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A friendly reminder
4 months ago
On my personal quest to be less... grumpy with and at myself (which is a huge struggle that is way too hard to describe), I want to write this journal in a different way that I usually do. This journal, though written in my voice, isn't for me. It is for those who need to hear it.
When you are sad and lonely, it is ok to not be ok. It's ok to voice that you're not ok, that you need help, that you want to scream into the void. It's ok to cry and scream and kick and wail. As we grow up, we are told time and time again that these behaviors aren't ok and begin the act of denying the most primal act of signaling distress. Hell, it is LITERALLY the most instinctual thing we have ever and will have done as it is the first behavior we have when we are born. The only difference between then and now is that we have the ability to tell people what's causing us distress. Talking when you're hurting is the most challenging thing we have to do. For many people, we don't even know how to explain what the problem is. We tell ourselves things like "It's embarrassing" "it's stupid" "it's not important" and then justify downplaying or dismissing it with things like "I don't want to be a burden" and "Its something I have to handle on my own". While it is ok to voice that you're not ok, you are only doing yourself so much harm by dismissing it.
As someone who has found themselves in that place a lot, I recognize the challenges of both being in that place and seeing others in it. My biggest struggle always boils down to a question: "How can I help them escape this place?". That intense state of being trapped, damned if I do and damned if I don't, honestly has done me so much more harm than it will ever do good. When I see people hurting, I instinctually want to help. The help that I instinctually try to offer can and has caused harm more than good, though. Recognizing that has been a challenge because I cannot take away the bad feelings. It is important for people to have feelings, good and bad. I, nor anyone, can or should try to take them away. All we can do is help to make the bad feelings hurt less until they stop hurting.
To that end, this journal serves as an open reminder to my friends and those who need to hear it: No matter what, I'll be here if you need me. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I'll offer mine. Need someone to just banter with or vent? I got two big ears with tassels that will hear you out and distract you with jangly tuft-beads. Need a hug that lasts as long as needed? I will give you both arms and my fluffy tail so you can hug something while being hugged.
You got this, ok? If you need to take a break, I'll keep you company until you feel ready to take the next step. Life is a journey, after all. No one said you have to make it all alone.
When you are sad and lonely, it is ok to not be ok. It's ok to voice that you're not ok, that you need help, that you want to scream into the void. It's ok to cry and scream and kick and wail. As we grow up, we are told time and time again that these behaviors aren't ok and begin the act of denying the most primal act of signaling distress. Hell, it is LITERALLY the most instinctual thing we have ever and will have done as it is the first behavior we have when we are born. The only difference between then and now is that we have the ability to tell people what's causing us distress. Talking when you're hurting is the most challenging thing we have to do. For many people, we don't even know how to explain what the problem is. We tell ourselves things like "It's embarrassing" "it's stupid" "it's not important" and then justify downplaying or dismissing it with things like "I don't want to be a burden" and "Its something I have to handle on my own". While it is ok to voice that you're not ok, you are only doing yourself so much harm by dismissing it.
As someone who has found themselves in that place a lot, I recognize the challenges of both being in that place and seeing others in it. My biggest struggle always boils down to a question: "How can I help them escape this place?". That intense state of being trapped, damned if I do and damned if I don't, honestly has done me so much more harm than it will ever do good. When I see people hurting, I instinctually want to help. The help that I instinctually try to offer can and has caused harm more than good, though. Recognizing that has been a challenge because I cannot take away the bad feelings. It is important for people to have feelings, good and bad. I, nor anyone, can or should try to take them away. All we can do is help to make the bad feelings hurt less until they stop hurting.
To that end, this journal serves as an open reminder to my friends and those who need to hear it: No matter what, I'll be here if you need me. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I'll offer mine. Need someone to just banter with or vent? I got two big ears with tassels that will hear you out and distract you with jangly tuft-beads. Need a hug that lasts as long as needed? I will give you both arms and my fluffy tail so you can hug something while being hugged.
You got this, ok? If you need to take a break, I'll keep you company until you feel ready to take the next step. Life is a journey, after all. No one said you have to make it all alone.
