Maybe some remember the Journal i did 10 months ago which was this one https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9907068/

I wanna write how my body was before of this tried murder and what happened afterwards up to this point:
Atfirst i wanna start at the day of the 1st December 2020. I know 2020 was a extremly shitty year for everyone, yet for myself personaly it was probably the best year i ever had, until the first december which made 2021 the year for me what 2020 was for everyone else. Why the 1st december is so memorable for me? On that day when i was in school from my schooling to be a cook around 15:10 the teacher should come but wast there yet and i really had to pee but we wernt allowed because in 45 minuts the teaching would be over. Since the teacher wasnt there yet, i took the spot and run up the stairs (since the toilets where one floor above the class room). I remember that when i was done and washed my hands, i took my cellphone out and looked at the time which was exactly 15:14 and the teacher was already there, so i rush out of the restroom and when i at the stairs, my left feet twisted. Normaly, the feet twist to the right or the left which is extremly hurtful, but my left feet twisted straight and i heard a loud crackand feeled a really strong hit and my feet and feel down around 8 stairs, face pointing towards. Bad thing is that the stairs had a wall after 12 or 14 steps which was filled with a wall and on the right side of the wall continued the stairs. If i wouldnt managed to hold on the railing of the stairs while i was falling, my face would had hit the fall and since i was running, it would be a hard hit which could had already been my death too, but i grabbed the railing of the stairs so my left foot was scratched down the last 4 stairs and i was lying on the stairs, crying for help. I could move my left feet, but it hurted so much that i was just consatndly falling down. The ambulance needed 40 minuts to reach our school because they couldnt find the entrance of the school for 10 minuts, but the entrace sure is disgusting placed so they have no fault. When i reached the hospital, i was put into a wheelshair because i couldnt walk, but i still could stand up. After 3 hours of waiting i got into the scanning room, where the nurse grabbed my foot extremly strong and wild, which ended up me constandly crying and shaking very hard (remember that part). After another 2 hours the doctor said nothing was found and wrote false information into the accident that i "tripped on the stairs up" and just kicked me out. I then had to work on the next day at my workplace with a (most likely) a "angebrochen" left feet. Please look out for yourself what "angebrochen" means because google says that it means "started" what is the wrong translation. Angebrochen means that some bone parts are broken, but not very strong so it can heal again. On the next day, i quited the schooling and a reason (but not the main reason) was because i couldnt move my left feet for an entire week and had to work for 2 days. I couldnt rest because the doctor didnt allowed it to happen, ending up me going to work like ususally. After 3 weeks i was hopping on one feet to my house doctor because i had daily strong pain and i had daily pain when i tried to go to sleep and couldnt really sleep for months later on. My house doctor looked at it very serious but when she readed hte information the doctor in the hospital wrote, she started to grin and told me "its because you remember the pain from the accident. Stop thinking about it and it goes away" which made me go in rage. After that, i never came back and called a orthopedist for a termin. They accepted but after we hung up, i got around 5 minuts later a call that they had to cancel my meeting without telling me the reason. When i looked around for another orthopedist, the same happened but this time we were still in the call. When it was already the start of february i was making another meeting with another doctor and this time it wasnt canceled. On our meeting, the doctor looked at the file once again and looked very shocked and a bit disgusted and told me in a small fear that she is not allowed to look at my left feet as long as the reason is from the accident, told me she was sorry and asked me to leave because the meeting is sadly done. She is my new house doctor now because of this i trust her a lot.

On around middle april 2021, i had daily pain on my left feet and i couldnt move it at all and standing on it was very painful after 5 minuts. At that day also happen the tried murder of my brother i talked on the journal.
The dituation was this: My brother was in the 11th class in a high school and broke his iPad which was needed for his class. Because he broke it, he was unable to do any work in school and constandly got the worst grade possible and let all his anger out of me and my mother. After 3 days, i simple asked him if he is hungry because i wanted to make noodles and he just said "maybe". I asked him if thats a yes or a no and continued to say maybe. I then ignored him and he once again constandly started to insult me and bully me because of a furry, even tho he said he stops that in 2017 when i was runnung away from home because of him once again and cried over in the arms of friends for 15 minuts. I then walked towards him insulted him back and he only said "come at me you pussy!" minuts minuts long. There was an empty cardboard box of ice tea which i threw at his feet, starting all of this what i said there. I tried to sue him which didnt worked because the police said that this is family problems and they dont sue people for family problems, even tho she almost cut my left thump out where there still is a visible scar, wanted to break my arm, almost suffocated me on the street where there been witnesses who agreed on my statement and when i was running away from him, i twisted my RIGHT feet really strong too (but not as strong as my left feet). It ended up that my house doctor made a meeting at 11 am and at this meeting she looked at my feet for 1 or 2 minuts and used a bandage with a cream and said "if the pain wont reduce until afternoon, go instandly to the hospital" because she had the throught that my right feet got "angebrochen" or totally broken and gave me a medical certificate to instandly having an operation to fix my right feet. I wanna add that my left feet was hurting as strong as my right feet even tho it was 5 months ago and the pain at that accident was a lot stornger that this one, which is why i say both feets were "angebrochen". On my way home i needed 25 minuts to reach the train station with both feets being that broken, which usually takes me around 30 seconds to 1 minut. When i was waiting on the bus, i started to shake really hard because i needed 25 minuts for 20 meters and when i leave the bustop i have to walk around 350 meters to my home door, which ususally takes me 5 minuts. I didnt had to calculate a lot to realize what horror this will be so i walked 5 minuts to the nearest taxi which where 2 taxi drivers carried me to the care because they saw my banaged right feet and that i was jumping very low to even moce myself, having a face look of being in imense pain. I asked for drive home but i only could pay 6€ which they accepted because of my current situation. The pain got better on the afternoon which is why i didnt go to the hosiptal but it got better because i lost all senses of my right feet for 5 days, which i only realised 3 days later after that meeting which was already to late.

The time afterwards was really bad. I was unable to stand and walk more than 15 minuts. After 15 minuts of JUST standing my bones hurted extremly strong on both feets, i almost couldnt sleep every day and had around all 3 days a sleepless night and this was going on until until february 2022. I constandly feeled like i was one step away from being in a wheelchair. I still was able to walk, but not longer than 15 minuts because then my bones on both feet started to hurt so much that i mut sit down for 5 minuts to continue to walk. It broke me mentaly, aswell as other things added to this like the thing with my gradn grand mother https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9965157/ and that my mother and my brother continued to harass me up to this day which i said on a at the bottom of this journal https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9907068/ where i revelaed that my entire family really dislikes furries and my mother supporting my brother for the hate that im a furry, which is why i had two suicide tries over that time, adding a total number of 3 suicide tries until now. The 3rd one would had worked because i lied down on the traintracks at the rails, my throat on one side so my death would be instandly and a bit further away so no one could see me, but the train from the Deutsche Bahn came 10 minuts to late so i stand up and was walking disapointed homeand when i reached my frontdoor, i heard the train railing over and only throught "Fuck!" to myself and was really sad.

Both my feets are normal again, even tho i feel a constand but weak pressure everywhere on my feets but i got used to it. rarly it hurts very storng for some seconds.
On a night at 2 am when i couldnt sleep once again because of the pain, i was sitting on my pc and was really angry from the situation and cried once again because of the feeling of being one step away of the wheelchair. Because of these 2 accidents, i was unable to move my left feet at all by myself and when i did it with other sources, such as moving it with my hands, it was stuck and not moveable. When i did it with a small force, i screamed in pain. The same was with my right feet, but i was able to move it a little small bit up but nothing more. On that night i was to sad and angry that i sad down on my bed, grabbed my left feet with really strong force and was moving in with full powerup, down, left and right and each time i heard a really loud crack and the pain was unbearable which is why i cried on the floor for maybe 10 minuts and bit so strong into my left arm from the pain because i couldnt scream at 3 am. The biting atop was used by it already since i always bite at the same stop at my left arm since the elemtry school to reveal stress and not having to scream. I but so hard that it started to bleed. Not much but also not only a little. After that, my left was hurted extremly much but i was able to move it like before the accident. It hurted like heaven but i could move it again. I was so incredible happy that i instandly grabbed my right feet, while my left arm was in my mouth for the preparation of the pain and i did the same again, biting into my left arm again which made the blood wound even bigger and me passing out on the floor, bleed inside my mouth and on the floor, aswell as over my arm. I when i woke up and spit out the blodd, it was something around 4 pm and i instandly tested out to move both feets. It still hurted a lot, but not as much as before i passed out and i was able to move both feets like always before. I instandly called my father in joy and he was so incredible happy that i risked to break both my feets completly for them to work again. I told him and i already was almost like in a wheel chair, which he knew and understood, which is also why he was the only one who even knew how much pain it made me and was happy that it worked and told me i made a common russian solution. I dont even want to try to explain this. Trust me, my father would had owned an own journal what kind of disgusting person he it, but he is still a good father. Disgusting and bad character, but still a good father which why i only care about him from my parents and brother. So say it very simple: Imagine a nazi. Now change the subject of "germany is the best! Hitler is the best" with russia and putin so its "russia is the best! Putin is the best!" but the same acting, such as beating up black people and gay JUST because they are black and gay. Everyone who knows my father and dislikes him agreed to this explaination but again, every family member (my mom , my dad and my brother) actually deserves a a journal of how much they are disgusting in my opinion but i wont do that.

Before someone asks, i dont work up enough money yet to move out yet so i still have to live with my mother and brother sadly but dont worry a lot about me. Im just a good smelling fox.

Also, after 2 weeks of this what i did with my feets, the pain almost was completly gone and i could walk and stand a lot longer, not as good like in the past, but a lot longer than before i did it and i was able to run again. after 3 weeks its been like how it is right now. I constandly feel a small pressure all around my feets which i got used to and rarly very strong pain for 1 or 2 seconds.



That is the story of my feets and the pre story of what happened at the mentioned journal with more details and everything towards me feets up to this point. At middle january 2021 i registed myself at a fitness studio because atifirst i believed this doctor in hospital and wanted to train out my left feet and myself too and should start at march 1st, but covid got much more affected everywhere here which is why i requested a move from march 1st 2021 to 1st May 2021 which got allowed, but then y left feet didnt recovered at all and my right feet happen almost the same. I paid 20€ for 12 months and only was able to train 3 days sadly. In the end of february i could walk again and my mother got covid, ingored the distances towards me and i got covid too, which ended up me in hospital yet she didnt took the fault by herself even tho she infected me. I got one of the bad cases sadly. I was iofficially 16 days ill with covid but i didnt tested for 3 days and i still feeled some weak symtomes after 16 days so i say i recovered after 18 days since i got tested constandly negative after 19 days until now. Yes, im twice vaccined. After i recovered on middle march, my extremly strong allergy towards brich spores started to hit me really hard. It usually starts at the end of february which is probably why covid affected me so strong and so fast (since my brother was still negative) because i already was weaken by my really strong birch allergy, which had the same sympomes like my covid illness i had, but not as strong as i had covid. The allergy usually stops between early May to middle May since birch spores always come as the first spores from trees and ends as one of the first, while every other tree starts to do the same yet im only allergic to birch spores luckily bur sadly really strong, which is the reason i cant be out for long. I already requested a repayment from the fitness studio since i paid 2 months even tho it was closed by covid, which will be used for commissions lol.

So...... since the 1st december 2020 i was technically unable to be outside for longer than half an hour, which will result that when i allergy stops, i will go camping even tho i never was camping since i was unable to leave the house till today and that will be the first time i manage to touch some grass after one and a half year.


Thank you all for reading up this this, have a great day or night, stay awesome and take care you fluffballs and scalemails <3