This may be the earliest it's ever happened, technically before the end of summer. I had a nightmare with shooting and kiling and my dreams are always indistinguishable from reality. it was horrible.

i am right now trying to do the mental forced march to just do thethings i have to, emotionless and machinelike.

I wish I stayed in Asheville. I wish i had gone through the hurricane. i would at least have been independent.

i'm sorry. I am descending into the dark again. I am pretty sure that I need to permanently move south and have southern and northern homes, because winter and cold is immediately directly harming my mental health.