Been a while since I've done a Personal Bear Thoughts journal but now feels like the right time as I wanted to talk about something that everyone can relate to, job hunting. As some might know, I quit my full-time job a year ago as it was getting way too stressful there and I needed to prioritize my mental health, it was the hardest decision I've ever made since I had a great team and got emotional giving the manager my two-week notice. After leaving my banking job, I started to pick up extra hours at my concessions job where I was working every event rather than coming in on the weekends, it's been good for a while but I've noticed how unreliable it is with his inconsistent the scheduling is as some weeks I work a lot of events, some only a few and then there are weeks where there are no events, especially during the summer months. The pay there is never guaranteed because I only get paid commission based on my sales so there are some events where I make a lot of money and some where I barely make any money. Also, it doesn't help that the hours are always late meaning that I don't get home until the very late evening. It is a nice side gig but as a regular job, it's not the best as I'm considered a part-time employee and it's not a job where you see yourself growing.

As for what I'm looking for, I figured that I would give graphic design another try but I've noticed that it's hard finding a job in that field. I went to school for it getting my bachelor's degree in 2014 but I only had an on-campus job, an internship, and a contract job focusing on graphic design. Everywhere else I applied to either said no, never got back to me, wanted candidates with plus years of experience, or wanted web designers only, I suck at coding and don't understand it. It also doesn't help that these jobs are in big cities and I don't have that kind of money to relocate and start a new life in a different state. Makes me kinda regret going to college and getting a degree in something and not using my degree along with me still paying off my student loan (I'm not saying this to discourage others from going to college, if you want to further your education by all means go for it. My only recommendation is to think about what it is you want to do and see if a college degree is really necessary for it).

Seeing that graphic design isn't an option anymore, I've decided that I wanted to go back into banking as I was much happier at my first banking job before I started working at the new bank, I would've stayed with the first bank but it was bought out by another bank and I unfortunately was at one of the closing branches that they didn't need. I've applied to many different banks and I've gotten a few interviews but haven't found anything promising, or I thought at the time was promising. I do have the experience and can work as a teller and a banker as needed but I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I sometimes feel like they aren't really looking over these applications and only looking for certain keywords. Mind you most of these are considered entry-level positions and it still hurts that you know that you have the skills but they never consider you for the company. I feel like it's because they want more people with banker experience but don't want to train new hires in it, I do know how to open accounts and process loan closings, just not sure what else I can do to prove that I'm the best candidate for the job.

In conclusion, yes I'm sad that I'm having shit luck with finding a job but it's important to not get discouraged by it. It's tough out there and I don't want to work in food service or retail, I already have that experience working concessions and I know that it's a bitch dealing with people in high volume places, I have mad respect for people that are working food service and retail as I couldn't handle it as I am a very sensitive guy.