as i continue to seek work my depression is crippling my appetites as of late i have no motivation. the few games i was playin im now down to really not playing anything. the one family member who was helping me kinda just blew me off when i started getting depressed cause i couldnt find work no matter his help. its really hard to stay mentally stable right now. im starting to waver to heavily suicidal thoughts and it scares me. shit im fucking crying even typing this out. as someone who is heavily heavily ADHD when someone says something or if i let my mind wander to far the thoughts are increasingly hard to ignore. i dont have health care to get anti depressents or any kind of health. i have a huge bill for school i have to pay for but i cant cause i no longer have a job. i even have a large medical bill to pay which i cant afford i keep telling them i cant pay i have nothing in my name i just have my computer my tablets and my phone really. this actually sucks. this country is a fucking mess and i blame this shitty economy and the hate the fear mongering it just doesnt help. im torwards the point in my life i think im having a midlife crisis this is the only thing that makes me think this is what is to blame. i honestly dont know what to do and its confusing me. please if anyone does read this. please tell me something just anything comforting right now can help. please just anything.