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Obligatory End of the Year Journal ⁴
8 months ago
Tl;dr: Year was overall bad. Health is still bad but now I'm improving a bit through treatment of something I didn't know I had. Mentally in hell. Looking for IRL job while I wait for better times. Art got better but I need to draw more OCs and be cringe and free.
Another shitty year has passed, and in all honesty? I feel defeated in too many ways, and have little hopes for next year or going forward in general. Still, got no other choice than keep going, so *shrug*
To be fair, there have been some genuinely nice things, like finally owning a fursuit (made in collab with a friend and my partner) and having the best time ever while going/vending at two small but cozy furcons, but the rest was... terrible, no way around it.
My overall health is still a major (literaly) pain point that keeps holding me back in everything in life.
The one (in-perspective) positive thing this year was finding out I have yet another chronic condition I was not aware of, since getting treatment for it not only removed a lot of the daily pain but also improved the one I was aware of!
I mean, it took a while for me to adjust, there are some drawbacks and I'm still very much not "okay", but on average the pain has been a step or two lower on the scale and there are improvements, so y'know, a small win with conditions is still a win.
Hopefully I'll be able to return to regular light exercising, as this year I was constantly sick or too in pain to even try to keep the routine. I honestly miss it and how it improved my ability to draw for a longer time.
Mental health could be a lot better as well, and this year has been a rollercoaster given that my living situation is... a thing for sure. Not gonna ramble further about that, but it's rough out here and it made me withdraw from most social situations, because I often just don't have the energy to pretend I'm fine and I don't want to ruin the vibe.
I also started looking for an IRL job in the last third of the year, but so far I only got one interview that went nowhere.
Given the job situation in my country and my overall situation, it's been extremely depressing, but I have no other option than giving it a honest try and save up. Jumping into proper freelancing (in this pos country that hates small businesses, especially online) with no economic safety net and a wobbling health is not something I really wanna risk now, so we'll see about that in a year.
Art-wise, things have gotten better, as I managed to seriously reduce that damned artblock, and now I'm at least able to draw for longer and longer without constant flare ups and while genuinely enjoying it.
Even with all the health mess of this year and not being able to work as much as I would have liked, I still feel like I improved a lot, at least enough to *gasp* like my own stuff again!
Next year I'll still take comms and YCHs every now and then (more on that and website updates at a later date), however I will be mostly focusing on my own OCs, original stories and fanart. I've been pushing the things I love to the side for years, and it's been very detrimental to me, being one of the major causes of this massive and long-lasting artblock.
But yeah, as always, thank you to those who stuck around this far and kept supporting me in even small yet very meaningful ways <3 I would have given up a long time ago without y'all ;v;
Another shitty year has passed, and in all honesty? I feel defeated in too many ways, and have little hopes for next year or going forward in general. Still, got no other choice than keep going, so *shrug*
To be fair, there have been some genuinely nice things, like finally owning a fursuit (made in collab with a friend and my partner) and having the best time ever while going/vending at two small but cozy furcons, but the rest was... terrible, no way around it.
My overall health is still a major (literaly) pain point that keeps holding me back in everything in life.
The one (in-perspective) positive thing this year was finding out I have yet another chronic condition I was not aware of, since getting treatment for it not only removed a lot of the daily pain but also improved the one I was aware of!
I mean, it took a while for me to adjust, there are some drawbacks and I'm still very much not "okay", but on average the pain has been a step or two lower on the scale and there are improvements, so y'know, a small win with conditions is still a win.
Hopefully I'll be able to return to regular light exercising, as this year I was constantly sick or too in pain to even try to keep the routine. I honestly miss it and how it improved my ability to draw for a longer time.
Mental health could be a lot better as well, and this year has been a rollercoaster given that my living situation is... a thing for sure. Not gonna ramble further about that, but it's rough out here and it made me withdraw from most social situations, because I often just don't have the energy to pretend I'm fine and I don't want to ruin the vibe.
I also started looking for an IRL job in the last third of the year, but so far I only got one interview that went nowhere.
Given the job situation in my country and my overall situation, it's been extremely depressing, but I have no other option than giving it a honest try and save up. Jumping into proper freelancing (in this pos country that hates small businesses, especially online) with no economic safety net and a wobbling health is not something I really wanna risk now, so we'll see about that in a year.
Art-wise, things have gotten better, as I managed to seriously reduce that damned artblock, and now I'm at least able to draw for longer and longer without constant flare ups and while genuinely enjoying it.
Even with all the health mess of this year and not being able to work as much as I would have liked, I still feel like I improved a lot, at least enough to *gasp* like my own stuff again!
Next year I'll still take comms and YCHs every now and then (more on that and website updates at a later date), however I will be mostly focusing on my own OCs, original stories and fanart. I've been pushing the things I love to the side for years, and it's been very detrimental to me, being one of the major causes of this massive and long-lasting artblock.
But yeah, as always, thank you to those who stuck around this far and kept supporting me in even small yet very meaningful ways <3 I would have given up a long time ago without y'all ;v;
