Time for a much-needed refresh.
a month ago
General
Hiya. You may be wondering why my gallery's suddenly become so empty. To be clear, I've deleted all but one of my drawings, and have moved all gifts/commissions that I haven't likewise deleted to my scraps (mostly stuff by my wife). Everything I've deleted is still saved on my hard drive, and hasn't necessarily gone away from the public forever. But for now, it's gone.
I've gone through some pretty big life changes relatively recently. I've gotten married to the love of my life and now share a house with her. I've learned that I'm indeed therian, and am as certain of this as I'm certain that I'm transgender. And, more abstractly, I've come to the realization that defining myself by my self-doubt and apprehension has gotten me no closer to happiness. Every good change in my life has come to me in moments where I've allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone. To ask myself difficult questions. To face my fears. To treat myself with the love and patience that I treat others.
I'm 29 now and will be stepping into my 30s next year. And the older I get, the bigger I realize the world really is. The more I realize I have yet to learn. The more control of my fate I realize has always been in my hands, despite how oppressive external forces can be. And no matter how much time I've squandered wallowing in the doubt and fear and trauma, as long as I'm still alive it's not too late to stand up and begin moving forward towards the life I deserve. I'm not defined by my failures, and even less so the nonexistent failures that I allow to keep me trapped in this nadir of my own making. And I will keep telling myself this for as long as is necessary, because truly there is nothing that has caused me more pain than my own fear.
I am worthy of love and happiness, and it's time for me to get up and start my journey forward into the unknown.
"Don't wait for safe, just fall inside
And wisely forgetting to take that treasured stain you've always relied
I wonder what you'll show"
- Josh Dibb
I've gone through some pretty big life changes relatively recently. I've gotten married to the love of my life and now share a house with her. I've learned that I'm indeed therian, and am as certain of this as I'm certain that I'm transgender. And, more abstractly, I've come to the realization that defining myself by my self-doubt and apprehension has gotten me no closer to happiness. Every good change in my life has come to me in moments where I've allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone. To ask myself difficult questions. To face my fears. To treat myself with the love and patience that I treat others.
I'm 29 now and will be stepping into my 30s next year. And the older I get, the bigger I realize the world really is. The more I realize I have yet to learn. The more control of my fate I realize has always been in my hands, despite how oppressive external forces can be. And no matter how much time I've squandered wallowing in the doubt and fear and trauma, as long as I'm still alive it's not too late to stand up and begin moving forward towards the life I deserve. I'm not defined by my failures, and even less so the nonexistent failures that I allow to keep me trapped in this nadir of my own making. And I will keep telling myself this for as long as is necessary, because truly there is nothing that has caused me more pain than my own fear.
I am worthy of love and happiness, and it's time for me to get up and start my journey forward into the unknown.
"Don't wait for safe, just fall inside
And wisely forgetting to take that treasured stain you've always relied
I wonder what you'll show"
- Josh Dibb
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