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Slow month for an outlander (check-in #4)
2 months ago
Hi again! I had a hard time thinking of something to write about this time, because it's been a mostly uneventful month. it's been a little shaky since I've lost access to my therapist indefinitely but overall I've been fine.
First off: after going on a lot of dates and not connecting with anyone, I decided maybe I would try dating other women; and that's how I discovered that I might be a lesbian, I feel a lot more like myself when I'm being affectionate or... Intimate, with other women and it's nice to finally be meeting people and not trying to force anything.
Most recently, within the past week or so, the elder scrolls series has been a big part of my life:
I read the oblivion fan comic "prequel," I relate a lot to the main character's self-esteem issues, repeated failures, and spiraling into self abuse, & it feels good to see her slowly get further and happier in the story; if you like TES, particularly oblivion, I recommend reading it.
I've also been playing Morrowind lately because I've heard it's really good despite being so old; it's been strangely comforting & while it isn't as engaging as some other games I play, succeeding in the game is more satisfying. It's so slow paced it feels more grounded and gives me more down time to just focus on the ambience without overthinking; & as silly as it sounds, the fact that your character is completely talentless in the beginning and you need to put in real time to learn to do even basic things like attack an enemy reminds me that nobody starts good at anything, which is something I really struggle with. I doubt it'll be one of my favorite games, but it's a very slow & almost scenic which is something I like a lot in games(some of my favorite games are LiS and the Stanley parable, those are totally different types of games though lol).
I guess the worst thing that's happened this month is when I told my mom in confidence that I'm a lesbian, she told everybody in my family who is mostly homophobic. But I don't really talk to them aside from getting help with medical insurance, and I'm getting my own insurance soon, so in the end it doesn't affect me too badly.
I think that's everything of note that's happened in my life lately, will post another update in a month!
First off: after going on a lot of dates and not connecting with anyone, I decided maybe I would try dating other women; and that's how I discovered that I might be a lesbian, I feel a lot more like myself when I'm being affectionate or... Intimate, with other women and it's nice to finally be meeting people and not trying to force anything.
Most recently, within the past week or so, the elder scrolls series has been a big part of my life:
I read the oblivion fan comic "prequel," I relate a lot to the main character's self-esteem issues, repeated failures, and spiraling into self abuse, & it feels good to see her slowly get further and happier in the story; if you like TES, particularly oblivion, I recommend reading it.
I've also been playing Morrowind lately because I've heard it's really good despite being so old; it's been strangely comforting & while it isn't as engaging as some other games I play, succeeding in the game is more satisfying. It's so slow paced it feels more grounded and gives me more down time to just focus on the ambience without overthinking; & as silly as it sounds, the fact that your character is completely talentless in the beginning and you need to put in real time to learn to do even basic things like attack an enemy reminds me that nobody starts good at anything, which is something I really struggle with. I doubt it'll be one of my favorite games, but it's a very slow & almost scenic which is something I like a lot in games(some of my favorite games are LiS and the Stanley parable, those are totally different types of games though lol).
I guess the worst thing that's happened this month is when I told my mom in confidence that I'm a lesbian, she told everybody in my family who is mostly homophobic. But I don't really talk to them aside from getting help with medical insurance, and I'm getting my own insurance soon, so in the end it doesn't affect me too badly.
I think that's everything of note that's happened in my life lately, will post another update in a month!
I love old games too. They seem to be... more reliable, perhaps. And it doesn't matter what kind of graphics there are, because the atmosphere is most valuable.
Hug! Waiting for new news <3