Hi again! Time for my June 2025 check-in

I have been reflecting a lot on my life & my past lately. I went through high school during the mid-late 2010s but I don't remember the majority of that time. A series of awful things happened to me around 2015-16 & i think it broke me completely, to a point where I honestly can't remember most of my teens; here & there I do remember something & sometimes that memory remains, sometimes it doesn't, but generally when I try to remember things from 2015-2018 a lot of it is just a blurry hazy mess that I can't make sense of.

The past couple months as I've been working towards a healthier state of mind, I've started unraveling and piecing together those missing years. The memories themselves are still unsalvageable, I'm unsure if I will ever remember what exactly happened during those years beyond just vague, foggy emotions and whatever secondhand accounts my family & acquaintances can give me, but I'm slowly figuring out the kind of person I was, or at least who I was supposed to be before the trauma stopped all my momentum; it feels refreshing, like I have a second chance to do what I was meant to do 10 years ago, & while at this point I feel like I've become entirely disconnected and incapable of doing the things I enjoyed prior to this, it gives me an opportunity to experiment a little & find something new that brings me joy.

I'm a little bit scared of what's to come, and I'm just stumbling in the dark right now, but for a few minutes every couple weeks I feel myself take a step forward & it's incredibly encouraging

I think that's everything I need to say this month, I will check in again in July!