People want to talk to me about kinky stuff? (Pasting this from my main)

I wanna talk about traumagenic kinks, ya'll! But I don't know how! I also want to talk about Endogenic kinks, and the relationship between them, and the overall etiquette?? of roleplay? But to key things in, let's focus on these elements:

Antagonism, sadism, and qualities like permanence send shivers down the spine. Negatively! Positively?? Ambivalently!?! All in varying quantities, too. So how do we handle the boundaries around this?

I don't know, I'm not offering solutions, really. Like I said, I'm here to talk, not reveal the new order. I'd love to hear others' thoughts <3! I personally just really like thinking and talking about these things.

But I am somebody who came into the online space packed full of Traumagenic Kinks. Traumagenic, meaning: I developed it as a response to trauma.

....So what? Right? A kink's a kink, don't make a stink, don't make me think! Right? Yyeaaahhhhh....wellll.....I was a teenager when I started out on DA. Not trying to make this about me, illustrating a point: I was young, naive, and trauma-centric entering the kink realm as an artist who wanted to contribute to a community(and get attentionplzpl0xthanks).


So what this means is: I had a traumagenic attitude about my kinks. ....This was a complex, most often horrible thing for me, and for the people who therefore began to encounter me on my journey across life as a toon artist, because the boundaries I had constructed around a traumagenic attitude were hurting others and myself whenever we engaged in kinkplay. The boundaries I'd subconsciously built were designed to essentially recreate the way my traumatic experience made me feel, in a kinky way: In a secure, trusted, safe environment? Right??

SURE? MAAAYYYBEEE??? But is it a actually safe, secure, and trusted environment if I myself am operating under a traumagenic intention and am essentially Seeking Any Actors Out For My Kinky Stageplay Where I'm The Director and Main Star?. Is it a safe environment between me and my roleplay partner on a 1 on 1 DM Session to roleplay something erotic together under that intention, and I haven't communicated my intention to them because I myself don't even understand it yet?? I really don't know, life is life??

What if it's not erotic, and what if it's actually a large, shared server and I'm just being antagonistic like a cartoon bully? Am I creating a fun, encouraging, playful environment if all I'm doing when I engage with it is twist every picture shared and joke made into something about me? Or if when others were goofing around, I always interjected to be a bully and insult others as a joke? And never quite extended past the boundaries of my little, little game?

After all, every cartoon slapstick needs an antag, and it's the only role I fit into y'know? Lemme just stomp on you some more, please~

Am I....having good etiquette if I do all of that? I did it most of my life, I'm ashamed to say, and happy to laugh at and share for the sake of wisdoms and insights, and the chance that others can take a crack at me and reveal something more maybe.

So what am I even trying to get at?

I'm not trying to create fear and apprehension around social banter and kinky roleplay, rather I am trying to promote more mindfulness about it. Because I really believe a tremendous deal of unnecessary pain, dread, and confusion is caused when people don't pay attention to themselves, the way I didn't.

And I believe a great deal of young artists who enter a kink community often are packed full of traumagenic kinks that they're still in the midst of trying to work through and understand how to express healthily with one another.

Which is why I'm writing this journal, to plead with everyone to be more mindful with themselves, and towards others. Because I would like to discourage the chances of more young artists being encouraged down an uncontrolled self-destructive path of kink-expression just because they meet people who like their art..

And if you want me to offer my solution to this whole etiquette problem?

I EVENTUALLY BEGAN TO practice sharing my feelings and speaking the truth of my desires as kindly as I could while remaining sincere to my personal boundaries, and then waiting for and responding to the response.

MY PERSONAL RULE OF THUMB If a toon can't show me some real feels, or at least make a genuine wildtake at the world news, then I will never share my kinks or playfulness with them.

Across most of my time online I feel like I've caused a tremendous deal of pointless minor and major sufferings... and incurred a great deal of them to myself as well, but perhaps those ones were necessary.



So why do I share this all now? Because I've started DMing D&D, as I call it for myself, Dandy Toons, and in the future that might grow into something much larger, and if it does....I'd like to have at least started encouraging the kind of roleplay environment around myself that I'd like to be within.

And these are thoughts that I believe are supremely important, as a person who has fucked around and found out and now wants to share the wisdom of pain.

Thanks for reading, thanks for being around and dealing with my clownin'.