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Saying goodbye….
3 years ago
It’s never easy, but these last years have been REALLY difficult….
On September 12 (my Birthday is September 13th) I had to say goodbye to my sweet Pommie Boy….
I’d like to start out by saying a great thank you to those who helped me here make money for his “surgery“. We never did do the surgery on him, which I guess is a good thing, as he spiraled downhill so fast, I don’t think that expensive surgery would have done anything… however, the money I was able to make, made it so I could give him a nice send off…
In the beginning of July is when we found the lump on his bum, which was the same month last year I lost my father to a similar cancer… so I was so set on putting my poor little dog threw surgery or whatever it would take to keep him with me longer… however, as I talked to my aunt who rescues animals, she gave me a very unbiased outlook at the options…and the more I looked back at how my dads last years looked, and all the suffering he went threw with his biopsy’s and chemo… the fact those things never did anything but make him suffer for longer, and so many other similarities led me to decide I could never do that to my beloved dog….
Growing up, we always had family dogs, and once we where down to our last dog, we unfortunately held onto him for too long (when I look back, I wish we said our goodbyes sooner, than letting it end how it did… I had so many regrets from our dear Saybie baybee…) and once Sabine passed away shortly after I lost my Grandpa (they happened few months apart..) I could not stand not having a pet, especially since our last years with Sabine I was his primary caretaker, And I spent a lot of my time outside of school taking care of him. (Not cause I had to, but because I wanted to, I loved looking after animals, and my parents always told me I couldn’t have my own pet because we already had ones at home who needed extra love and care). I was just graduating and in my first real relationship when we lost our sweet big Malamute baby, so as I was finding it hard to deal with no more pets in my life, I was looking online at posts on Kijiji, and that’s when I saw my sweet baby Sylus face… he was the main picture, and he had the sweetest little black face, and white Mohawk marking… so I told my mom I was going to go adopt/buy him…and she told me to not get a female dog, as they have a different temperament, and are more expensive (all our dogs growing up where male, so it’s all mom knew, and she had good intentions) and I remember messaging the lady and asking if the pup I wanted was a male or female, and she said female… I was so devistated because I wanted the puppy with the face I fell for. And when I went to go see the puppies, to my greatest surprise, my baby was a male, and I remember so vividly her holding him out to me under his arms as he made the cutest little piggy like grunts… he was the one <3 my mom and grandma tagged along, and grandma saw Sys little sister just a trotting across the floor like she owned the place, and grandma thought she was just the sweetset, but didn’t have any money after grandpas funeral expenses, and she didn’t know if she wanted to take on another dog…. And a few days after I got Sy, Grandma absolutely adored him, and would hold him and cry… so I messaged the lady back, and that sweet little female dog was the only one left… so I went and I bought her, and a bunch of puppy supplies for Grandma… so Grandma and I had the brother and sister living next door to each other, and they would spend every day playing… as they got older and slowed down, and everything happened with my parents losing everything, I’d still bring Sy to come hang with his sister…. But this all was kinda off topic….
But I loved my baby boy, he was my first ever dog who was all my own, and I took care of everything all on my own, even though my parents where worried I’d dump him off for them to care for, I never did that, it just made me have more pride to provide without asking for help… but Sy very fast became my unofficial emotional support animal… growing up, my parents would rent game consoles and a game, and would sit together, and game on my dads days off, and one of my fondest memories as a child, was watching them play the games “Banjo Kazooie” and “Banjo Tooie” so when me and my bf broke up, my cousin burnt me a CD with the soundtrack, and I spent long hours with Sy cruising around, blasting Banjo music…. I spent all my time I wasn’t at work, with this dog… I used to Color his tail, paint his nails (dog safe products of course) and I just would baby, and spoil him rotten… I always laughed at the memes about Millenials having no children, and spoiling their pets, because I relate to that so hard… Destro always jokes about how spoilt that dog was when we first met each other… I knew Destro was the one because Sy would look at me all happy like he was saying “this is the one!”
But back to more recent events… July I found his lump, August we decided against surgery, and where dedicated to just spoiling him rotten until his time came, and on august 12th, Atlus (our other younger Pomeranian) ran away. And Sy was acting weird, I let him out to pee, and he just sat there, and refused to walk… so I picked him up, and brought him inside. This was the first time since we found his lump that he started acting funny… and it’s like, since that day, his health started spiraling at a rapid rate… he started acting very lethargic, and would shake for no reason, and just wasn’t acting like himself. I was super sick when Atlus ran away, I was outside earlier that night, I fainted on the sidewalk… but I kept saying to myself, maybe he’s acting lethargic because I was sick… but he stopped eating, so I was researching what could be the issue…by August 25th… I got him pain meds…. And from there he lost his ability to walk, the vet said it wasn’t a side effect from the meds, so she told me to give him the highest dose I could for him (she knew my plan was to just keep him as comfortable as possible)
Destro came home and he was still walking… September 6th, Destro left for work, and I woke up to let Sy out, and he could not stand on his hind legs at all, and I was a emotional mess, I was out on my front lawn bawling my eyes out as I watched him drag his hind legs… from there… Destro and I decided to look into starting to make a game plan for when he came home to say our goodbyes…
Since you guys are so amazing , and quite a few of you helped me be able to afford what I ended up doing next….
I was able to afford to get a in house vet to come to us, and to get him cremated… the vet wouldn’t be able to come till day day before Destro had to go back out of town for work… and he was starting to not be able to pull himself away as he would pee or poop, so I was bathing him 5-8 times a day… his time was coming at a rapid rate… I wanted to wait till Destro was home, but I also couldn’t stand seeing Sy suffer, and with each bath he was starting to get sores all over his underside… so we ended up saying goodbye to him the day before my birthday… but I was so thankful and beyond myself that I was able to afford to give him a very peaceful send off… I spent all my time with him, I borrowed a stroller from my auntie so I could take him for long walks, and bring him everywhere with me, I made him special meals on that weekend leading up to it… as much as I loved it, it was hard… because I loved spoiling him, I loved toting him around in that stroller watching him lift his little nose to the air… I had a meltdown at the store because i didn’t know what human food he liked because I always was so strict on his diet, I never gave him scraps or human food, because I always wanted him to live as long as possible, I had hopes of him living to be 23 like our one little peekiguneese. However god had other plans for him. I’m just thankful I was able to afford to give him all the yummy food he missed out in life, to let him pass in a peaceful manner, instead of being scared going into the vets office…and I got to say my goodbyes and be there for him the whole way, unlike Sabine…I got to spoil him, and get my own closure with him, and my last baby we lost, who I had so many regrets with…
Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I’m not leaving FA, however i will be taking a little break before finishing my YCH that was made to raise his surgery, and to finish up the remained of my queue.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49108863/
On September 12 (my Birthday is September 13th) I had to say goodbye to my sweet Pommie Boy….
I’d like to start out by saying a great thank you to those who helped me here make money for his “surgery“. We never did do the surgery on him, which I guess is a good thing, as he spiraled downhill so fast, I don’t think that expensive surgery would have done anything… however, the money I was able to make, made it so I could give him a nice send off…
In the beginning of July is when we found the lump on his bum, which was the same month last year I lost my father to a similar cancer… so I was so set on putting my poor little dog threw surgery or whatever it would take to keep him with me longer… however, as I talked to my aunt who rescues animals, she gave me a very unbiased outlook at the options…and the more I looked back at how my dads last years looked, and all the suffering he went threw with his biopsy’s and chemo… the fact those things never did anything but make him suffer for longer, and so many other similarities led me to decide I could never do that to my beloved dog….
Growing up, we always had family dogs, and once we where down to our last dog, we unfortunately held onto him for too long (when I look back, I wish we said our goodbyes sooner, than letting it end how it did… I had so many regrets from our dear Saybie baybee…) and once Sabine passed away shortly after I lost my Grandpa (they happened few months apart..) I could not stand not having a pet, especially since our last years with Sabine I was his primary caretaker, And I spent a lot of my time outside of school taking care of him. (Not cause I had to, but because I wanted to, I loved looking after animals, and my parents always told me I couldn’t have my own pet because we already had ones at home who needed extra love and care). I was just graduating and in my first real relationship when we lost our sweet big Malamute baby, so as I was finding it hard to deal with no more pets in my life, I was looking online at posts on Kijiji, and that’s when I saw my sweet baby Sylus face… he was the main picture, and he had the sweetest little black face, and white Mohawk marking… so I told my mom I was going to go adopt/buy him…and she told me to not get a female dog, as they have a different temperament, and are more expensive (all our dogs growing up where male, so it’s all mom knew, and she had good intentions) and I remember messaging the lady and asking if the pup I wanted was a male or female, and she said female… I was so devistated because I wanted the puppy with the face I fell for. And when I went to go see the puppies, to my greatest surprise, my baby was a male, and I remember so vividly her holding him out to me under his arms as he made the cutest little piggy like grunts… he was the one <3 my mom and grandma tagged along, and grandma saw Sys little sister just a trotting across the floor like she owned the place, and grandma thought she was just the sweetset, but didn’t have any money after grandpas funeral expenses, and she didn’t know if she wanted to take on another dog…. And a few days after I got Sy, Grandma absolutely adored him, and would hold him and cry… so I messaged the lady back, and that sweet little female dog was the only one left… so I went and I bought her, and a bunch of puppy supplies for Grandma… so Grandma and I had the brother and sister living next door to each other, and they would spend every day playing… as they got older and slowed down, and everything happened with my parents losing everything, I’d still bring Sy to come hang with his sister…. But this all was kinda off topic….
But I loved my baby boy, he was my first ever dog who was all my own, and I took care of everything all on my own, even though my parents where worried I’d dump him off for them to care for, I never did that, it just made me have more pride to provide without asking for help… but Sy very fast became my unofficial emotional support animal… growing up, my parents would rent game consoles and a game, and would sit together, and game on my dads days off, and one of my fondest memories as a child, was watching them play the games “Banjo Kazooie” and “Banjo Tooie” so when me and my bf broke up, my cousin burnt me a CD with the soundtrack, and I spent long hours with Sy cruising around, blasting Banjo music…. I spent all my time I wasn’t at work, with this dog… I used to Color his tail, paint his nails (dog safe products of course) and I just would baby, and spoil him rotten… I always laughed at the memes about Millenials having no children, and spoiling their pets, because I relate to that so hard… Destro always jokes about how spoilt that dog was when we first met each other… I knew Destro was the one because Sy would look at me all happy like he was saying “this is the one!”
But back to more recent events… July I found his lump, August we decided against surgery, and where dedicated to just spoiling him rotten until his time came, and on august 12th, Atlus (our other younger Pomeranian) ran away. And Sy was acting weird, I let him out to pee, and he just sat there, and refused to walk… so I picked him up, and brought him inside. This was the first time since we found his lump that he started acting funny… and it’s like, since that day, his health started spiraling at a rapid rate… he started acting very lethargic, and would shake for no reason, and just wasn’t acting like himself. I was super sick when Atlus ran away, I was outside earlier that night, I fainted on the sidewalk… but I kept saying to myself, maybe he’s acting lethargic because I was sick… but he stopped eating, so I was researching what could be the issue…by August 25th… I got him pain meds…. And from there he lost his ability to walk, the vet said it wasn’t a side effect from the meds, so she told me to give him the highest dose I could for him (she knew my plan was to just keep him as comfortable as possible)
Destro came home and he was still walking… September 6th, Destro left for work, and I woke up to let Sy out, and he could not stand on his hind legs at all, and I was a emotional mess, I was out on my front lawn bawling my eyes out as I watched him drag his hind legs… from there… Destro and I decided to look into starting to make a game plan for when he came home to say our goodbyes…
Since you guys are so amazing , and quite a few of you helped me be able to afford what I ended up doing next….
I was able to afford to get a in house vet to come to us, and to get him cremated… the vet wouldn’t be able to come till day day before Destro had to go back out of town for work… and he was starting to not be able to pull himself away as he would pee or poop, so I was bathing him 5-8 times a day… his time was coming at a rapid rate… I wanted to wait till Destro was home, but I also couldn’t stand seeing Sy suffer, and with each bath he was starting to get sores all over his underside… so we ended up saying goodbye to him the day before my birthday… but I was so thankful and beyond myself that I was able to afford to give him a very peaceful send off… I spent all my time with him, I borrowed a stroller from my auntie so I could take him for long walks, and bring him everywhere with me, I made him special meals on that weekend leading up to it… as much as I loved it, it was hard… because I loved spoiling him, I loved toting him around in that stroller watching him lift his little nose to the air… I had a meltdown at the store because i didn’t know what human food he liked because I always was so strict on his diet, I never gave him scraps or human food, because I always wanted him to live as long as possible, I had hopes of him living to be 23 like our one little peekiguneese. However god had other plans for him. I’m just thankful I was able to afford to give him all the yummy food he missed out in life, to let him pass in a peaceful manner, instead of being scared going into the vets office…and I got to say my goodbyes and be there for him the whole way, unlike Sabine…I got to spoil him, and get my own closure with him, and my last baby we lost, who I had so many regrets with…
Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I’m not leaving FA, however i will be taking a little break before finishing my YCH that was made to raise his surgery, and to finish up the remained of my queue.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49108863/
Take as much time as you need.