FA+
Shop
I don't know what I am.
3 months ago
General
Y'all, I'm sorry but I gotta rant for a bit.
I still don't know what the deal with my species identity is and it's making me feel beyond frustrated. I still don't know for sure who I am, no matter how badly I wish I could figure this out.
For context, I've been cycling through fursonas since I was 13. Then two years ago I experimented with the term alterhuman for a bit, before deciding I was a wolf therian. Anxiety and confusion started taking over me and I thought maybe I was overthinking all of this and that I was just a human. And for a while simply identifying as human felt good. Just like therian felt good. Just like alterhuman felt good. Just like being a traditional Furry With A Fursona felt good. But now the uncertainty once again rears its ugly head and once again I'm left questioning who or what I am.
It's so fucking frustrating, y'all. I was planning to at least give "human" a year before even jumping back into using a normal fursona. But do I identify as human because I actually truly feel human on the inside, or because I want to see a world where humans and therians equally coexist? It took me a week to go from "am I a woman?" to "I am a woman". And barring some brief experiments, that hasn't changed. It's so easy to accept myself as a woman. So why can't I approach species with the same ease I approach gender? I'm either confused and anxious as a wolf or bored as a human. I'm envious at how clear-cut it seems to be with other furries. I'm envious at the kind of people who can be like "yeah obviously I'm a wolf". I can't separate happiness from fear. I can't separate peace from complacency. I just want a fucking answer already. I want to know who I am.
How much longer should I wait? Is it too early to go back on everything I said I was certain of and be like "actually I was a therian after all" like a jackass? I'm on the verge of tears right now because I'm just so frustrated with myself for not knowing how to know myself. I hate being like this.
I still don't know what the deal with my species identity is and it's making me feel beyond frustrated. I still don't know for sure who I am, no matter how badly I wish I could figure this out.
For context, I've been cycling through fursonas since I was 13. Then two years ago I experimented with the term alterhuman for a bit, before deciding I was a wolf therian. Anxiety and confusion started taking over me and I thought maybe I was overthinking all of this and that I was just a human. And for a while simply identifying as human felt good. Just like therian felt good. Just like alterhuman felt good. Just like being a traditional Furry With A Fursona felt good. But now the uncertainty once again rears its ugly head and once again I'm left questioning who or what I am.
It's so fucking frustrating, y'all. I was planning to at least give "human" a year before even jumping back into using a normal fursona. But do I identify as human because I actually truly feel human on the inside, or because I want to see a world where humans and therians equally coexist? It took me a week to go from "am I a woman?" to "I am a woman". And barring some brief experiments, that hasn't changed. It's so easy to accept myself as a woman. So why can't I approach species with the same ease I approach gender? I'm either confused and anxious as a wolf or bored as a human. I'm envious at how clear-cut it seems to be with other furries. I'm envious at the kind of people who can be like "yeah obviously I'm a wolf". I can't separate happiness from fear. I can't separate peace from complacency. I just want a fucking answer already. I want to know who I am.
How much longer should I wait? Is it too early to go back on everything I said I was certain of and be like "actually I was a therian after all" like a jackass? I'm on the verge of tears right now because I'm just so frustrated with myself for not knowing how to know myself. I hate being like this.
