Life Changes/ Please Donate/ etc etc -- Uetzcayocoatl's Journal -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

Life Changes/ Please Donate/ etc etc

2 months ago

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 http://ko-fi.com/tanookicatoon

My (Nintendo) Friend Codes

(Nintendo) 3DS FC: 2724 3016 0261 probably not playing anymore

(Nintendo) SWITCH FC: 4706 9028 2214 Currently In Use

END OF THE HEADER

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I forgot to mention that last month I finally moved out of my parent's place, and am now currently rooming with

MitchKenzo and Avereth

Avereth.

Legit just. Mega thank you out to them for helping me out like this.
After getting things settled down, I've finally been able to actually just SIT and like, keep my MIND to myself.

I don't need to get into all the details of like... healing. lol
But like, I've just been able to...
WELL drawing is still hard. My arm still hurts, Bones hurt, They got a stand up desk so I can finally stand to work,
but also now I'm finding out I get tired easy,
the arthritus acts up more than ever, my bones ache when I stand too long...

eugh...

Like. I have been significantly slowed down physically and mentally, but like,
I now have all the time in the world.

Considering that.

I really did basically just run away from home with fucking nothing.

I mean in.
I really was basically being kept at that place as an indentured servant.
I was not allowed to leave. I was barely allowed to do my own drawings to work.
I was baby sitting basically 24/7
dog sitting
house sitting

and no pay. I was not paid... and because I couldn't draw, or even leave for a regular job

i really actually have no money
,

When people took my patreon out a while back, that was really the end of a lot of support.

I was making just over $500 a month. Now I make less than $50.

i had to work hard to get my patreon that far... like at least five years...

so like... seeing how some artists move and all the support just goes with them

and like... it's been this way for like two years still...

having to start over at any point,

i just perpetually feel like i'm in a constant state of starting over and i am still being

i don't know

i dont know

no one cares if you complain

no one seems to care if you beg i dont know i dont know i dont know

i keep doing everything i can and keep doing and keep doing
and i am just tired of it not going where it's been promised.

i've been promised a lot of things for work and I've not been given anything.

I'm tired of regular job this regular job that, when regular job anywhere hasn't gotten me anywhere, and literally the fucking Navy did fuck all for me but being a fucking thing that makes my fucking taxes go up despite me having fucking zero income.

I don't know, I just miss being able to have some fucking burger king once a week without having a landlord want a fucking person who only makes 500$ a month on military school benefits, suddenly pay 3000$ for rent because Texas repealed the rent lock back in 2020 and they just HAVE to get everything they want.

i'm tired.
i'm tired.
I'm tired of so much.

There was a point where I thought eventually I wouldn't have to think about going back
and that shit would eventually rest
the support would help me be an artist and just work on the things I want for fun just because people are actually supporting the art that much and like

The fact that that's NOT happening any more really 100% hurts every single day I make something that feels like it's not being paid for.

Back then I was making rent, having hot showers and sleeping soundly at night.
The "Free posts" felt paid for.

Now it just feels like I'm whoring myself out for attention.

There's just layers of layers of layers of layers of just tired.

Oh right yeah

I'm llike "I can't even be tired when I'm rested"

Obviously i'm thinking. "OH, WOW I just need to go smoke"

Yes. Need help to buy that too,

FUN that the store just down the street has the CHEAPEST I have ever bought...
BUT TEXAS IS WANTING TO REPEAL LEGAL SHIT VERY SOON LOL

I literally can't have shit.

AND DO NOT SUGGEST ANTIDEPRESSANTS
JuSt GeT a PrEScRiPtIoN

I took antidepressants in the Navy, and I literally have it on record, that they caused me to want to commit suicide.
My Doctor did not prescribe weed, but because I can just buy it from the store they let me.

ANY WAY.

I'm letting my emotions get the best of me typing this shit out, I need to go smoke and straighten out my head.

Ya'll fuckin give me your money so I'm not a fucking e-hobo anymore.

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