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Dear Wyla
3 months ago
General
Dear Wyla,
Once upon a time, I was captivated by your work and inspired by you. I wanted to learn and be just like you, but I took it a step too far. November 30, 2021 is when I say I officially started drawing. There are many things I have drawn that i've never posted or did and took down because I was ashamed of my lack of skill. I was struggling and I wanted to be as skilled as you were! I knew it was wrong, though I couldn't tell you why I didn't see the harm in doing so at the time, but did it anyway and traced your reference sheet to use as a base, as well as a couple other small things for close-ups. Even more so, I showed it to you directly, you were none the wiser, so I kept going. I gave you a half-assed apology a long time ago, and it's true that I didn't really mean it, more so being sorry that I got caught. However, after you caught me with Ophelia and confronted me head on, I did feel very guilty and genuinely sick for what I did, because I recognized the damage I caused to you and to myself. I thought about it for days, took a few hours to write my note, and meant every word of that lengthy apology, to which you never responded. To shortly reiterate, I am sorry I gravely disrespected you in such a manner, squandered your lengthy mentorship with all the advice you've given me over the years, and trying to play you for a fool. I was arrogant, took shortcuts, and fucked up in the worst way I possibly could.
In the aftermath, I disabled my account and spent the next month redoing all of the reference sheets, and I admit that they look vaguely similar, but I still love your linework and you're who I learned from there, somewhat aiming to mimic the way you shape characters. Regardless, all the references since that incident onward has absolutely been by own hand. I will also totally admit that I do need to kick the habit of referencing things exactly, coming to the understanding in the last couple months about how references are really meant to work. A few pieces in my gallery are referenced from various sources and pictures of myself directly, as I more or less had a misconception that you draw precisely what you see. As to the most recent allegation, I will not address, confirm, nor deny it, because what has happened has happened, and naturally, followers tend to side with the larger creator and have likely already made up their mind, making any defense I have irrelevant. Although, I wonder how you think I could have referenced or copied a sketch, being that was locked behind your patreon, from which you banned me from. Regardless, if that were the case, last I checked, using something as a reference isn't wrong. That being said, I have temporarily removed the image from my gallery in the interest of avoiding further conflict. (With it being something new to try too, it was awful to look at anyway, so no complaints! Lol.) But I do intend to revise and post it again in the future. What I will address, however, in response to Wyla's thread, is that no way would I ever stoop so low as to trace/steal/copy someone else's work for a profit! At that point, i'd be no better than the AI "artist" grifters.
So, what now? Well, for one, I am going to keep drawing! I have actually been planning to put my commissions on pause so I can draw some things for myself, with an emphasis on trying to understand techniques, study some specific methods, and generally continuing to learn and improve, all rightfully the correct way as I have been. I am also going to take the advice I get to heart and persevere no matter how long something takes. You will see on many of my art posts that I detail how much of, and sometimes what I have learned, from the process of drawing whatever it is. I always tell myself that 'practice makes progress.' I do not believe in perfection and certainly saw myself as a hypocrite when I relentlessly give people advice myself telling them to "be proud of what they can do rather than dwelling on what they can't do." Essentially, there should be no shame in your lack of skill, because the fact that you can even do anything is already better than most other people, and it's constantly learning from that lack of skill which is the entire point! And I think looking back on my old art, cringing at what I was incapable of, is 100% something I didn't want to experience. I sought instant gratification, then fucked around and found out. I am learning, and I simply need to be satisfied with what I can achieve, embracing how far i've come whenever I look back. Since I did what I did, I and others have noted improvements with each new art piece, encouraging me to continue, and to be honest, i'm having a lot of fun! It's a nice, alternative way to relax, and I think I kind of enjoy looking back on what I did before, comparing to the present. Regardless, I learned that being able to confidently say, "I made this!", no matter how terrible, is a good feeling. I intend to keep moving forward, doing my best. Truthfully, maybe I was just afraid of never being good enough, so I tried to cut corners, doing the thing that everyone relentlessly told me not to do, and I subconsciously compared myself to other artists after all; The only artist I ever need to compare myself to is my past self.
Wyla said not to come and harass me, which I appreciate, but I would like to keep this journal open for comments, welcoming anyone to, in civility, criticize me all you like on this journal. In addition, I ask that folks keep this away from my other platforms, as they are in no way associated with my furry stuff; it's just here on FA. I will also mention that I have temporarily blocked Wyla, because with us having histor, I want to avoid more back-and-forth, and/or any further accusations in the near future. I hope you understand, though I have no doubt you'll make posts on your socials anyway. This journal marks september 1st, which is just perfect because that makes it easy to remember, and in one year's time, I hope I can message you, maybe not to receive forgiveness, but start over, in a way.
As I mentioned, currently, I have a lot of personal stuff planned that I have been itching to draw and am very excited to get going on. At this point, considering Wyla's beware on me, I aim to redeem myself from that and show everyone, most of all to you and to myself, Wyla, that I can in fact do it! If anyone would like to give me a watch, or just check in every few months, I would really like the opportunity to show you that I really mean what I say.
Once upon a time, I was captivated by your work and inspired by you. I wanted to learn and be just like you, but I took it a step too far. November 30, 2021 is when I say I officially started drawing. There are many things I have drawn that i've never posted or did and took down because I was ashamed of my lack of skill. I was struggling and I wanted to be as skilled as you were! I knew it was wrong, though I couldn't tell you why I didn't see the harm in doing so at the time, but did it anyway and traced your reference sheet to use as a base, as well as a couple other small things for close-ups. Even more so, I showed it to you directly, you were none the wiser, so I kept going. I gave you a half-assed apology a long time ago, and it's true that I didn't really mean it, more so being sorry that I got caught. However, after you caught me with Ophelia and confronted me head on, I did feel very guilty and genuinely sick for what I did, because I recognized the damage I caused to you and to myself. I thought about it for days, took a few hours to write my note, and meant every word of that lengthy apology, to which you never responded. To shortly reiterate, I am sorry I gravely disrespected you in such a manner, squandered your lengthy mentorship with all the advice you've given me over the years, and trying to play you for a fool. I was arrogant, took shortcuts, and fucked up in the worst way I possibly could.
In the aftermath, I disabled my account and spent the next month redoing all of the reference sheets, and I admit that they look vaguely similar, but I still love your linework and you're who I learned from there, somewhat aiming to mimic the way you shape characters. Regardless, all the references since that incident onward has absolutely been by own hand. I will also totally admit that I do need to kick the habit of referencing things exactly, coming to the understanding in the last couple months about how references are really meant to work. A few pieces in my gallery are referenced from various sources and pictures of myself directly, as I more or less had a misconception that you draw precisely what you see. As to the most recent allegation, I will not address, confirm, nor deny it, because what has happened has happened, and naturally, followers tend to side with the larger creator and have likely already made up their mind, making any defense I have irrelevant. Although, I wonder how you think I could have referenced or copied a sketch, being that was locked behind your patreon, from which you banned me from. Regardless, if that were the case, last I checked, using something as a reference isn't wrong. That being said, I have temporarily removed the image from my gallery in the interest of avoiding further conflict. (With it being something new to try too, it was awful to look at anyway, so no complaints! Lol.) But I do intend to revise and post it again in the future. What I will address, however, in response to Wyla's thread, is that no way would I ever stoop so low as to trace/steal/copy someone else's work for a profit! At that point, i'd be no better than the AI "artist" grifters.
So, what now? Well, for one, I am going to keep drawing! I have actually been planning to put my commissions on pause so I can draw some things for myself, with an emphasis on trying to understand techniques, study some specific methods, and generally continuing to learn and improve, all rightfully the correct way as I have been. I am also going to take the advice I get to heart and persevere no matter how long something takes. You will see on many of my art posts that I detail how much of, and sometimes what I have learned, from the process of drawing whatever it is. I always tell myself that 'practice makes progress.' I do not believe in perfection and certainly saw myself as a hypocrite when I relentlessly give people advice myself telling them to "be proud of what they can do rather than dwelling on what they can't do." Essentially, there should be no shame in your lack of skill, because the fact that you can even do anything is already better than most other people, and it's constantly learning from that lack of skill which is the entire point! And I think looking back on my old art, cringing at what I was incapable of, is 100% something I didn't want to experience. I sought instant gratification, then fucked around and found out. I am learning, and I simply need to be satisfied with what I can achieve, embracing how far i've come whenever I look back. Since I did what I did, I and others have noted improvements with each new art piece, encouraging me to continue, and to be honest, i'm having a lot of fun! It's a nice, alternative way to relax, and I think I kind of enjoy looking back on what I did before, comparing to the present. Regardless, I learned that being able to confidently say, "I made this!", no matter how terrible, is a good feeling. I intend to keep moving forward, doing my best. Truthfully, maybe I was just afraid of never being good enough, so I tried to cut corners, doing the thing that everyone relentlessly told me not to do, and I subconsciously compared myself to other artists after all; The only artist I ever need to compare myself to is my past self.
Wyla said not to come and harass me, which I appreciate, but I would like to keep this journal open for comments, welcoming anyone to, in civility, criticize me all you like on this journal. In addition, I ask that folks keep this away from my other platforms, as they are in no way associated with my furry stuff; it's just here on FA. I will also mention that I have temporarily blocked Wyla, because with us having histor, I want to avoid more back-and-forth, and/or any further accusations in the near future. I hope you understand, though I have no doubt you'll make posts on your socials anyway. This journal marks september 1st, which is just perfect because that makes it easy to remember, and in one year's time, I hope I can message you, maybe not to receive forgiveness, but start over, in a way.
As I mentioned, currently, I have a lot of personal stuff planned that I have been itching to draw and am very excited to get going on. At this point, considering Wyla's beware on me, I aim to redeem myself from that and show everyone, most of all to you and to myself, Wyla, that I can in fact do it! If anyone would like to give me a watch, or just check in every few months, I would really like the opportunity to show you that I really mean what I say.
