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Laying down my Pen
3 years ago
I never wanted to write this journal, but here we are.
In case I haven't already laid everything out there, I'm had a few demons around porn, to put things a bit into perspective I've been grappling with these specific demons since I was 16, I'm 30 years old. I've fought, and lost to my desires every single day, the notes back 4, 8 months ago were where I thought I had them under control, and fell the next day. So, to put it simply, I haven't been writing for months, specifically becuase of my own failure and inability to control myself. It is simple fact and I have to accept that.
The reason I'm writing this journal is that things hit a head a little more than a week ago. I reached a line where, in my own eyes I'd fall to my desire, and there would be no way back. I jumped over that line with such enthusiasm and gusto, looking back, it disgusted me. I managed to pull myself back, but after a lilttle test a weeek ago, I can't keep doing this.
I say I'm laying down my pen, but only in terms of pornographic content, I will also be mostly stepping away from the net until I can get this, get myself under control. Though even when, if I return, anything I write would be safe for work.
I do want to say that I have no judgement for anyone else, people enjoy what they enjoy, this journal is a comment on my own personal failings and inadequacies. To everyone who has enjoyed my content, thank you. To everyone this is going to disappoint or whose expectations I've failed to meet, you have my apologies.
Thank you for your time and have a good day.
In case I haven't already laid everything out there, I'm had a few demons around porn, to put things a bit into perspective I've been grappling with these specific demons since I was 16, I'm 30 years old. I've fought, and lost to my desires every single day, the notes back 4, 8 months ago were where I thought I had them under control, and fell the next day. So, to put it simply, I haven't been writing for months, specifically becuase of my own failure and inability to control myself. It is simple fact and I have to accept that.
The reason I'm writing this journal is that things hit a head a little more than a week ago. I reached a line where, in my own eyes I'd fall to my desire, and there would be no way back. I jumped over that line with such enthusiasm and gusto, looking back, it disgusted me. I managed to pull myself back, but after a lilttle test a weeek ago, I can't keep doing this.
I say I'm laying down my pen, but only in terms of pornographic content, I will also be mostly stepping away from the net until I can get this, get myself under control. Though even when, if I return, anything I write would be safe for work.
I do want to say that I have no judgement for anyone else, people enjoy what they enjoy, this journal is a comment on my own personal failings and inadequacies. To everyone who has enjoyed my content, thank you. To everyone this is going to disappoint or whose expectations I've failed to meet, you have my apologies.
Thank you for your time and have a good day.
I sincerely wish you luck. And truth be told, I am supportive of whatever creative decision you have to make. whether its for personal reasons, or not. you've made great, great stories that I'm pretty sure all of us love. And I hope this new direction for you helps give you some sort of resolution you are hoping for.
We will be here for when you do return. Please take care of yourself!