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~~~~~ A Brief Visit ~~~~~~

It’s a weird feeling.

Last week I flew back to my home country for a short while to attend the clan reunion my family had a hand in organizing. I thought I would feel, I don’t know, more excited about the idea; of being able to head home and see my family in person again. And I was, don’t get me wrong. It was nice to see my older sister who I haven’t seen in over 5 years, as well as see my younger sister again. The same goes for my mom and dad.
But what was weird about it was how I didn’t really feel…anything when I effectively touched the ground I’ve spent more than 20+ years of my life on. I didn’t really know what I was expecting. I guess I was thinking that I would feel relieved. Perhaps excited to finally back in familiar territory. Breathe in that nostalgic air I spent a large portion of my life breathing.

I thought I would be elated. But I was just…there. It felt special in a sense that I understand that not many people have the opportunity to go back the way that I did in such a short amount of time. But I suppose there was just a part of me that was just not really happy to be there. Not that I wasn’t happy attending the reunion or anything. It’s not that. But just a general feeling. Which is odd considering I remember having a portion of me a year ago not wanting to leave.

Funny how that works.

I guess you could just chalk it up to me not liking the country that I was born in. Is the one I’m in now perfect? Far from it. It has its own fair share of problems and I’m not naive enough to ignore those. But the good that it does offer outweigh the problems that I remember dealing with regularly in my old country. I suppose spending a year abroad the way that I did really changed my perspective on things. I’ve met new people. Experienced a lot of new things and new emotions. And I hope to keep doing that as time goes on.

Hopefully I can put roots here. Because I like it here. Even with all the snow.

Does that mean I don’t ever want to go back to my old country? No. I’d still be happy to visit. If there was ever another reunion. Hell yeah, I’d be down. The long haul flight is just going to be a pain in the ass though. Quite literally.

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