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changes, changes, changing changes.
2 years ago
if you follow me anywhere else, you'll know in late 2021 i rediscovered my very first "nerd" hobby: cosplay. coming back to it as an adult, free of that childish drama and pressure to attend every single con on the go, just being an adult playing dress-up as a form of escapism is lovely. it's truly wonderful, and an enjoyment i've never had from it before. what i get out of it now is what i tried to get out of it as a teenager and instead burnt myself out. with it has come rediscovering anime and finding a huge love in new shows that are just fun to watch, and making friends through those, and while i've never been a video game person i've picked up watching playthroughs of a few things. it's nice- like a mug of hot chocolate under a blanket on a snow day.
however, focusing on that, i've also realised my interest in furry has just never returned. it kind of vanished during the pandemic, and two cons and a meet later it just... doesn't really exist any more. truthfully i've never been fond of meets or online spaces in the first place but cons used to feel like returning home. now, outside of seeing friends, i just don't have the patience and feel like i've shown up to somebody else's party as a plus one. it doesn't feel my scene or vibe, and i feel like i stand out in ways i don't like compared to how easy it feels in my cosplay communities now. nothing caused it; it just seems to be where my brain has drifted to. i think the realisation hit when eurofurence announced it was moving to hamburg and i realised i had no drive to go if it wasn't an excuse for a holiday to berlin.
there's more to life than one hobby, one interest or a fandom. there's lots of things i'm into that i don't share because i don't have spaces for them. so it's not a case of equivalent exchange- but they both require money and time, things which i have to be careful how i spend since i don't have loads of. when picking how to spend my fun-time funds, i've realised that for the past little while i've picked cosplay (+ what comes along with it) over furry, and i'm very happy with that. the excitement i used to get for furry cons is now the excitement i feel organising cosplay and getting to go to anime cons. when i'm daydreaming away and thinking up potential things to do it's tattoos, cosplay, trips to parts of the world i haven't seen, things like that. cons of all varieties have been a staple of my life for almost two decades now, but re-evaluating things has left me thinking about how i'd like to do cheaper cons with cosplay and be able to do other things than sink everything into them.
please don't think this is some silly "leaving the fandom" journal- especially since i'll still be here. this just isn't much of a hobby or interest for me right now, and no amount of forcing it changes that. as with everything, maybe months or years down the line it'll shift round again and i'll once more be obsessed with doodling myself as a rabbit. who knows, right?
however, focusing on that, i've also realised my interest in furry has just never returned. it kind of vanished during the pandemic, and two cons and a meet later it just... doesn't really exist any more. truthfully i've never been fond of meets or online spaces in the first place but cons used to feel like returning home. now, outside of seeing friends, i just don't have the patience and feel like i've shown up to somebody else's party as a plus one. it doesn't feel my scene or vibe, and i feel like i stand out in ways i don't like compared to how easy it feels in my cosplay communities now. nothing caused it; it just seems to be where my brain has drifted to. i think the realisation hit when eurofurence announced it was moving to hamburg and i realised i had no drive to go if it wasn't an excuse for a holiday to berlin.
there's more to life than one hobby, one interest or a fandom. there's lots of things i'm into that i don't share because i don't have spaces for them. so it's not a case of equivalent exchange- but they both require money and time, things which i have to be careful how i spend since i don't have loads of. when picking how to spend my fun-time funds, i've realised that for the past little while i've picked cosplay (+ what comes along with it) over furry, and i'm very happy with that. the excitement i used to get for furry cons is now the excitement i feel organising cosplay and getting to go to anime cons. when i'm daydreaming away and thinking up potential things to do it's tattoos, cosplay, trips to parts of the world i haven't seen, things like that. cons of all varieties have been a staple of my life for almost two decades now, but re-evaluating things has left me thinking about how i'd like to do cheaper cons with cosplay and be able to do other things than sink everything into them.
please don't think this is some silly "leaving the fandom" journal- especially since i'll still be here. this just isn't much of a hobby or interest for me right now, and no amount of forcing it changes that. as with everything, maybe months or years down the line it'll shift round again and i'll once more be obsessed with doodling myself as a rabbit. who knows, right?
