The other day I had just completed my latest work, and I was admiring it. A golden egg, big as a house, laid on top of Bloodsucking Bob's Friendly Car Title and Payday Loans. Smashed the whole roof in. I was chuckling to myself in the parking lot when a dragon came up to me. Typical dragon, big and bloated, lots of jewelry, cage full of slaves.
"Oh hey, nice!" He says. "I love how you crushed that building and lit it on fire. Great technique."
"Thanks," I said.
"Me and some other high society folks are going to stomp buildings later. You should come along!" He said.
"Can't, I have to wash my hair," I replied.
"Oh, that's too bad. I'm sure the others would just adore you," he said.
I winced at that.
"Anyway, I'm off to go be fawned over and fed live cattle by my miserable thralls. They haven't been praising me or feeding me enough lately. But you know how that goes, don't you?" he said.
"It is so disappointingly rare for people like us to get what we deserve, isn't it?" I sneered.
"So true!" he exclaimed jovially. "But you, you're so immensely plump. I'm horribly jealous. How do you stay so fat?"
"Well it's easy, really," I explained. "Every time I meet someone I can't stand, I eat them."
Then I ate him.