I sympathize with you. There isn't really much else that can be said which you haven't spoken already. But I hear you. I know that emptiness, that longing. And it's not limited to just a group of a friends.

We don't know one another. And I know I'm not able to physically pay a visit should something grow, given I'm a hermit. But if you need an ear and no one else is around, I can listen.

All said though, yea. It's a lot of pain. And the wound never fully closes. Especially when you're the last one holding the torch.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine the pain this is causing you. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

Unfortunately, this is what social media and internet culture have created.

Names on screens.

Less personal connections, and it becomes easier to drift apart or outright ghost people that were once considered friends.

Especially with the overuse of the word "friend" online to mean nothing more than "personal acquaintance". It really devalues what friendships are.

I've been in the fandom since the late 1990s and things were pretty cool right up till the mass popularization of social media like facebook and twitter and the likes around 2005 or so, and it was like a switch was flipped off as people who all once hung out together and such just started vanishing en masse.

Then the 'rona came along and managed to make things even worse. People not only got burned out on internet use but were already burned out on social media use and unable to re-kindle in-person friendships.

I refuse to use the likes of facebook or twitter because of how, not only toxic they are, but how easily it makes people anti-social, and that creates this stigma that I'm suddenly the strange one for not using social media.

One of the great things about a friend I can hang out with in person is the dynamic that happens even when bored or running out of things to say we can still play in-person games or watch movies or chat about nothing in particular, things just seem to work better, socially, when in person. Whereas on a screen it is just empty space with nothing happening when we run out of "interesting" things to say, furthering that disconnect.

When it comes down to it, friendships come and go, but those in-person friendships should be cherished because you never know when the next time you see them is going to be at their funeral.

Something my grandfather told me that has really stuck is, "Let your friends know you care about them and what they mean to you while they are still around, don't save it for their eulogy."

I'd add to that, "If they move on, or move away, or otherwise fall out of touch, then cherish the good times you had with them for the time they were around."

It's strange. My experience was the opposite. Most of my rl friend circle of local peole drifted apart when the folks started to have kids and I didn't. We didn't meet up anymore on weekends and social media contact slowly ceased too. It was like we had nothing to say to each other anymore. The people I met online, however, have stayed active and present meeting up with each other whenever there is a chance cause of distance.

Sounds like you're using the 'net the right way, to me.

Ya, friends who married no longer had me as a "friend of the family".
Once my grandmother died, I had no link to her side of the family.
No more invitations to dinner or Passover or anything.

I've done my best to keep in contact with everyone I can during the pandemic,
inspired by the grandma of "Summer Wars" whose phone calls kept everyone calm and focused.

Been living on my own for a while now and I feel so disconnected from the greater community at times. I know they're out there.. but it's just like there's nothing really keeping things attached as it were. I can only hope that things improve for everyone.

The past couple years of social distancing kind of cut everybody off from everybody. Now that things are starting to get relatively back to normal-ish, it's a bit like climbing out of the storm cellar to see what's left after the tornado went over.

Life has a terrible way of doing that to you. I'm so sorry - what a real shock.

Ah, hell. *Nods*

That's the fate of all of us, to either die early or watch as all the people we care about go before us. You're not alone, though. We may be only names on a screen to one another, and most likely separated by distance that assures we'll never meet in person (or are you perchance near Detroit?), but we can still be there for one another in spirit.

I'm in Delaware.

Noice (^^>

It's bland but tolerable.

*Is unsure what to say, so he can only give you a supportive hug*

My dad feels the exact same way and I don't know how to comfort him about it. All he has left is is best friend. It's def not a good feeling to have and I hope you feel better. Take as much time as you need to proccess. :c

I remember when my great uncle died and my father noted that he was now the oldest man in our family. The patriarch. I imagine he felt much the same way you do now.

You're not the only one to suddenly find out about Rossen's death. This is the first time me and my brother  mistypine01 have heard that he had died in 2021.

Sorry to have to be the one to drop that on you guys.

No problem. Just wasn't expecting him to die before me, as I think he was a few years younger than me. (I'm present;y 61).

Heavy shit. :/

I hope you'll forgive me for mentioning, since saying it out loud is mostly for myself, but I've been failing to contact a close friend for half a year and I'm struggling with the likely fact I'll have to visit his house in person soon and find out what happened. :/

Sympathies Cobalt.

Got all my condolences. This one hurts as jace probably got me hooked on furry art

And here I am, just finding out about RosenOtter from you. And ever since I had to give up conventions (well before covid, alas), keeping up old friendships gets harder. I try to be philosophical about these things, try to be grateful that I knew people at all, and benefited from their kindness. But it still makes me feel sad and old.

In case I haven't said it lately, teddyman, I still consider you a friend, and I thank you for your presence and influence in my life. As tenuous as it can be sometimes, it's still worthwhile. Any connection we can make in our lives is. *hug*

Thanks, man. That trip that Andy and I made up to your place that one time is one of my favorite memories of our various adventures. Kind of wish you lived closer to Delaware so I could do it again, but a long road trip's no fun alone.

I'd have told you about his death if I'd known you cared. Yeah, we're at the age where the pals & family of our youth is passing away. I'd advise you to make new friends, but I suck at that, so it's more of a "do as I say, not as I do". Life is so god damn short.

*Hugs* You must be feeling a lot like Colonel Potter in the one episode of M*A*S*H* when he found out he was the last man left from his old WWI unit, and had won the bottle of French wine they'd stashed away. I wish, like they did, I could share a drink with you, and toast them all.

I have still got one local friend left, tho we've mostly talked online rather than in person owing to the past couple years of everything. I'm trying to make plans with him to go to a furry con next august. We'll have to see how that goes.

Sorry for not thinking to mention Rosenotter's passing.
He and I were so distantly acquainted in the first place that I figured I was already close to being the last guy to find out.

Silverfox (Fox Stirling) and I are still here across from Philly after all this time. ^^
Just kinda living quietly for the most part all this while since neither of us travel so much anymore.

Definitely know what you mean as far as the lack of connection lately though and it only got more intense with covid and political polarization the last few years. I've just been trying to make deeper connections with the people I've already known online over the years.

Kinda why I finally justified jumping deeper into VR last year, at least feels like 'something' to help replace all the meets and conventions I'm no longer really going to. (harder to enjoy a con if travelling there and being there is riddled with stomach issues and an almost certain case of con crud/covid)

I know the feeling. Not sure who will break the news if I died. I ain't young anymore and a slew of health problems plague me. Everyone I knew is either gone or just not talking to me anymore. Everyone i knew from the 80's & 90's are just gone.

Heh.. Nexxus poked his head into that furnation tribute discord group a while back. Seems like he didn't have much to say to me. I looked at his twitter and it's wall to wall right-wing propaganda and conspiracy crap. I guess he just doesn't have a use for someone like me anymore.

yeah. I lost allot of contact with him after a large disagreement over politics . It hurt really bad . I think it hurt the most due to the fact he helped allot in the past like a older brother or a father I never had, anyway i do miss the old days of hanging out with everyone. the radio shows we all listened to the tv shows too. If you passed I would be sad but I would do my hardest to make sure people remembered who you were.

Take it as a turning point, a sign giving you a chance to change that and maybe become closer to those who are left as well as find new friends who can be more than just interactions on a screen.

Social media has become a bit of a double edged sword. I know for me personally it has allowed me to know so many more people than I could have ever hoped to know before and in a wider spread net of locations, it’s also let me both reconnect with and know more about people I’ve met over the years but drifted apart from, but it’s also been a bit of a crutch. It makes you feel not alone even as you never see or do things with people in person, at best it’s like once a year at a con or more likely interacting with online and maybe with a few multiplayer games or phone conversations in between. Prior to social media would we have been content to not see people in person? I don’t even remember anymore. And the lockdown of past few years have really given focus to the lack of real socializing I’ve done in that period and since.

I’ve also had quite a few friends who have either passed away or drifted away, I agree it’s not a good feeling. Wishing you luck in like as said: reconnecting with those friends you have left and finding new connections to run with.

My deepest and sincerest condolences on the losses. It's incredibly easy to lose track of people in general, let alone those who aren't in your immediate vicinity, even close family can fall prey to that. I've had a similar disconnect with people for many years, the names on the screen and have tried to bridge that divide when possible. Regular voice calls, video calls, opening myself up to engage that way with my close friends has helped in ways.

I know there's no real helping here, but I'm sorry to hear it.

As someone is now 43 , and it's been in the fandom since 1997-98, I know the feeling. That I have more or less known since my beginning of the fandom that are now dead. Feels really weird. People I've known and met personally, like Marko the rat, have died.