I think, for a lot of those types of deeper conversations, it's more that it's just a really difficult subject to navigate, and a lot of people don't really have that emotional experience to discuss it in-depth.

There's also the factor where, when these subjects normally come up, and you're on the receiving end of someone talking through their negative emotions, you kinda start feeling like you're on a knife's edge and have to weigh what you say super carefully. It can feel like a wrong word or expression could lead to worse negative thoughts, and then what was a deeper convo about emotions spirals into calming someone down from things like self-harm or suicidal ideation. And there aren't a lot of people who are really capable and comfortable walking that line of discussing those topics while keeping the conversation pointed in a more neutral or positive direction.

That usually leads to the convo diversion, though a lot of the times from my experience and friend group it's less because they're getting depressed by it and more because they're wanting to help you focus on something aside from the loneliness or depression to try and help it pass, in case it's a temporary feeling.

In your case, with it being a longer-lasting and stronger feeling, it may be worthwhile to talk to a professional who would have that emotional experience to help you work through them. While my partners and I all know we have each other, we still have a therapist we see regularly to help with providing the tools we need to work through the traumas and negative emotions we experience. If that isn't something you've had the chance to try yet, it may be worthwhile to give it a shot, and they may have resources to things like support groups or other things in the community to help you with the loneliness until you're able to find someone that can be there for you in the way you need, and you can be there for them in turn.

*hugs!* I hope that all makes sense, and it helps in some way. Just know that even with how heavy those emotions weigh on you, you do have friends you can reach out to for support. Even if we can't be the ones that fix what's wrong, we can still do what we can to support you as you work through it.

I think you're right. People aren't sure what to say, or how to respond. There's also a sense of being overwhelmed, and so they might shut down or shut you out. They do it without meaning to. Or maybe they do. It could be about self protection. At the same time, I'm learning to be more self sufficient. I try not to rely on anyone. I once thought depending on others was not good, as I grew up with issues in that regard, thanks to my parents. Friends taught me I could lean on them, that I wasn't alone. In recent years, I'm reminded that perhaps that's not always possible. People have their own lives, and with them their own problems. They can't take on or listen to, let alone help you, with yours. At least, I've gotten the feeling it's asking too much. I find a way to manage, or I don't. I'm probably not managing well these days. I meander with words, thoughts, here.

People have to find a way to navigate the darkness with you, to help you find light, or offer at least some form of reassurance. As you outlined, that can be difficult. Walking the razor's edge. Not engaging at all can feel like the safer option. Only, that is isolating for the person going through something. They learn to stop reaching out. I've taken it for granted that words are my forte, thoughts formed into language, emotions navigated, and I would be there for others. So I can forget it doesn't come easily for everyone. Not that it's easy for me. Doing that for so many years, often only to see them vanish from my life after they grow to the point of not needing me or our friendship anymore, is weighing on me.

Convo diversion would sometimes help. If a person doesn't have a pressing need to deal with something in immediacy, and if they're in a panicked spiral and would benefit from distraction. OCD does lend one toward over focusing on something in the now that is not as significant or life shattering as one might fear.

I had a therapist, but she took leave to have her baby. I was paying so much to see her I just figured having more money to put toward survival was the better option after. I also, upon reflection, wondered if I got much help in the long run. Then, it's also a bit depressing if the only person you can talk to is a therapist. You're paying them to be your friend more than a professional, in a sense. Of course, if you need that professional aspect, it can be good. My life is sort of in a holding pattern, again. I'm not living very much as I'd want. Or hope. I'm in a city. I'm not in a profession I thought I'd be, but it's like, the thing one does to make life work. It's financially secure, which is sort of hard to let go of, especially after past trauma of losing jobs and not having that security. If only I didn't feel so tired all of the time, I'd have more energy to put toward finding something more suitable. This was supposed to be temporary, I thought. The people I work with are nice, it's not a bad place. We're treated well, as far as companies go. But I really don't feel fulfilled, and my sleepiness keeps intensifying. Which compounds my short-term memory. It begins to worry me. I need to aspire to dreams again. I don't know how though. Even if I had the energy. My therapist noted all of this, said I needed to learn to hope again. She thought finding time and energy to put toward pursuing happiness in life was important.

Sorry for the long ramble. Thanks for the considerate response, your supportive thoughts, and the hugs. It does make sense, no worries. I meant to reply sooner. Then my father died right before Christmas, and I just lost track of things. I'm trying to get a handle on them now. I appreciate your friendship. If you ever get west out of Georgia, let me know. *Hugs you back.*

Colorado.Arent there a lot of furs living by you?

I have a few local friends, but everyone has lives, and so it can be hard to do much outside of online, or even align schedules for that much.