 'for good'.
Now, this cycle has become so bad that I beat myself up almost every day, chastising myself for my foolishness, my stupidity, my illnesses, my flaws, my actions, my decisions, and everything that is "me". Why did this become so bad? Well, these regrets made my realize that those opportunities I missed were "golden" opportunities. They were golden because they aligned perfectly with my interests, and were for sure able to give me the success, happiness, and excitement, I have been yearning for. These past opportunities I missed would of given me a few careers to be active in, ones that I would of kept myself active in, no matter my age. Now, these opportunities have been closed off for me. I can't revisit them or make an attempt to grasp these opportunities again.
Unfortunately for me, I have no other interests that will bring me the same level of happiness and fulfillment as my past opportunities. I know this for certain because I made attempts to look into other interests, and... nothing shines as bright for me. I am still trying, but as time goes on with me searching, I grow more and more discouraged. Not only am I late, but I am stuck adrift. This just really sucks.
Alright, I just ran out of energy to write this. I could of written more, but I would rather stop here before my writing becomes crappier. I may or may not expand on this journal. If I do, I will more than likely post this journal again with updated writing.
Replies have been disabled.
Comment posting has been disabled by the journal owner.
