Welp, I've done all I can. I've done more fiddling with programming in the past 48 hours than the rest of my life combined, I've reinstalled Windows twice, I've replaced the battery, I've replaced the RAM, I've replaced the power cord and power supply, I've put fresh thermal paste on the CPU and GPU, and I've updated, re-downloaded, and rolled back more drivers than I care to think about. Nothing works. At this point, according to Google, the most likely cause is a malfunctioning capacitor or circuit on the motherboard. While I have the technical skill necessary to fix such a thing and the basic tools (soldering iron, solder, solder removal braid, flux), I lack the diagnostic tools to determine which piece actually needs to be repaired, as well as the knowledge of what all these things are called to ensure I actually buy the correct replacement part should I find it. I could take it in to be repaired, but it wouldn't be worth the cost for a frankly outdated machine that was already on its last legs. So that laptop is done, and I'll need a replacement. Something that's going to have a massively inflated cost thanks to Skeletor's tariffs.

As for the life update, as those of you who follow me on Bluesky already know, I lost my job about a month ago. Right around the time the tariffs went into effect. They also contrived reasons to fire most of our other contractors too. My fatal error was having a supervisor who told me to do the wrong thing. My supervisor took responsibility for the mistake and was even written up for it, but I got fired too. Again, since they found reasons to fire almost all the other contractors in the same 2 week period, I'm inclined to believe it's less to do with anything I did and more to do with economic anxiety.

Unfortunately, I'm a biologist, and President Voldemort has pretty much defunded all things science and fired the majority of government scientists. This means that there are now very many people hunting for jobs in a greatly depleted market. It also means that there are tens of thousands of federal workers filing for unemployment, so despite 5 weeks of waiting, my case is still "pending review" and I've yet to get paid. Overall this means that a replacement laptop is unlikely any time in the future unless something extremely lucky happens. A laptop is also not my greatest concern, as I have no income at the moment, so expenses like food, rent, and other basic necessities are also difficult.

Tl;dr Everything sucks and it's all Trump's fault.