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Time to lay down my thoughts again...
11 months ago
(I apologize, my grammar and punctuation sucks right now and i dont have the energy to go back and fix it.)
So some good news. I had my first procedure of burning the nerves that cause my back pain. I'm still a little sore from the needle punctures but the swelling is gone and...I can barely feel anything on my left side. Because of that, my right side is freaking out. I feel lots of painful muscle spasms on the right side trying to do what it thinks is compensation for the left that is now less painful and relaxing. The doc is trying hard to get me in before January, but if no one cancels, i'm just gonna have to wait till next year for the right side to get done. Im still hopeful. there is so much to do and so little time. other news includes me freaking out over having a felon as our president and what he will do to fuck it up even more if not turn it into a dictatorship. as much as i think im doomed, im gonna have to face my life right now if ill have a future. its hard having ocd and adhd. i can hide alot of it but it comes out all the time around my husband cause i dont have to hide it with him and he accepts me as much as i accept and love him. i still have a comic to finish for antarctic press. but it does help bring in much needed money. its gonna be impossible to get funds from plush again till i complete it for publishing. same will go for Twisted Existence. im patient but it sucks when you wont see money till you complete a project. i think my book "Fallen" will be the only stable book ill have from then on. im slowly working on stuff i avoided and getting it worked on. i have a 'catch all' corner of my room and its quite a tall pile now. only recently have i cleaned off my desk cause i felt miserable for a while emotionally and mentally. my love bug is the only one making me stay sane though. I keep wishing i had a vacuum for the one room apartment we have cause dusting isnt cutting it anymore but a stick vacuum is still too much to afford for me. i still have a huuuge box of 10 year old mail i need to go through and shred. after all of these things jumping around in my head, the thought of this week has been cooler finally for where i live is nice. its been over cast and dark and rainy. i love the cold and when weather starts being this way, i cant wait for winter. (wants to wear her heavily insulated 'snuggie' her husband bought them last year) anyway, life is cruddy but theres still some good sides i can see every so often. i hope i can make it another 4 years....
So some good news. I had my first procedure of burning the nerves that cause my back pain. I'm still a little sore from the needle punctures but the swelling is gone and...I can barely feel anything on my left side. Because of that, my right side is freaking out. I feel lots of painful muscle spasms on the right side trying to do what it thinks is compensation for the left that is now less painful and relaxing. The doc is trying hard to get me in before January, but if no one cancels, i'm just gonna have to wait till next year for the right side to get done. Im still hopeful. there is so much to do and so little time. other news includes me freaking out over having a felon as our president and what he will do to fuck it up even more if not turn it into a dictatorship. as much as i think im doomed, im gonna have to face my life right now if ill have a future. its hard having ocd and adhd. i can hide alot of it but it comes out all the time around my husband cause i dont have to hide it with him and he accepts me as much as i accept and love him. i still have a comic to finish for antarctic press. but it does help bring in much needed money. its gonna be impossible to get funds from plush again till i complete it for publishing. same will go for Twisted Existence. im patient but it sucks when you wont see money till you complete a project. i think my book "Fallen" will be the only stable book ill have from then on. im slowly working on stuff i avoided and getting it worked on. i have a 'catch all' corner of my room and its quite a tall pile now. only recently have i cleaned off my desk cause i felt miserable for a while emotionally and mentally. my love bug is the only one making me stay sane though. I keep wishing i had a vacuum for the one room apartment we have cause dusting isnt cutting it anymore but a stick vacuum is still too much to afford for me. i still have a huuuge box of 10 year old mail i need to go through and shred. after all of these things jumping around in my head, the thought of this week has been cooler finally for where i live is nice. its been over cast and dark and rainy. i love the cold and when weather starts being this way, i cant wait for winter. (wants to wear her heavily insulated 'snuggie' her husband bought them last year) anyway, life is cruddy but theres still some good sides i can see every so often. i hope i can make it another 4 years....
