FA+
Shop
As the Seasons Change
2 years ago
Been a while since I was properly on here, been a while since I've said anything. First of all, I just want to thank all of the people that have decided to watch me. That I even have 20 people that do so is...incredible, honestly. And I'm sure there'd be even more if I posted...well, anything that I get lol
But, those that know me, well...they know that I've not had a good year. I've had a lot of lows and not many highs. From medical debt that I almost got out of before being told that an infection that ravaged my skull's bone mass may never have been properly dealt with, to insults from those I'd once called 'friend' to simple poor judgement on who and what to commission. The year has not been kind to me, and I always find that as the cool settles in, and the summer fades...that I tend to reflect a lot. And I tend to not like what I see in that mirror. Or around me for that matter. From spending almost every night completely alone in dead silence and no server or friend wanting to even talk let alone spend time with me, to the frustrating lack of ideas that plagues me. I'm finding myself feeling the bottom of the metaphorical rope far more often than I'd like as of late. But, there are a slim few that at least respond to my messages occasionally, or tolerate my being in their dms. I think that without them...I wouldn't be here, now.
But this isn't just a journal for me to complain. It's a journal that I'm hoping to use to...I guess reach out a bit. Maybe make some friends, hang out with some people or something. And while I can't make any promises for uploading in the near future, I am at least trying to stay the course, and not let my ship sink. Which, frankly, has felt like a very easy thing to do. But hopefully, I will find the strength, the creativity, and the inspiration that I need to share again, and soon.
Until then, I thank you for giving me your time and consideration. May you find peace and prosperity ladening your paws.
But, those that know me, well...they know that I've not had a good year. I've had a lot of lows and not many highs. From medical debt that I almost got out of before being told that an infection that ravaged my skull's bone mass may never have been properly dealt with, to insults from those I'd once called 'friend' to simple poor judgement on who and what to commission. The year has not been kind to me, and I always find that as the cool settles in, and the summer fades...that I tend to reflect a lot. And I tend to not like what I see in that mirror. Or around me for that matter. From spending almost every night completely alone in dead silence and no server or friend wanting to even talk let alone spend time with me, to the frustrating lack of ideas that plagues me. I'm finding myself feeling the bottom of the metaphorical rope far more often than I'd like as of late. But, there are a slim few that at least respond to my messages occasionally, or tolerate my being in their dms. I think that without them...I wouldn't be here, now.
But this isn't just a journal for me to complain. It's a journal that I'm hoping to use to...I guess reach out a bit. Maybe make some friends, hang out with some people or something. And while I can't make any promises for uploading in the near future, I am at least trying to stay the course, and not let my ship sink. Which, frankly, has felt like a very easy thing to do. But hopefully, I will find the strength, the creativity, and the inspiration that I need to share again, and soon.
Until then, I thank you for giving me your time and consideration. May you find peace and prosperity ladening your paws.
