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Mini Rant
2 years ago
I'd like to talk about the declaration, "I have no fucks left to give."
Usually when someone says this to us we understand it to mean they don't care about something and that's true, but the declaration says so much more than that and I'd like to take a moment to dive a little deeper into all that extra meaning people either ignore or take for granted.
"I have no fucks left to give."
1) Fucks are discrete and measurable.
2) Fucks are not limitless.
3) Because they are both limited and desired, fucks have value, and that value can be measured.
4) To acquire a fuck from someone, provided they have any in stock, is a voluntary action on the part of the party that has the fucks in the first place (this is crucial).
Really, at the end of the day, when someone says, "I have no fucks left to give," they are not, in fact, saying they don't care. They're ACTUALLY saying, "I have reached a point of such profound emotional exhaustion caring for other things that THIS thing, about which I MIGHT care, is something about which I CAN'T care, because all my care is already farmed out to other things."
Care, represented here in discrete units as fucks, is not limitless, HAS VALUE, can be exhausted, and IS VOLUNTARY.
Now we come to the take home. Ladies and gentlemen, be judicious in who gets your fucks. Do not give them out for free, or thoughtlessly. If someone provides you no benefit, be EXTREMELY reluctant to give them any fucks. Make them pay for what fucks they receive. If they are unwilling to provide value so should YOU be. Do not give away what is of definite value to you because you can - and WILL - run out.
Thank you for attending my TED talk.
Usually when someone says this to us we understand it to mean they don't care about something and that's true, but the declaration says so much more than that and I'd like to take a moment to dive a little deeper into all that extra meaning people either ignore or take for granted.
"I have no fucks left to give."
1) Fucks are discrete and measurable.
2) Fucks are not limitless.
3) Because they are both limited and desired, fucks have value, and that value can be measured.
4) To acquire a fuck from someone, provided they have any in stock, is a voluntary action on the part of the party that has the fucks in the first place (this is crucial).
Really, at the end of the day, when someone says, "I have no fucks left to give," they are not, in fact, saying they don't care. They're ACTUALLY saying, "I have reached a point of such profound emotional exhaustion caring for other things that THIS thing, about which I MIGHT care, is something about which I CAN'T care, because all my care is already farmed out to other things."
Care, represented here in discrete units as fucks, is not limitless, HAS VALUE, can be exhausted, and IS VOLUNTARY.
Now we come to the take home. Ladies and gentlemen, be judicious in who gets your fucks. Do not give them out for free, or thoughtlessly. If someone provides you no benefit, be EXTREMELY reluctant to give them any fucks. Make them pay for what fucks they receive. If they are unwilling to provide value so should YOU be. Do not give away what is of definite value to you because you can - and WILL - run out.
Thank you for attending my TED talk.
Edited to add, this applies to your own hobbies too, don't spread yourself too thin and burn out!
(says a man with far too many interests hobbies, many of them stalled/on indefinite hold)