I'm going away, just for a little bit. Until Monday.

Originally this was going to be a little celebration holiday where I can put my course behind me having completed it, throw away adult me for a few days and be small...

I havent finished my course yet. All sorts of shenanigans happened, I'll spare you the details of various establishments messing me around, and basically I am 2 hours away from completion, so next week if both my clients turn up I will finally have almost all of the ingredients to pass the course. (Still need a supervisor report) but anyway that's just the way that's happened and thats kinda out of my control.

So yeah this little holiday was supposed to be a goodbye adult me for a few days so it's a little preemptive but I'm really looking forward to just forgetting about reports and counselling paperwork and yadda yadda for a couple of days.

That does mean that I'm AFK on Friday though (im not taking my laptop with me cause im too small for that) so No shine on Friday. You can read extra pages on my website for free (you need to sign up for an account but its free to do so) Its about 3 pages of shine ahead free on there https://squiggles.ikklespace.net/ the other comics are all ahead on there for free too, and if you want the $10 sub then it gets you even more ahead pages. Theres also art perks at higher tiers. I havent managed to do much in the way of opening main commissions here this year mostly due to my coursework and counselling client workload but with that all finally finally winding down I am gong to start having more time for art which excites me quite a bit. So hoping in the next couple of weeks to start ramping up my productivity here.

I am really looking forward to some small time though, I got a litle bit of small time back in March and other than that I havent had any this year and I def feel like I've been running on empty for months and months so hoping to maybe just reconnect with that bit of me a little. I dont know about you but it often feels like a super power to me, that when my small side gets validation it's like a powerup, like after having quality small time I can tackle anything, suddenly im crazy productive and focused and like could take on the world and win. Throughout my three years on my course I felt if I got too bogged down in stuff I could just get some little time and that would help me tackle anything too heavy but actually none of that happened, if anything I had even less little time, like almost non existent so a lot of the course I kinda struggled through, but I got through it without that power up. So I guess that proved to me that I can do things without that...but truthfully it would have been so much easier if i could have had some.

Ive been trying to work with my own therapist about how I could give that to myself, how I could look after little me by myself, the problem with me though is my little side struggles to exist without a caretaker person and that person cant be me, because i feel a large part of why Im a little was because i was neglected my caretakers didnt want very much to do with me so I kinda had to fend for myself a lot, so trying to look after little me by myself feels very much just like my real childhood and I dont really wanna go there. So I feel a bit stuck when it comes to small me, and it's okay to be stuck, it's what it is, but I havent really worked out a solution to how to nurture that part of me by myself, i'm sure I'll get there but it's eluding me right now.