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Another update
2 years ago
Well, It has been 4 months since the last one. Not like anyone reads these. I honestly do not know why I do it. Perhaps its is a way for me to put out there in the hopes somebody somewhere will hear me, see me? Perhaps I do it as a way of venting and accepting things? I don't really know, maybe my therapist can help me figure it out?
Anyway, I am continuing on. Finding a job that actually pays a living wage has been... difficult. I apply and apply but so far nothing has come up. I am starting to Lose hope. I got to spend time with a Special somebody over the weekend. While not perfect by any stretch, I enjoyed my brief time there. Tho, I am very tempted to Fly next time. Driving 9-10 hours puts a lot of stress on my and my car, plus it means I have to take extra time off just for driving which aint great. I don't mind driving long distances honestly, I enjoy it. I get to see new things. However, Flying would be better cause I can leave my car at the airport, be there in a couple hours, and then I have so much more time to spend with my special friend.
In other news, I finally found a place to live that isnt going to cost me an arm and a leg, that isn't shit, plus, the roommates I am already kinda friends with anyway so it means I am not stuck living somewhere with strangers. Over all It is a win win I think. Till I get a WFH job or one that pays better, I will unfortunately have to stick with this shitty Factory Job. Honestly I kinda want away from there cause its nasty af and I am so sick of the stupid management. Going to vent a bit about that rn. When I first started there, I did not have to put up with so much BS. Well... It was still BS but not like this. Al cause other people and other shifts were doing things they were not meant to be doing, over time more and more checks and steps have been added to the process, really slowing things down. Like, I remember when all anyone had to do was look at the piece of paper, make/find what was on it, do the job, and pass it along the chain. Now, we have to scan and get two signed signatures on everything. The worst part is, Half of the shit is stuff that another department should be doing. another 1/4th of the things are redundant and were only put in place, again cause people were not doing their jobs. However, cause the company loves to do blanket policies instead of just handling the individuals that are fucking up... I now spend at least an hour doing this stupid BS. Then I get bitched at cause I am not meeting "production". Gosh, I wonder why?! I am getting so sick of having to constantly explain WHY my numbers are always low. For one, I am having to do 3 other people's jobs for them, Im having to waste time with these "Quality" check lists. Then there is the fact that Every fucking Night I am left with a mess from the previous shift, and the work I have to do is always the left over BS where I cant even meet production on anyway all the while !st and 2nd shift hide away all the good stuff. Like, how am I meant to get anything done when I have to spend half my time doing shit that shouldn't even be part of my job, and dealing with work orders where I am getting maybe 3-9 pieces off of per sheet?! Another thing I am constantly frustrated by is that they keep listening to some asshole in an office about thing instead of talking with the actual workers. The don't talk with the people who have to do this day in and day out. They love spending money on useless crap but refuse to use that money on actually fixing or replacing the Machines that MAKE THE PRODUCTS, or you know, invest in the Employees... no, they spend 10k on pointless stands for our cleaning supplies. Stands that take up more space and aren't even build well. They wanna spend 30k on a little 10x10 space when they could have honestly just remodeled and used another area that again, was unnecessary and never gets used anyway. Like, there is an office space that NEVER gets used. I can go on and on but I think my point has been made.
Another thing, Thanks to the Small friend group I have found myself in IRL, I finally feel like I am not wasting away. I have people who I get to hang out with on the weekends, people who actually invite me over to spend time with. Its wild... It's been months but, I am still blown away by the kindness and genuine friendship. Thanks to one of them, I am finally getting to wear my swim suit dress and go swimming for the first time in over a decade. I miss the Water so much, like, when I was invited to have a pool day and cook out, I almost cried. I am going to be really sad when I have to leave these amazing people behind when I end up moving to another state/country in a couple years. Nothing good ever lasts it seems. Still, I am going to try and cherish and enjoy the time I do have with these amazing nerds >^.^<
Transition is going still. I still have some laser sessions for a couple areas that need to be done, but I am seeing the Light at the end of the tunnel. I got maybe two more for my face and 3-4 more for my nether area. Outside of that... been having serious body dysphoria with my breasts. Like... I been Transitioning for like 4-5 years now and I barely have enough booba to be noticeable. I don't want huge honkers but like... if I could go up a couple Cups at least? Big enough that they extend out at or past my belly. I have been on Progesterone for like 4 years. I have tried massaging them, gaining weight. For the last one all that got me was a bigger belly and slightly wider hips. What is a girl meant to do? Guess another thing I might have to save up for is Breast Augmentation. Maybe they can take some of this fat that is growing on my belly and put it in my tits? I have a Check in with the PC soon so I will ask her if there is anything.
I think that is it for now... Peas and Carrots y'all.
Anyway, I am continuing on. Finding a job that actually pays a living wage has been... difficult. I apply and apply but so far nothing has come up. I am starting to Lose hope. I got to spend time with a Special somebody over the weekend. While not perfect by any stretch, I enjoyed my brief time there. Tho, I am very tempted to Fly next time. Driving 9-10 hours puts a lot of stress on my and my car, plus it means I have to take extra time off just for driving which aint great. I don't mind driving long distances honestly, I enjoy it. I get to see new things. However, Flying would be better cause I can leave my car at the airport, be there in a couple hours, and then I have so much more time to spend with my special friend.
In other news, I finally found a place to live that isnt going to cost me an arm and a leg, that isn't shit, plus, the roommates I am already kinda friends with anyway so it means I am not stuck living somewhere with strangers. Over all It is a win win I think. Till I get a WFH job or one that pays better, I will unfortunately have to stick with this shitty Factory Job. Honestly I kinda want away from there cause its nasty af and I am so sick of the stupid management. Going to vent a bit about that rn. When I first started there, I did not have to put up with so much BS. Well... It was still BS but not like this. Al cause other people and other shifts were doing things they were not meant to be doing, over time more and more checks and steps have been added to the process, really slowing things down. Like, I remember when all anyone had to do was look at the piece of paper, make/find what was on it, do the job, and pass it along the chain. Now, we have to scan and get two signed signatures on everything. The worst part is, Half of the shit is stuff that another department should be doing. another 1/4th of the things are redundant and were only put in place, again cause people were not doing their jobs. However, cause the company loves to do blanket policies instead of just handling the individuals that are fucking up... I now spend at least an hour doing this stupid BS. Then I get bitched at cause I am not meeting "production". Gosh, I wonder why?! I am getting so sick of having to constantly explain WHY my numbers are always low. For one, I am having to do 3 other people's jobs for them, Im having to waste time with these "Quality" check lists. Then there is the fact that Every fucking Night I am left with a mess from the previous shift, and the work I have to do is always the left over BS where I cant even meet production on anyway all the while !st and 2nd shift hide away all the good stuff. Like, how am I meant to get anything done when I have to spend half my time doing shit that shouldn't even be part of my job, and dealing with work orders where I am getting maybe 3-9 pieces off of per sheet?! Another thing I am constantly frustrated by is that they keep listening to some asshole in an office about thing instead of talking with the actual workers. The don't talk with the people who have to do this day in and day out. They love spending money on useless crap but refuse to use that money on actually fixing or replacing the Machines that MAKE THE PRODUCTS, or you know, invest in the Employees... no, they spend 10k on pointless stands for our cleaning supplies. Stands that take up more space and aren't even build well. They wanna spend 30k on a little 10x10 space when they could have honestly just remodeled and used another area that again, was unnecessary and never gets used anyway. Like, there is an office space that NEVER gets used. I can go on and on but I think my point has been made.
Another thing, Thanks to the Small friend group I have found myself in IRL, I finally feel like I am not wasting away. I have people who I get to hang out with on the weekends, people who actually invite me over to spend time with. Its wild... It's been months but, I am still blown away by the kindness and genuine friendship. Thanks to one of them, I am finally getting to wear my swim suit dress and go swimming for the first time in over a decade. I miss the Water so much, like, when I was invited to have a pool day and cook out, I almost cried. I am going to be really sad when I have to leave these amazing people behind when I end up moving to another state/country in a couple years. Nothing good ever lasts it seems. Still, I am going to try and cherish and enjoy the time I do have with these amazing nerds >^.^<
Transition is going still. I still have some laser sessions for a couple areas that need to be done, but I am seeing the Light at the end of the tunnel. I got maybe two more for my face and 3-4 more for my nether area. Outside of that... been having serious body dysphoria with my breasts. Like... I been Transitioning for like 4-5 years now and I barely have enough booba to be noticeable. I don't want huge honkers but like... if I could go up a couple Cups at least? Big enough that they extend out at or past my belly. I have been on Progesterone for like 4 years. I have tried massaging them, gaining weight. For the last one all that got me was a bigger belly and slightly wider hips. What is a girl meant to do? Guess another thing I might have to save up for is Breast Augmentation. Maybe they can take some of this fat that is growing on my belly and put it in my tits? I have a Check in with the PC soon so I will ask her if there is anything.
I think that is it for now... Peas and Carrots y'all.
