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The past week has been one of the most emotionally demanding times of my life. I essentially uprooted my entire existence and moved across continents to begin anew. I came to Canada with my mom because she wanted to make sure everything was in order before she evidently headed back home after a few days.

When I saw her off at the airport, I wished more than anything in the world that time would stop right then and there and I could just hold her forever. I cried. A lot. Like the ugly cry.

These are all brand new experiences to me and I don’t know what to expect.

I’m going to study in an academic system I’ve never interacted with before. Live in a country I’ve never even visited until now. Be surrounded by people I’ve never met. And for the first time in my long adult life: live by myself, away from the warmth and comfort that family and the family home can bring.

It was really a lot to take in.

I knew in myself that I could do this. I know how to cook. I’m not going to starve. I know how to take care of myself. I’m not alone. We have relatives in the area–literally a few blocks away from where I’m staying that I can go and ask for help in case something happens. But just because your brain knows that you’ll be fine doesn’t mean that your emotions would agree with it. Thankfully I’m slowly, ever so slowly, adjusting. The marvel of technology has the ability to miraculously shorten the immaculate distance between me and my family. I can easily call them on Messenger. I have no idea and have more respect now to the people who did this before technology is the way that it is now. Being far away from loved ones is freaking difficult.

My classes officially start tomorrow on Monday.

I want to say that I’m confident that I should be fine given that this is essentially the third time I’m going back to college. But I’d rather not let my own hubris be the cause of my own downfall.

I don’t know how things are going to go. I just hope things are going to pan out for the better.

Also, Canada is FREAKING COLD.

As someone who was used to 40c temperatures, going down to single digits of 4s and 1c, this is extreme.

I sure hope I can survive the coming winter.

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