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⚠️💥ACCIDENT/HEALTH UPDATE for clients and friends! >.
4 months ago
(IF you haven't seen it yet, pls go take a look first!) - PREVIOUS JOURNAL: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11135922/
{ I wrote this message on my phone (notes app), and I'm pasting it hete now, so that's why I added a lot of emojis...}
Hey guys! Kinda MIA here, but it’s because of... well... the situation. Grab your best cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate and pls take some time to read all this update!
🙊🪼 As many of you know, I had an accident back in May and ended up injuring and tearing ligaments in my right knee—right when I was finally putting my life, my depression, and my art back on track... And here I am, still stuck in bed 24/7 to this day.
Still in a lot of pain, but at least the swelling in my knee has improved a lot. I’m starting pre-surgery physical therapy this week and… yeah… I’m scared sh*tless, no other way to put it. But what can I do? The doctor said they won’t operate until my knee and leg get a little stronger first, to help with post-surgery recovery. 🥲💀
Yeah… it’s been… complicated.
And of course, this whole thing triggered some anxiety/panic/depression relapses… That feeling of not being able to trust your own body is just horrible. Standing up and knowing there’s a chance my knee or kneecap could dislocate and deform again at any moment… it’s straight up terrifying. I'm usually a positive person, but it's hard to be positive in this situation, sorry guys :/ >.< '
They say that this specific main ligament I completely tore - the MPFL - is one of the worst when it comes to recovery and psychological impact (often the hardest on mental health), especially because when it dislocates, you can actually see your own knee deformed right in front of you, and the pain is almost unbearable. And knowing that the ligament that used to hold my kneecap in place is no longer there - and that it could dislocate again at any moment with the slightest movement… and feeling all of that again, seeing that scene again… it’s just... awful. I gotta be honest. That image/scene is still playing on a loop in my mind 24/7, and I feel fear, panic, anxiety, terror. I've been having nightmares about it EVERY single day, for a month now... Not kidding.
But I know I need to be strong now - and have a lot of courage to face this new stage: the pre-surgery physical therapy.
⚠️💥
I’m still in this state, but I’ll keep giving you all updates here, on Twitter/FA, and so on. That’s it for now. I’m asking for prayers and/or good vibes.
🥺😳 Thank God I didn’t injure my hands-- my main tools of work. But I did mess up my right shoulder a bit too (on the fall)… I’ll need to get more exams done to investigate that. It’s been giving me some smaller annoying pains too. 🤦♀
But honestly, that’s not even the worst part: it’s having to DRAW from bed… with my laptop on my lap… on top of my injured leg… with my tablet awkwardly balanced on the keyboard (ugh)… and sitting kinda... twisted lol. 😢 It’s exhausting and painful, and I can’t paint for many hours- just a little bit each day.
I'm trying to time-block it like: 70% commission works, 30% personal works so I don't go insane...
⚠️⚠️⚠️ Because of that, I’ve had to adjust the delivery dates for my current art queue, and I’ve been painting a little each day, just like I always did on my art process, but now definitely less than before, obviously. ⚠️⚠️⚠️
🫧💙🥺🎨
- As ART is my ONLY source of income, I’ve opened emergency commission slots, and honestly, every little YCH, chibi or whatever helps A LOT right now. Every orthopedic brace, every expense… it’s been like: $800 here, $550 there… etc etc... Every single thing I need now… it’s all crazy expensive. And there’s still the surgery coming soon... *sigh*. 😞
Yeah… things are rough LOL. My debts keep going higher and higher. 🤕😱😵
So I would appreciate anyone who could get an artwork now to help.
*** So please keep that in mind before getting an artwork! Also, please note that in around 1–2 months from now, I will probably be getting the surgery, and the post-op for this surgery is very complicated, so I will enter a small hiatus before continuing all art progress for all artworks. I might need around a month post-op to feel better again to paint. Or so... I don't know yet. I'll keep you guys updated!
* I'm letting you know this in advance so y'all can plan accordingly and feel less anxious about art progress in general. Thanks!! >.<
| P.S.: 💘⏳🫧If you like faster art options, you can go for flat color, sketches, YCHs, adopts, or chibis. ALL complex artworks are closed temporarily - ref. sheets, comic pages, multiple character commissions (ychs are fine!), etc, for obvious reasons -.
I’ll also leave my ko-fi link for anyone who wants to help with like 3$ or so.
https://ko-fi.com/millleart
I really don't like to ask for things - not even irl, not even in my family - I feel kinda sad, and ashamed - but this is an emergency.
As I get more health exams done, I’ll keep posting some new few pics to prove everything is true. :/
I know that in times like these, sadly, many people lie to scam others online, but PLEASE guys… that’s not the case here… This is all (unfortunately...) VERY real :( 😞 and that’s why I’ll be showing proof.
God, how I wish this wasn’t true… Even after surgery, my knee will never be the same again.
It honestly feels like a stab to the heart, because I’ve always been super active… I love going to the gym… I love dancing!! 😢💔💔
It’ll get better again, but never like it was before. Ugh...
* As I need to adapt to this new... way of living in bed 24/7, for the next months, depending on others to live... I'm thinking of getting a Samsung Tab to paint better, QUICKER and more comfortably while in bed, but still have no funds to do that.... So maybe soon. I set up a ko-fi goal for that...
Put the price actually a little lower than the real price, but the amount would be almost enough to get a good tablet that's not super new in the market, but enough for me to paint while recovering, you guys can look it up prices for the last year's Samsung and Apple tablets in Brazil, it's an absurd, Brazil has abusive taxes for all electronics and our currency is very weak compared to dollars, so everything that's imported - like the electronic parts, and stuff like that, indeed - is very very expensive. Idk hot to explain it in technical terms so I'm doing my best to explain it in my own way. So a tablet that costs like 200$ in the U.S. can easily cost like 1500$-wise over here, which is like 4-6+ months of salary here, which makes it almost impossible during hard times like these. *facepalm*
* I’ll keep updating you, and if you have any questions, feel free to send me a note here on FURAFFINITY!
💙💙💙 Thank you all SO MUCH for your patience, love, and kind words. 💙💙💙[/h3]
It means the world to me.
I've read all of your messages, just didn't had the mental strenght to answer all of them yet, so I'm slowly answering everyone through the weeks... :)
BUT enough bad vibes, I just wanted to update everyone.
Thank you for taking some time to reading it all.
Thank you all for the support 🫧🤕✨❤🥹
You guys are amazing.
As always,
Big hugs & kindest regards,
from your fav - now broken - catto girl-
Millle! <3
{ I wrote this message on my phone (notes app), and I'm pasting it hete now, so that's why I added a lot of emojis...}
Hey guys! Kinda MIA here, but it’s because of... well... the situation. Grab your best cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate and pls take some time to read all this update!
🙊🪼 As many of you know, I had an accident back in May and ended up injuring and tearing ligaments in my right knee—right when I was finally putting my life, my depression, and my art back on track... And here I am, still stuck in bed 24/7 to this day.
Still in a lot of pain, but at least the swelling in my knee has improved a lot. I’m starting pre-surgery physical therapy this week and… yeah… I’m scared sh*tless, no other way to put it. But what can I do? The doctor said they won’t operate until my knee and leg get a little stronger first, to help with post-surgery recovery. 🥲💀
Yeah… it’s been… complicated.
And of course, this whole thing triggered some anxiety/panic/depression relapses… That feeling of not being able to trust your own body is just horrible. Standing up and knowing there’s a chance my knee or kneecap could dislocate and deform again at any moment… it’s straight up terrifying. I'm usually a positive person, but it's hard to be positive in this situation, sorry guys :/ >.< '
They say that this specific main ligament I completely tore - the MPFL - is one of the worst when it comes to recovery and psychological impact (often the hardest on mental health), especially because when it dislocates, you can actually see your own knee deformed right in front of you, and the pain is almost unbearable. And knowing that the ligament that used to hold my kneecap in place is no longer there - and that it could dislocate again at any moment with the slightest movement… and feeling all of that again, seeing that scene again… it’s just... awful. I gotta be honest. That image/scene is still playing on a loop in my mind 24/7, and I feel fear, panic, anxiety, terror. I've been having nightmares about it EVERY single day, for a month now... Not kidding.
But I know I need to be strong now - and have a lot of courage to face this new stage: the pre-surgery physical therapy.
⚠️💥
The hope my doctor gave me is that, probably after a month and a half of physiotherapy, we’ll be able to move forward - finally, with surgery.
I can’t wait — even if it hurts and the post-op recovery is usually tough, I don’t care. I just want to have the surgery soon. I just don’t want to keep living under this constant fear of my knee dislocating again and again...I’m still in this state, but I’ll keep giving you all updates here, on Twitter/FA, and so on. That’s it for now. I’m asking for prayers and/or good vibes.
🥺😳 Thank God I didn’t injure my hands-- my main tools of work. But I did mess up my right shoulder a bit too (on the fall)… I’ll need to get more exams done to investigate that. It’s been giving me some smaller annoying pains too. 🤦♀
But honestly, that’s not even the worst part: it’s having to DRAW from bed… with my laptop on my lap… on top of my injured leg… with my tablet awkwardly balanced on the keyboard (ugh)… and sitting kinda... twisted lol. 😢 It’s exhausting and painful, and I can’t paint for many hours- just a little bit each day.
I'm trying to time-block it like: 70% commission works, 30% personal works so I don't go insane...
⚠️⚠️
⚠️ Because of that, I’ve had to adjust the delivery dates for my current art queue, and I’ve been painting a little each day, just like I always did on my art process, but now definitely less than before, obviously. ⚠️⚠️⚠️
On some days (the bad days) the pain and the panic attacks are just too much and I simply can’t do anything. I need to be real and transparent with all of you about this situation.
- Old arts now have top priority over any new art slots that may come soon.
> ! But ALL of the older commissions to be delivered are already in FINAL TOUCHES STAGE! Some are already finished for a while now and I'll deliver them asap through this next week (06/16 - 06/23). Thanks!!
🫧💙🥺🎨
- As ART is my ONLY source of income, I’ve opened emergency commission slots, and honestly, every little YCH, chibi or whatever helps A LOT right now. Every orthopedic brace, every expense… it’s been like: $800 here, $550 there… etc etc... Every single thing I need now… it’s all crazy expensive. And there’s still the surgery coming soon... *sigh*. 😞
Yeah… things are rough LOL. My debts keep going higher and higher. 🤕😱😵
So I would appreciate anyone who could get an artwork now to help.
Of course, I will be finishing and delivering this month all the old commissions that are on my queue first, before starting to paint any other artwork slots. I'm already finishing all of them together — that's also why it's taking a little extra while, altogether with this whole situation... I want to do justice for my old clients and be honest and transparent. I need to.
*** So please keep that in mind before getting an artwork! Also, please note that in around 1–2 months from now, I will probably be getting the surgery, and the post-op for this surgery is very complicated, so I will enter a small hiatus before continuing all art progress for all artworks. I might need around a month post-op to feel better again to paint. Or so... I don't know yet. I'll keep you guys updated!
* I'm letting you know this in advance so y'all can plan accordingly and feel less anxious about art progress in general. Thanks!! >.<
| P.S.: 💘⏳🫧If you like faster art options, you can go for flat color, sketches, YCHs, adopts, or chibis. ALL complex artworks are closed temporarily - ref. sheets, comic pages, multiple character commissions (ychs are fine!), etc, for obvious reasons -.
I’ll also leave my ko-fi link for anyone who wants to help with like 3$ or so.
https://ko-fi.com/millleart
I really don't like to ask for things - not even irl, not even in my family - I feel kinda sad, and ashamed - but this is an emergency.
As I get more health exams done, I’ll keep posting some new few pics to prove everything is true. :/
I know that in times like these, sadly, many people lie to scam others online, but PLEASE guys… that’s not the case here… This is all (unfortunately...) VERY real :( 😞 and that’s why I’ll be showing proof.
God, how I wish this wasn’t true… Even after surgery, my knee will never be the same again.
It honestly feels like a stab to the heart, because I’ve always been super active… I love going to the gym… I love dancing!! 😢💔💔
It’ll get better again, but never like it was before. Ugh...
* As I need to adapt to this new... way of living in bed 24/7, for the next months, depending on others to live... I'm thinking of getting a Samsung Tab to paint better, QUICKER and more comfortably while in bed, but still have no funds to do that.... So maybe soon. I set up a ko-fi goal for that...
⚠️⚠️ You can find it in here: https://ko-fi.com/millleart ⚠️⚠️
Put the price actually a little lower than the real price, but the amount would be almost enough to get a good tablet that's not super new in the market, but enough for me to paint while recovering, you guys can look it up prices for the last year's Samsung and Apple tablets in Brazil, it's an absurd, Brazil has abusive taxes for all electronics and our currency is very weak compared to dollars, so everything that's imported - like the electronic parts, and stuff like that, indeed - is very very expensive. Idk hot to explain it in technical terms so I'm doing my best to explain it in my own way. So a tablet that costs like 200$ in the U.S. can easily cost like 1500$-wise over here, which is like 4-6+ months of salary here, which makes it almost impossible during hard times like these. *facepalm*
* I’ll keep updating you, and if you have any questions, feel free to send me a note here on FURAFFINITY!
💙💙💙 Thank you all SO MUCH for your patience, love, and kind words. 💙💙💙[/h3]
It means the world to me.
I've read all of your messages, just didn't had the mental strenght to answer all of them yet, so I'm slowly answering everyone through the weeks... :)
BUT enough bad vibes, I just wanted to update everyone.
Thank you for taking some time to reading it all.
Thank you all for the support 🫧🤕✨❤🥹
You guys are amazing.
As always,
Big hugs & kindest regards,
from your fav - now broken - catto girl-
Millle! <3
Good luck, I hope for you the best of recovery 💙
It has been hard, yes, but messages like yours help more than you can imagine...
It's the small messages and kind gestures... the little things... that slowly add up and make all the difference. :3
They give us the strength to keep going.
So again, thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart! 💗🥹
Wishing you all the best as well!