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~~~~~ 2024 Retrospective ~~~~~~

As of writing this journal, it is currently December 31, 2024.

Looking back at what happened this year, it’s quite a lot actually.

The biggest thing is that I left my island. For the first time in my entire life, I moved away from my family, moved across the seas, and onto a different continent. It was a new life essentially. I moved to a country I’ve never been to before, was surrounded by people I’ve never met, and lived primarily by myself, with a roommate to boot.

I didn’t know what to expect. I was very nervous, rightfully so. I don’t think I will ever forget the feeling I had when I arrived here in Canada for the first time. It just felt different. The air was different, the people were different, the weather was different; everything was the same yet different. It was hard to put into words. My mom came with me to drop me off here to make sure I was settled, and eventually she had to leave to go back home.
When she left, I cried.

That was officially the first time in my entire life thus far that the only person I could rely on was myself.

Adjusting to life here took a good minute. But, as with time, I adjusted.

Now, I’ve been living here for a good 8 months.

And honestly, I wish I could keep living here.

However, I don’t know if I can. If there’s anything I’m sure of, it’s that nothing is for certain. I remember vividly writing up a Google Doc plan that when I came here, I was going to do this, that, those, and even these. But life has a way of reminding you that it is chaotic by nature. Majority of the stuff written in that Google Doc has yet to happen.

I’ve tried to find a part time job but was unable to. Primarily because it conflicted with my schooling. And I didn’t want that to suffer. Thankfully I was in a better position than my international peers where I could do without needing said job, but I still wanted it nonetheless.

I tried looking for an internship. Desperately so, in hopes of increasing my chances for better prospects in the near future. Out of 50+ applications over the span of four months, I was able to find one that would give me an interview. However, I had to decline it, unfortunately due to immigration conflicts. This one stung because I felt I had a good shot at it, all things considered, but I was forced to let go due to reasons beyond my control.

So now, 2025 is literally right around the corner. In just a few hours, the clock will strike and the calendar will roll over and we’ll be back again at the top.

2025 is definitely going to be the most unknown year of my entire life thus far.

I do not know what’s going to happen. I’m not even sure if I want to even dare to be optimistic. It’s just hard to look so far ahead when it can all change in the blink of an eye.

It will be the year I would have to graduate. Again. For the third time.

It will be the year I would have to find a job after graduation. And that is going to be one hell of a challenge given the landscape of my industry.

It could be the year that everything here, an entire year spent in Canada, all for naught, and I would have to cut my losses and head back home to my island at my corner of the globe. I genuinely do not want that.

It’s hard to say or to put into words the anxiety I feel about the uncertainty of everything that’s going to happen in the future. But ultimately, I just hope that despite everything that’s going to happen, everything will work out fine for the better.

I suppose that’s the most I can ask for.

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