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Recent Absence + future of characters/art.
3 years ago
So a few folks noticed that for a fair while this account has been innactive, and actually locked down so it couldn't be accessed for the last three or so.
Things have not been good for me for a long time now, and they eventually just reached a peak and boiled over around may and lead me into a very... bad spiral.
I've dealt with mental health issues most of my life, including depression, self worth issues, multiple suicide attempts and more. I am not a happy person. I put on a happy mask for the sake of others. But in doing so I've ended up making myself worse as a result as I ended up putting all my focus in making sure other people were happy. Wether by sacrificing my time, my money or my health.
Folks who know me closest know I also live with alot of medical conditions that I sadly can't get shit done for. Pain is a constant companion for me, with no medication to numb it ((Two shattered, exposed nerve molars; I consider those 'annoying' pains... to give you an idea of what the rest are like)).
As you can imagine, those also put quite the strain on my mental state. It's.. exhausting some days just getting up and doing the shit I need to do.
No job, no social circle, limited income, constant pain and failing health. That shit will, literally, break you.
Most if not all of y'all don't give a twoddle about that or me though. So. Art!
Yhea. There's nothing new. I havent commissioned anything since before April. I have no pending commissions. I have nothing planned.
I'm selling off/have sold off a number of my characters. I won't be commissioning art of them again.
Right now, Behemoth and the Rabbit are left. Someones already made an offer on Behe, pending payment, so he's already going to a new home soon most likely.
Not sure what I'll ask for the rabbit, if anyones even interested in him. Art of him never did that well anyway.
Grumpy Wolf will be staying, though he is getting a slight re-design, but don't expect anything on that front any time soon as that's going to take time and money, the latter of which I really don't have right now.
But there will be new art of him someday, likely toward new years when my loans finally end. :x
So, yhea.
TL:DR for those who cant be assed: Had a big breakdown due to physical/mental health and life. No new art. Characters being sold. Whee!
Things have not been good for me for a long time now, and they eventually just reached a peak and boiled over around may and lead me into a very... bad spiral.
I've dealt with mental health issues most of my life, including depression, self worth issues, multiple suicide attempts and more. I am not a happy person. I put on a happy mask for the sake of others. But in doing so I've ended up making myself worse as a result as I ended up putting all my focus in making sure other people were happy. Wether by sacrificing my time, my money or my health.
Folks who know me closest know I also live with alot of medical conditions that I sadly can't get shit done for. Pain is a constant companion for me, with no medication to numb it ((Two shattered, exposed nerve molars; I consider those 'annoying' pains... to give you an idea of what the rest are like)).
As you can imagine, those also put quite the strain on my mental state. It's.. exhausting some days just getting up and doing the shit I need to do.
No job, no social circle, limited income, constant pain and failing health. That shit will, literally, break you.
Most if not all of y'all don't give a twoddle about that or me though. So. Art!
Yhea. There's nothing new. I havent commissioned anything since before April. I have no pending commissions. I have nothing planned.
I'm selling off/have sold off a number of my characters. I won't be commissioning art of them again.
Right now, Behemoth and the Rabbit are left. Someones already made an offer on Behe, pending payment, so he's already going to a new home soon most likely.
Not sure what I'll ask for the rabbit, if anyones even interested in him. Art of him never did that well anyway.
Grumpy Wolf will be staying, though he is getting a slight re-design, but don't expect anything on that front any time soon as that's going to take time and money, the latter of which I really don't have right now.
But there will be new art of him someday, likely toward new years when my loans finally end. :x
So, yhea.
TL:DR for those who cant be assed: Had a big breakdown due to physical/mental health and life. No new art. Characters being sold. Whee!
Hope things fall back into place soon.
I know our cases and situations are different but I know that there is still hope. I'm trying to surround myself with positive people, not just online, but willing to move half way around the world to be with them. I would recommend therapy, then again, nearly everyone would but reaching out to a total stranger isn't everyone's style. I have told myself to go but I could never find myself looking for one. Look for your own therapy if you have to. Talk to positive people and use them as an anchor point to promote positive emotions. Give yourself small goals to achieve. Even things as simple as cleaning your room or taking care of a chore you've put off will help give you senses of accomplishment.
As I said, I don't know you and you don't know me but NOONE should EVER have to feel the way that you did or even still do. I hope that you either get the help you need, either through friends, professionally or even strangers like me. When you find your way back to the surface, take that breath of fresh air and fight like hell to never loose it again. *hugs tight*
More seriously, th is the second time someone I knew broke down after trying to force a constant smile.
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