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"Wanna Talk?"
a year ago
I'll probably delete this. Or not. I don't know.
I get these messages now and then and they seem to go in one of three ways:
1) Sometimes we will strike a conversation and it'll go well and we'll become regular correspondences. It is the rarest of them all and there is usually some sort of foundation to it.
2) Person actually wants to RP which...my libido has been nonexistent over the past year, and my RP mood has been even less so. So it ends in disappointment and awkward trailing off.
3) Conversation is attempted and trails off.
2 and 3 are most often. And...dunno. Like, I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. I comment around a lot and I guess it gives the impression of someone more interesting? More chatty? More exciting?
As it stands, I am introverted, socially awkward and generally stand-offish as a person. Especially where there is no foundational reason to talk about, I don't exactly open up to people right away.
And I guess it is...disappointing to people? A few contacts I added on 2 and 3, I tried to keep the conversation and contact up because I am trying to be better about the whole contact thing that cost me friendships in the past. But I don't think I am good at it. Or at the people no longer seem interested?
I don't know man, social interactions are weird and difficult and I struggle with them at the best of times, let alone these days when life is ceaselessly fucking me with a sandpaper dildo. It just feels performative to message when I have nothing new to say and nothing uplifting to add.
Eh. I just feel like most of those who message me asking for a chat leave disappointed at seeing behind the facade.
I get these messages now and then and they seem to go in one of three ways:
1) Sometimes we will strike a conversation and it'll go well and we'll become regular correspondences. It is the rarest of them all and there is usually some sort of foundation to it.
2) Person actually wants to RP which...my libido has been nonexistent over the past year, and my RP mood has been even less so. So it ends in disappointment and awkward trailing off.
3) Conversation is attempted and trails off.
2 and 3 are most often. And...dunno. Like, I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. I comment around a lot and I guess it gives the impression of someone more interesting? More chatty? More exciting?
As it stands, I am introverted, socially awkward and generally stand-offish as a person. Especially where there is no foundational reason to talk about, I don't exactly open up to people right away.
And I guess it is...disappointing to people? A few contacts I added on 2 and 3, I tried to keep the conversation and contact up because I am trying to be better about the whole contact thing that cost me friendships in the past. But I don't think I am good at it. Or at the people no longer seem interested?
I don't know man, social interactions are weird and difficult and I struggle with them at the best of times, let alone these days when life is ceaselessly fucking me with a sandpaper dildo. It just feels performative to message when I have nothing new to say and nothing uplifting to add.
Eh. I just feel like most of those who message me asking for a chat leave disappointed at seeing behind the facade.
And I worry I might not share that many mutual interests and then...conversation just dies.
But the biggest problem I run into...somebody approaches me...I talk back, Im pretty good about engaging. But then its as if I intimidate them because I do more then 1 sentence / 1 word responses.
Or they are socially awkward and cant carry a conversation....kinda pisses me off.
I used to LOVE RP....but it got boring being the Dom ALL the time...and getting lazy partners that are basically just using me for entertainment & Fingerbait
And I find Im terrible in chat groups.
At least with people I dont personally know. My IRL friends its great! But in the fandom...its just....awkward
Lol Im over here Venting.
And I agree with the talking back thing too. At times I tried to broach my interests in hopes of initiating something, but nothing. Just leaves me confused as to why they messaged to begin with. Like you said, maybe they're shy?
RP got unhealthy for me and then I burned out. I still have a few playmates but I play with them less and less. Its a bit sad in a way, because some of them I've shared some truly special fun and I feel like I am neglecting them. But at the same time, it's definitely been less consumptive for me and I've managed to direct my creativity on other places.
In any case, thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's nice (well, not nice, but you know) to know the experience isn't altogether unusual.
You already have (at least some) stuff in common, and you know they appreciate you, so why not just say hi, how's the day going? The ball is in their court, it's not like the phone will bite back, haha.
Alternatively, not being into small talk is also perfectly okay, but if that's the case I'm not sure what's the issue.
Chat groups are kind of a weird thing (specially in Telegram, but all of them in Discord, too, anyway). And it's true that a lot of people want to RP (and some, ONLY to RP...), but it's also perfectly okay to just say no, I think. Shows rather fast if the other person is interested in something more, or not.
It might sound contradictory with how I interact with people on my page and even now in this journal, but also like I say, I will talk when approached.. Im just not a great starter at times.
My randomass journals, are pretty much the best instance I have in "starting" a conversation.
But on the inverse, if someone approaches me, I guess I expect them to also present the topics of conversation for us to fit into?
Most of the time, it tends to be that there's not much in common, or that the conversation doesn't flow (for chemistry or whatever), than actually the other person being "humph, no rp, go away".
If you're an introvert I guess that makes it harder to engage in talking with you, or makes you not engage actively yourself with others, making it more difficult for the other person to understand that you were interested in keeping in touch.
I don't really think it's anyone's fault and it's separate things. Comments are always nice and welcome, and sometimes people have one hell of a time chatting, and sometimes, they just don't find a lot of common ground. Doesn't mean they despise you or are disappointed by you.
Though if someone was a cunt with you over this, I guess they can fuck off, lol. You can not chat with someone often, and that doesn't mean you have to be against each other.
Thank you ^^