Well, it's been a while since I did one of these with any actual information. And I'd hoped things would improve, but. Not the hand I was meant to have, I guess. This year has been some of the toughest times I've ever been through. From having nothing but poor luck mentally, physically, and mechanically, causing debt to just skyrocket, to my journey here in the fandom... Seems this year has been, "hey Zor, find all the rocks and hit your head on them!" And boy have I done that.

Fairweather friends, imposter friends that only harbor negative opinions, hostile "friends" that only wanted to push me down or never thought I was any good at all to begin with... I'm kinda at my limit, for negativity coming from others in the fandom. Of being treated, and sometimes told, that I'm just not good enough to be anywhere, to do anything. And it's affected my uploading. I've not had the confidence or energy to post anything, talk about anything, because of all this crap. All the curb stomping I've been getting has made me not even excited about anything anymore. And that's not anything internal, that's direct outside influence. And I wish people could understand they can say whatever they want, sure, but all words have consequences. And it's not my fault they chose the words they did.

But, I haven't lost all my hope...yet. I plan on getting back to uploading, at some point. I plan on posting things, and moving forward with lore and such. But first, I have to get over authors and artists and friends' words on how I was never going to be capable of anything worth writing about, never was going to be worth the time to draw, never had interests and was just appropriating other people's kinks, never was relevant to any conversation, deserve to be ignored for being someone that struggles at all... All the negative sludge that seems to constantly be thrown my way, and the looking down the snout at me for being dirty afterwards. When I can get over that, and have the flow stop...then I can get back to doing what I want to do, being who I want to be. Until then...patience, while I cut these negative parts out of my life like the tumors they are. Growing on my money, on my effort, my care, and only harboring ill will and low opinions.

As always, thank you for reading. I hope to have more positive ones in the future, but. As I said, that depends on the people I interact with, and while the ones I deal with often think so lowly of me, that's not going to happen. But I will keep moving forward. Even if it takes me a long time to take a single step, they cannot stop this dragon. They cannot keep me down. And if you're struggling, I hope you can do the same. Never give up, never let these negative people and places in the fandom make you quit.