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Haven't Been this Depressed in Awhile
2 years ago
Just having bad depression and anxiety. Specifically in regard to that deep gut feeling of dread. Crashed earlier because I had too many sweets. Also went to a wedding party for my brother and felt totally alienated. Not from anything they did, to be clear. The people there were nothing but nice. Just not used to socializing anymore. Family stopped doing much large events since the lockdown, and just never started doing stuff again. Dunno what happened.
Vix
In the beginning, it was bad enough to see me hospitalized, drugged/treated literally out of my mind, all the rest, until I started facing my problems head-on, studying and researching them/their effects, and then distancing myself from the g-damned 'Doctors' and their financial incentive machines (aka the 'Pharmaceuticals' ) It was a herculean effort on my part, and it would've been so damned easy to just give up, take whatever 'They said/prescribed,' and die a stupefied idiot.
I can't (And never would make the attempt!) tell anyone else how to deal with their own inner demons/problems. I've never been that arrogant/narcissistic!
I do recognize this kind of pain/trauma/problem, however.
(((Hugs))) [Yes, I realize I do that, perhaps too often, but I never mean to be 'Creepy' in doing it!]
Why are you depressed?
I'm not expecting you to answer publicly.
If you don't ask that question, and THEN answer, to yourself, honestly?
...
I now live this life with the understanding that 'I' have 'Depression.' 'Depression' does NOT have 'Me!'
You gotta take that stance, 'cause something inside us, our minds/bodies/Souls, is vulnerable to 'Depression.'
We're an amazing collection of assembled atoms, elements, substances. The human brain is still the most mysterious biological computer, ever. It goes w/o saying we're going to have some bad connections/mis-fires inside our cranium!
(Makes Life more interesting, truth-be-told!)
Not trying to bore you/anyone with my own ramblings Hon.. Just,,, sharing,,, so you/others know that you're NOT 'Alone.'
:: Resists the hugs... For now... ::
WE have to find a way to navigate ourselves. I've said/shared this perspective before, but really, you just can't ignore/dismiss it. We must look at ourselves, our history, experiences, and then judge why and how we arrived at this very second in this Life, and then?
(The $1,000.00 question)
Decide wtf we're going to do about it!
(((HUGS!!!!)))
(You KNEW they were gonna happen, yes?)
All I can advise is this- We have this Life, and WE must find a reason to justify it, and to find satisfaction/respect/honor in the living of it!
This is our goal, our ambition, our Duty.
No one else can do this for us, after all.
For all the bad things, Life also has so many good/great ones!
We can't erase the bad stuff we've lived through. Ya just can't.
We CAN survive them, and then reach out towards the good, hold onto it, and relish/appreciate/adore it...
It is our choice, in the end.
I wish you all the very best. The world is so much better with you in it, interacting with it/us!
:-D