Yeah, legitimately. I don't know how to say it or where to say it or who to say it to but I have something to say but I know some people won't like it. What most might not actually know about me is that I've been thinking about joining a martial arts or boxing environment (not for the sport aesthetic) but rather for a hidden truth I can't hold onto forever. Those who know me personally may know me to be submissive. But I'm not sure anyone knows the true extent behind it. If this has to be a "coming out", so be it. I've had ideations that maybe I'm more than just submissive. I've had my moments where I felt "masochistic". I just don't know how to express it in a comfortable manner. How is this relevant to me thinking about a sports environment you might ask. With these masochistic thoughts/feelings I've been having. There have been times I wanted to go down to that environment and basically be used as a sort of "punching bag" by the (adult) students there (with their consent, of course). The reason this is prominent is because it's not about going to that type of place just to get my face punched. While that seems nice, I was thinking something.... else. You know how sports usually ban hits "below the belt" because of safety concerns? This ban makes me feel "left out" in a sense and I don't know what to do about it. As masochistic as I believe I am, I feel that, while I do need a place to at least express that side of me. The truth is: I don't know where to start. I don't know where to look if that's the experience I'm looking for. I'm sure it would help the students get more experience as they brutalized my "area". But I have that feeling I would just be told to leave if I even dared mentioned what I was truly looking for.

Maybe you or someone you know has had this experience? Please let me know the best course of action and what steps were taken before you or they went and did it.