Not RL:DRing this, if you give a fuck, read it.

Some of you know about my cat, the wonderful orange tabby. He's been unwell for some time, was dealing with kidney failure for 10 years or so. The first time he needed a major surgery I put a picture of him here, and a note as to why i needed help. And i got that help, more than i needed honestly, and people told me to put it to his continued care.

I was fortunate enough to have midnight come into my life, and with her support, and drive, she improved not only my life, but that of our little boy. Over the years many things have been made possible by our growth, we didn't need help taking care of his base needs, we could give him the best we could find. And he lived well, but was slowing down.

Over the years he would play less, jumping started to cause him discomfort, so medications we gave him, and they helped. Then one day he vomited blood.

Sadly, when the emergency veterinarian came out, it was not a happy result. He has Lymphoma, quite advanced. His heart wasn't the best, his kidneys were moving into stage 3 failure... and now he would need more medications that would just make him suffer. We tried everything, thinking maybe it was just a infection. the vet gave us a 7-day antibiotic, and we pretended thats what we needed.

Day four of antibiotics... he was RUNNING through the house, stealing out kittens toys, going crazy and acting 7 years younger.

7 years younger...

We have video of him just letting loose. You can hear us crying it in, because as happy as we were to see him so energetic... we also knew what his life would go back to. He was happy, we didnt force him to stay with us too long, but we worried that rather than going back to being our old man... he would go back to being sick and weak.

And he did.. two days after the antibiotic, basically when it finally fully left his system, he didnt want to move, didnt want company... didnt want MY company. For those who knew Dabjai, that last one would be horribly telling of his condition. We talked for 3 hours... read articles... everything.

All of them agreed on one thing: If you think its time, its likely time.

It.. was time...

Sept 28th 2023 was the worst day of my life to date. Breakups happen, houses burn down, family dies, all of that matters. But Dabjai has been with me though... most of that.. been my companion always. I would cry and he was in my lap, i would wake up to a cold nose, and he was burrowing to lay agienst my chest for the night...

He was a fact of my life. And now that fact is gone. Midnight and i said good by, it was very very peacful. And we came home and spend the next 3 days in tears basically living in bed.

Its almost a month now, Midnight and I wear a vial of his fur around our necks, and he sits with Zuse my first feline companion. I walk by the room he napped in and i go to lean into tease him... I walk intot he kitchen and open the blinds on the doors for him to have better access to sunlight. Hell, i even "go to be" early and sit on the sofa and read.. all waiting for him.

I am more worried when i don't do these things, but... Thats healing. Sorry for rambling, i think i just needed to say it.