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I am going to IFC alone and I'm devastated over it
2 months ago
My rubber sister cannot in good faith come into this country with all that has happened in the span of just under a year. I can't say I blame her for feeling that way. Who would feel safe when your countrymen and others from your continent are randomly snatched out of line at the airport for no apparent reason other than to be questioned about their political beliefs? What kind of invasion of privacy is this? How does this embody the phrase "land of the free"?
It isn't free anymore. I want out. But I can't. I've whined about that so many times before so I won't do it again. But devastation isn't a strong enough word to describe how I feel. I was looking forward to this so much but apart from the last two years, the universe has seemingly conspired against me from seeing my rubber sister on the terms we've sought for so long.
First it was COVID. We had originally planned to be with one another all the way back since 2019 and then for three long years travel restrictions from a fucking disease kept us apart. We finally got our chance in 2022 and again in 2024. We were supposed to again in 2025, hopefully yearly. But now it's all in question, and what frightens me the most is that at worst there's EIGHT MORE YEARS OF THIS. I literally don't think I could live with myself without seeing her for that long.
I cannot describe this relationship as anything other than magical. There is nothing else like it I've ever experienced in my life. Those of you who read the story attached to this can begin to understand what I mean. I was tearing up when I left her country the first time I went, knowing what I had to return to. And to be potentially robbed of that for up to eight years, you can see why I'm feeling the way I am.
I don't know how I'm going to get through this. With a TON of luck (and I say a ton because with the way things are going in the USA, I'm incredibly pessimistic the treatment of travelers at borders will get any better) she can continue coming back next year. But for now, I'm going to IndyFurCon alone. I was looking forward to this one-on-one experience with her, and now it's going to just be me awkwardly strolling around like I did at Pride and the Renaissance Faire this year. I have nobody to go to these things with; all my friends are abroad and in other states and it's a luxury to see them, but I wish it wasn't.
I have had one person reach out (and I thank them for it) to mingle at the con with me, which is nice, but the point is I'll still be going alone.
I want to cry.
It isn't free anymore. I want out. But I can't. I've whined about that so many times before so I won't do it again. But devastation isn't a strong enough word to describe how I feel. I was looking forward to this so much but apart from the last two years, the universe has seemingly conspired against me from seeing my rubber sister on the terms we've sought for so long.
First it was COVID. We had originally planned to be with one another all the way back since 2019 and then for three long years travel restrictions from a fucking disease kept us apart. We finally got our chance in 2022 and again in 2024. We were supposed to again in 2025, hopefully yearly. But now it's all in question, and what frightens me the most is that at worst there's EIGHT MORE YEARS OF THIS. I literally don't think I could live with myself without seeing her for that long.
I cannot describe this relationship as anything other than magical. There is nothing else like it I've ever experienced in my life. Those of you who read the story attached to this can begin to understand what I mean. I was tearing up when I left her country the first time I went, knowing what I had to return to. And to be potentially robbed of that for up to eight years, you can see why I'm feeling the way I am.
I don't know how I'm going to get through this. With a TON of luck (and I say a ton because with the way things are going in the USA, I'm incredibly pessimistic the treatment of travelers at borders will get any better) she can continue coming back next year. But for now, I'm going to IndyFurCon alone. I was looking forward to this one-on-one experience with her, and now it's going to just be me awkwardly strolling around like I did at Pride and the Renaissance Faire this year. I have nobody to go to these things with; all my friends are abroad and in other states and it's a luxury to see them, but I wish it wasn't.
I have had one person reach out (and I thank them for it) to mingle at the con with me, which is nice, but the point is I'll still be going alone.
I want to cry.
I know it won't change or help much, but I'll happily give all the soft and supportive latexvix-hugs I possibly can Zeta...