Suffer Dread
a year ago
Early 40’s might seem fairly young, depending on your own age probably. Even if its seems older to you, it didn’t occur to me that it would be an age to have to contend with my parents health issues. It’s not something anyone warms you about getting older, seeing your parents grow older.
It feels like I’m on my own trying to keep things organized and on track.
It puts creative endeavors on the back burner. In my case, the back burner on a stove in derelict house, in which no one has lived in for a long time.
Both in taking up time, and in taking away the desire to create.
Really though, I don’t see how things will get better any time soon. And it just seems like it was naive of me to imagine I could have made a decent life for myself. (Descent life?)
It makes me wonder what the point of existence is. Even if we leave behind some body of work, something made by ones own hand, friends, family who remember you fondly, or even some enemy; someday it will all be forgotten.
Well, I’m in no state to continue ramblings about an existential crisis.
It feels like I’m on my own trying to keep things organized and on track.
It puts creative endeavors on the back burner. In my case, the back burner on a stove in derelict house, in which no one has lived in for a long time.
Both in taking up time, and in taking away the desire to create.
Really though, I don’t see how things will get better any time soon. And it just seems like it was naive of me to imagine I could have made a decent life for myself. (Descent life?)
It makes me wonder what the point of existence is. Even if we leave behind some body of work, something made by ones own hand, friends, family who remember you fondly, or even some enemy; someday it will all be forgotten.
Well, I’m in no state to continue ramblings about an existential crisis.
Stand strong and continue to do what you love, the ones who you've left an impact on will remember you and carry on with you as their inspiration and strength.