Current situation, crisis and help request
3 years ago
Hello there, guys,
I really want to share some of my problems and fears, but it is not really a complaint. I mean I fully understand that I'm in a tight corner, but I'm not depressed or feeling super miserable, nah. Just feeling sad, a bit unmotivated and uncomfortable. I do not try to say that I face bigger problems than other or that I suffer, please do not take it like this.
Current situation
Dealing with current problems is hard. I have lots of family issues right now. One of my Grandmothers suffers from severe dementia. She literally has reached the moment when she starts putting banknotes instead of tea bags in her cup, talking on a remote instead of a mobile phone etc. She is very hard to talk to, she cannot cook, clean the flat or even take medicines herself, so my family and I have to help her every day and that takes lots of nerves and patience. My Dad has none already because he has been dealing with Grandmother's illness for 3 years already and it's getting worse and worse.
My second Grandma is coming over her husband's death right now. My mother and I have already accepted the fact Grandfather is dead, but Grandma still has problems with that. I have to visit her quite often and that's rather hard as well.
My best friend suffers from severe anxiety disorder. It became hard, even unbearable to deal with her hysterics and quarrels with our mates. She has had a big scandal with them recently, and I was absolutely disappointed and broken. It feels like I have no more mental recourses to deal with her and my mates anymore since they do not listen to each other. They tried their best to comfort me when they learnt I got very upset because of the quarrel, but I stull feel very empty and tired as if I was the reason of this conflict.
Crisis
I'm not sure if the problem is in my art, payment issues or world crisis, but I do not gain my living anymore. I remember having at least $1000 per month that was more than enough for me to deal with anything (I support my family right now), but now I do not have even $500. It is about $300-400 per month and it is very hard to offer smth new to the auditory. I try my best, but do not succeed. I felt like I'm close to a burnout, to an art-block, but I'm really not, just not very motivated. One of the biggest reason is a big amount of frauds right now. There were 5-6 people this season claiming YCHs/adopts/commissions who never answered me being active on FA. That really makes me sick.
The only thing I want to know if the reason of my current freelance decline is my art, payment inconveniences or just the world crisis.
If you have a minute, please share what you think of it.
Has my art become worse? Would you commission me if I have any other paying option except for Boosty? What new should I try to be popular and demanded? Is the reason for not taking commission is in the current situation connected to crisis?
Help request
Since I have to deal with inactivity here, I'm looking for help. Any help will do, especially promotions. I do not press or beg you, just saying I'm ready to work for you and your friends.
But there is smth else I'm looking for. I really need a person who can help me with making an advertisement banner and paying for it on FA. I do not have access to PayPal right now so I cannot even pay for the ad here. I cannot make the banner as well, so I'm looking for someone who will help me with that.
I can only offer you art/adopts for this service. I wish I could offer you money, but I simply cannot pay anyone right now due to PayPal/card blocks.
I'm tired, sad and even scared a little, but everything is going to be alright. I'm looking for a job now, training in powerlifting even though I gave up my personal trainer (both because I don't have money and him being a real abuser and just a piece of shit). I still have good results, I lift 110kg/245Ib being a small guy (I weight 51kg/112Ib) which is almost MoS (master of sports) for me.
I have family, I have friends, I have all possibilities to create.
I pray for peace and that's it.
Keep safe, guys, I love you!
I would like to gently suggest you try to not blame yourself. I know I personally can't spend as much money on art as I used to, and it is the same for many. This does not mean your art is bad or that you did anything wrong. Sometimes, people don't have much money despite working very hard. I wish I could hire and donate to every artist who I read about that needs help, but sadly it is impossible for most of us to do this.
I wonder if your worries about your friends and family is also making you stress about your art as well. My grandfather also cannot think correctly. And I personally have been the hysterical friend due to my own issues. But please try to know, none of that is your fault. And it is okay to be upset and scared.
I hope you can feel better. I am sorry I can't send you money and work this month as well, but I hope my words helped in a small way.
I really feel MUCH better and calmer (that's actually the most needed thing) after reading this. I feel fine, I cannot say I'm feeling very bad, but know I have less worries and questions in my head which are hard to deal with. Of course we're going through a hard period of time, it demands lots of patience. Fortunately, I have much patience as well as mental recourses and ways to calm myself, so I know it will be much better sooner or later.
Thank you so much one more time, I super appreciate your comment! <3
(As for the banner - yup, I'd give some of my arts, but there is no rush with that, I still need to accumulate some moral recourses for such a step!))
Yes the current world situation and payment work-arounds make a difference - but I've used the alternative payment method once last month and it honestly was just as smooth as paypal. So I hope me saying that will make anyone on the fence less suspicious at least :)
I can't really say much else, if you want someone to set up a banner I can do that as I used to have one myself, it's not that expencive either so no need for anything in return. (assuming you will make the art for it. I'll just put it together and make it properly sized and do the right things)
And yeah, we're also dealing with crisis in our country. It definitely hits everyone. I do not blame or press anyone though, just wanted to make sure I understand the situation right.
As for Boosty, it seems like so people have problems with it, but that really depends.))
Want the banner very much, but need some time to think about it a lil more - that seems a bit stressful for me to have an ad here. But I super appreciate your offer! Also it is not hard for me to make a return art, so I'm always ready to pay back at least like this!
Even when I had, I only got a slight increase in customers. But we are going into halloween/spooky month now, and then the christmas gift "rush" starts - so hopefully you will have plenty of customers even without it for now