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UFFL 2024 Week 1 results!
a day ago
Week 1 is in the books!
Marty here, and here is the detailled results for Kickoff weekend in the UFFL:
Baltimore at Downriver
It’s the first game of the season, and we already get a matchup between two powerhouse quarterbacks in Jillian St. Claire and Lillian Newman. Baltimore gets the scoring started with a field goal, but Newman fires back with a 55 yard strike to Renato Hanna for a touchdown. Unfortunately, that flash of brilliance would be all that we’d see from Newman for a while. She’d cough up the ball twice on sacks, and the Ponies would score on both turnovers to take a 30-7 lead at halftime. The Waves would look a lot better in the second half, especially the defense, holding Baltimore to 3 points. But the damage had already been done. Newman got it back to a one-score game, but there wasn’t enough time left on the clock for another drive. Final score: BAL 33, DWN 25
Chicago at California
In contrast to our first game, this one was a close, defensive effort. Kiedo Masquarde may have beaten out the incumbent Elise Beaumont during the preseason, but he didn’t look sharp today, completing less than half of his passes for only 129 yards. Darius Smith, on the other hand, was slinging the ball all over the field, going 33/44 for 281 yards and two touchdowns, only two completions fewer than his career high. With that sort of stat line, and with the Outlaws outgaining the Demons by more than 150 yards overall, you’d have expected Chicago to get a double digit win. However, the team seemed unable to convert yardage into points, going 3/14 on third down. A third of Smith’s total yards came on the final drive of the game. Down by two with only 2:16 left to play and pinned at their own five yard line, Smith put the team on his back, completing ten consecutive passes to drive down into field goal range. Thalia Perez made the chip-shot field goal to steal the game from the Demons. Final score: CHI 17, CAL 16
Austin at Colorado
Wait, what year is it again? Last year veteran QB Aspen Redfield had his best season since 2016, when he was with Baltimore. This year it seems he’s picked up right where he left off, throwing for four touchdowns in a rout of the Blues. The Crushers scored 21 unanswered points to start the game on three Jeordie Khalil receptions, a career high for the third-year wideout. Veteran receiver Larry Napier, who plays mostly on special teams, would add two more TDs in the second half, his first touchdowns since 2020. On the other side of the ball, Kai Koa managed to keep the Blues in the game for at least a little while with three touchdown passes of his own. But the offense was constantly stymied by the Crushers, only converting a single third down all game. They were also undisciplined, racking up 12 penalties, including two roughing the passer penalties on the same drive. Final score: COL 38, ATX 21
Easton at Nashville.
Well, this one is really a tale of two halves. After an opening drive touchdown by Dallas Larkin put the Tuts up 7-0, the remainder of the first half was all Bald Eagles. Rookie Java Jenkins scored twice, once rushing and once receiving, and Easton went into halftime with a three-score lead. Unfortunately for Easton, however, Roman Oliviera came out of the locker room a different player. He completed touchdown passes to three different receivers with only two incompletions in the second half to put Nashville up by four. They could have been up by even more, but kicker Kris Clueton missed two field goal attempts. Easton still had multiple chances to regain the lead, but Draco Lindwurm threw interceptions on consecutive possessions, and Bubba Deezen had a 35 yard rush into the end zone to salt the game away. Final score: NSH 35, EAS 24
North Florida at Grand Rapids
Earlier I called the CHI/CAL game a defensive effort. I was wrong. THIS is a defensive effort. You want to know how bad the offenses were in this game? An offensive tackle was the player of the game. Granted, that player was Pro Bowl tackle Brandon Cormier, who set a league record today with an unbelievable TWENTY TWO pancakes. Dragons defensefurs were running into him like a brick wall all game. But even with that titanic effort, Caryn Becker still got sacked four times, and their run game couldn’t get anything going. 112 yards on 26 carries doesn’t look all that bad in the box score, but almost half of that came on a single 50-yard run by Tyler Wirl in the fourth quarter. Despite that play helping to set up 1st and goal from the 1, the Renegades were unable to convert and had to settle for a field goal. That ended up costing them the game, as that left them down by eight with 4:28 left to play. They actually managed to get the ball back and scored with 21 seconds left, their first touchdown of the game. But they failed to convert the two-point try, and Grand Rapids recovered the onside kick. The Dragons thereby pulled off an unlikely win with only 160 yards of total offense, the fewest yards in a win in league history. Final score: GRD 14, NFR 12
Miami at Richmond
Okay, someone’s fucking with me. This box score isn’t real. Did Nancy put you up to this?
….Well, hot damn.
833 yards of combined offense. In a game involving the Richmond Flames. The football gods definitely saved the best game this week for last. We have to start with your offensive player of the week, Royce Jackson. Last year’s number one overall pick set a team record with 198 rushing yards, including a 74 yard run for a touchdown in the first quarter, the first of his three scores on the ground. Receiver Chris Davis also continued his Pro Bowl level play from last year with eight catches for 117 yards and a score on nine targets. On the other hand, this year’s number one pick, Marc-Edouard Carpentier, didn’t look so good, throwing three picks before leaving the game with a shoulder injury after being sacked in the fourth quarter.
Fortunately for his young career Darnell Paige didn’t look any better, throwing a pick of his own and completing fewer than half of his passes. The Flames also had 13 accepted penalties for 117 lost yards, which almost single-handedly kept the Tropics in this game. Quarterback Will Hudson set Miami team records for passing attempts and completions, but also had two turnovers (a pick and a fumble) of his own. The game ultimately came down to a series of lucky plays. Paige’s pick came late in the fourth quarter with the game tied, setting up Miami at midfield with four minutes to play. By the two minute warning they’d pushed their way into the red zone, looking to burn as much time off the clock as possible before kicking the go-ahead field goal (or preferably scoring a touchdown to go up seven). A sack on third down took them back to the 21, only for Tracy Windhurst to shank a 38-yard field goal attempt wide right. That gave Richmond the ball back with about a minute to play, but with all three time-outs. They converted a fourth and inches at midfield, but it looked like they’d been stopped short of easy field goal range with the clock running and no time to get set to spike the ball. That is, until defensive tackle Ivory McLain got flagged for taunting after the play. That not only stopped the clock, but moved the ball to the 22 yard line. Kieran Hamilton lines up for a 39-yard attempt, the kick is up…and it’s good! Richmond wins!! Final score: RIC 32, MIA 29
Montreal at New Orleans
Theodore Dupre, the second overall pick in this year’s draft, starts his UFFL career with an unenviable task: facing the Montreal Royal in their first game after failing to become the first team to three-peat the FurBowl. At first, he held his own admirably. His first two passes were big chunk plays, and Leone Lopez ran one in from 25 yards out to give the Corsairs the early lead. By the end of the first quarter, New Orleans was up by 13, though they were held to just a field goal after intercepting Appleby deep in Montreal territory. Unfortunately, this just seemed to piss the Royal off. Appleby would pick himself up and throw for three touchdowns, including Vito Ligustica’s first receiving TD since 2020. Ligustica would add another score on the ground, and Montreal would cruise for an easy victory. Despite only passing for 146 yards, Dupre looked good in the pocket. For the most part he was on-target, with the majority of his incompletions being drops or passes broken up by defenders, and he only got sacked once. Final score: MTL 34, NOC 16
New York at Las Vegas
Las Vegas Bandits star QB Sylvester Stapler got benched in the fourth quarter with his team only up by three. That’s all that anyone is going to be talking about for this game, which the Bandits would go on to win. Right after Stapler threw that incomplete pass at Milano as they're coming off the field during the quarter break, he would wobbles a bit as he felt awkwardly as he was brought down after the pass.The neutral medical consultant buzzes down for him to be taken into the blue tent for a concussion check. He's cleared, as he was probably bad whiplash or spasms. But he did not re-enter the game following the check as precaution from coach Francesco Erinina because the next time they have the ball there's only three minutes left and they're trying to run out a 7 point lead. Backup Vern McCauley completed the drive for a touchdown, and the defense got a stop to hold off the Defiant for the win. Final score: LVB 27, NYD 20
Players of the Week
Offensive: Royce Jackson (RB – RIC): 198 rushing yards, three rushing touchdowns
Defensive: Cristian Mayberry (LB – RIC): 12 tackles (1 for loss), two forced fumbles and a fumble recovery
Special Teams: Clem Cooper (P – GRD): ten punts for 435 total yards, with six inside the 20
See you for week 2!
Marty here, and here is the detailled results for Kickoff weekend in the UFFL:
Baltimore at Downriver
It’s the first game of the season, and we already get a matchup between two powerhouse quarterbacks in Jillian St. Claire and Lillian Newman. Baltimore gets the scoring started with a field goal, but Newman fires back with a 55 yard strike to Renato Hanna for a touchdown. Unfortunately, that flash of brilliance would be all that we’d see from Newman for a while. She’d cough up the ball twice on sacks, and the Ponies would score on both turnovers to take a 30-7 lead at halftime. The Waves would look a lot better in the second half, especially the defense, holding Baltimore to 3 points. But the damage had already been done. Newman got it back to a one-score game, but there wasn’t enough time left on the clock for another drive. Final score: BAL 33, DWN 25
Chicago at California
In contrast to our first game, this one was a close, defensive effort. Kiedo Masquarde may have beaten out the incumbent Elise Beaumont during the preseason, but he didn’t look sharp today, completing less than half of his passes for only 129 yards. Darius Smith, on the other hand, was slinging the ball all over the field, going 33/44 for 281 yards and two touchdowns, only two completions fewer than his career high. With that sort of stat line, and with the Outlaws outgaining the Demons by more than 150 yards overall, you’d have expected Chicago to get a double digit win. However, the team seemed unable to convert yardage into points, going 3/14 on third down. A third of Smith’s total yards came on the final drive of the game. Down by two with only 2:16 left to play and pinned at their own five yard line, Smith put the team on his back, completing ten consecutive passes to drive down into field goal range. Thalia Perez made the chip-shot field goal to steal the game from the Demons. Final score: CHI 17, CAL 16
Austin at Colorado
Wait, what year is it again? Last year veteran QB Aspen Redfield had his best season since 2016, when he was with Baltimore. This year it seems he’s picked up right where he left off, throwing for four touchdowns in a rout of the Blues. The Crushers scored 21 unanswered points to start the game on three Jeordie Khalil receptions, a career high for the third-year wideout. Veteran receiver Larry Napier, who plays mostly on special teams, would add two more TDs in the second half, his first touchdowns since 2020. On the other side of the ball, Kai Koa managed to keep the Blues in the game for at least a little while with three touchdown passes of his own. But the offense was constantly stymied by the Crushers, only converting a single third down all game. They were also undisciplined, racking up 12 penalties, including two roughing the passer penalties on the same drive. Final score: COL 38, ATX 21
Easton at Nashville.
Well, this one is really a tale of two halves. After an opening drive touchdown by Dallas Larkin put the Tuts up 7-0, the remainder of the first half was all Bald Eagles. Rookie Java Jenkins scored twice, once rushing and once receiving, and Easton went into halftime with a three-score lead. Unfortunately for Easton, however, Roman Oliviera came out of the locker room a different player. He completed touchdown passes to three different receivers with only two incompletions in the second half to put Nashville up by four. They could have been up by even more, but kicker Kris Clueton missed two field goal attempts. Easton still had multiple chances to regain the lead, but Draco Lindwurm threw interceptions on consecutive possessions, and Bubba Deezen had a 35 yard rush into the end zone to salt the game away. Final score: NSH 35, EAS 24
North Florida at Grand Rapids
Earlier I called the CHI/CAL game a defensive effort. I was wrong. THIS is a defensive effort. You want to know how bad the offenses were in this game? An offensive tackle was the player of the game. Granted, that player was Pro Bowl tackle Brandon Cormier, who set a league record today with an unbelievable TWENTY TWO pancakes. Dragons defensefurs were running into him like a brick wall all game. But even with that titanic effort, Caryn Becker still got sacked four times, and their run game couldn’t get anything going. 112 yards on 26 carries doesn’t look all that bad in the box score, but almost half of that came on a single 50-yard run by Tyler Wirl in the fourth quarter. Despite that play helping to set up 1st and goal from the 1, the Renegades were unable to convert and had to settle for a field goal. That ended up costing them the game, as that left them down by eight with 4:28 left to play. They actually managed to get the ball back and scored with 21 seconds left, their first touchdown of the game. But they failed to convert the two-point try, and Grand Rapids recovered the onside kick. The Dragons thereby pulled off an unlikely win with only 160 yards of total offense, the fewest yards in a win in league history. Final score: GRD 14, NFR 12
Miami at Richmond
Okay, someone’s fucking with me. This box score isn’t real. Did Nancy put you up to this?
….Well, hot damn.
833 yards of combined offense. In a game involving the Richmond Flames. The football gods definitely saved the best game this week for last. We have to start with your offensive player of the week, Royce Jackson. Last year’s number one overall pick set a team record with 198 rushing yards, including a 74 yard run for a touchdown in the first quarter, the first of his three scores on the ground. Receiver Chris Davis also continued his Pro Bowl level play from last year with eight catches for 117 yards and a score on nine targets. On the other hand, this year’s number one pick, Marc-Edouard Carpentier, didn’t look so good, throwing three picks before leaving the game with a shoulder injury after being sacked in the fourth quarter.
Fortunately for his young career Darnell Paige didn’t look any better, throwing a pick of his own and completing fewer than half of his passes. The Flames also had 13 accepted penalties for 117 lost yards, which almost single-handedly kept the Tropics in this game. Quarterback Will Hudson set Miami team records for passing attempts and completions, but also had two turnovers (a pick and a fumble) of his own. The game ultimately came down to a series of lucky plays. Paige’s pick came late in the fourth quarter with the game tied, setting up Miami at midfield with four minutes to play. By the two minute warning they’d pushed their way into the red zone, looking to burn as much time off the clock as possible before kicking the go-ahead field goal (or preferably scoring a touchdown to go up seven). A sack on third down took them back to the 21, only for Tracy Windhurst to shank a 38-yard field goal attempt wide right. That gave Richmond the ball back with about a minute to play, but with all three time-outs. They converted a fourth and inches at midfield, but it looked like they’d been stopped short of easy field goal range with the clock running and no time to get set to spike the ball. That is, until defensive tackle Ivory McLain got flagged for taunting after the play. That not only stopped the clock, but moved the ball to the 22 yard line. Kieran Hamilton lines up for a 39-yard attempt, the kick is up…and it’s good! Richmond wins!! Final score: RIC 32, MIA 29
Montreal at New Orleans
Theodore Dupre, the second overall pick in this year’s draft, starts his UFFL career with an unenviable task: facing the Montreal Royal in their first game after failing to become the first team to three-peat the FurBowl. At first, he held his own admirably. His first two passes were big chunk plays, and Leone Lopez ran one in from 25 yards out to give the Corsairs the early lead. By the end of the first quarter, New Orleans was up by 13, though they were held to just a field goal after intercepting Appleby deep in Montreal territory. Unfortunately, this just seemed to piss the Royal off. Appleby would pick himself up and throw for three touchdowns, including Vito Ligustica’s first receiving TD since 2020. Ligustica would add another score on the ground, and Montreal would cruise for an easy victory. Despite only passing for 146 yards, Dupre looked good in the pocket. For the most part he was on-target, with the majority of his incompletions being drops or passes broken up by defenders, and he only got sacked once. Final score: MTL 34, NOC 16
New York at Las Vegas
Las Vegas Bandits star QB Sylvester Stapler got benched in the fourth quarter with his team only up by three. That’s all that anyone is going to be talking about for this game, which the Bandits would go on to win. Right after Stapler threw that incomplete pass at Milano as they're coming off the field during the quarter break, he would wobbles a bit as he felt awkwardly as he was brought down after the pass.The neutral medical consultant buzzes down for him to be taken into the blue tent for a concussion check. He's cleared, as he was probably bad whiplash or spasms. But he did not re-enter the game following the check as precaution from coach Francesco Erinina because the next time they have the ball there's only three minutes left and they're trying to run out a 7 point lead. Backup Vern McCauley completed the drive for a touchdown, and the defense got a stop to hold off the Defiant for the win. Final score: LVB 27, NYD 20
Players of the Week
Offensive: Royce Jackson (RB – RIC): 198 rushing yards, three rushing touchdowns
Defensive: Cristian Mayberry (LB – RIC): 12 tackles (1 for loss), two forced fumbles and a fumble recovery
Special Teams: Clem Cooper (P – GRD): ten punts for 435 total yards, with six inside the 20
See you for week 2!
