so with me being into 400hours of the 900 hour program of welding school at arc labs ive been struggling for almost about a month on vertical welding and it got me to my breaking point today.

did a bit of soul searching when i got home from it and im disappointed and angry with myself and how ive been taking care of myself mentally and physically. going back and forth with myself on what im doing wrong in what im currently working on and how i can improve msyelf and how i can fix the situation.

like i really want to do welding its a good paying job i dont have to be in a conversation with a customer who bitches at me how to they can do my job better or how it was done wrong (mainly the foreman aka the boss will get on me for that rather that than a karen) but either way im done with food service overall and i hate it as the weeks go by that im still in this shitty hell hole of a paycheck.

other than school im almost 31 WOOO birthday is in 20 days and i feel the age is starting to wera on me cause im getting tired more and i dont feel happy with how i look even with the weight im slowly losing.
im trying to be alot healthier as well stay away from soda alot more and sweets but ugh sweets are my fucking kryptonite like hell. in other good news there was a job fair at school and im probably planning on moving out to ohio cause im FUCKING TIRED of this shitty houston hot weather in texas. look i may be overweight but dear god this heat wave is just busting my balls while im welding and i dont plan on taking any jobs here for welding outside FUCK that mess ill take an indoor job like a fabrication job or structure job at least where there is some shade of some sort/

another thing im also gonna be trying to do is find someone i can be with im tired of being single there is a person who ive had a crush on for a long time on here and she has drawn a character of mine and ill admit i still have some feelings for her but they arent mutual cause i barely ever talk to her and when i do its short convos but i feel like if i wasnt such a shy dumb dumb and choke up on the keyboard and talked to her more maybe something could happen i doubt it but ill still support her and her drawings when im even on this site. you can mainly find me in discords under the same name or under Matlynx in the server.

oh if anyone is playing Diablo4, for honor, or destiny 2 that want to give me some guides or help me out on doing things hit me up on steam or on battle.net my Btag is Matuscha#1743