I'm finally learning to have fun drawing, yay! Also, after a long time, I feel like people genuinely like my art or care about it. Before, I was thinking every compliment or comment was just people trying to be polite. It's weird, like not being able to acknowledge compliments genuinely. Also, I bought a new tablet, woo hoo. I'm brokieeeee.
also i had been thinking that ive been finding nsfw art boring as most feral common poses i have tried, and so im comfortable with alot of poses now, so from technical standpoint i got bored with it to some extent since making pose is supppper big part of drawing ;3 and details are just the other half of the process, but ive realised im falling into my old habbits of simply drawing the most basic thing i see, so character with dick or pussy, without any implied story, anything unique, it falls flat since it is simply me practising technicalities of drawing without giving any thought into what idea im drawing, so it makes nsfw art feel flat, also ive been gooning too much to pics without even thinking about any idea of whats behind them, its like.... scrolling youtube shorts, you dont think, you just do, and i think it projects into how i feel about drawing that stuff.
Also, I realized I'm still sliiiiightly perfectionistic, so I don't draw quickly because I feel like if im to start drawing i must draw something good in one session, and I'm not think im at peace with the thought of drawing something that I see flaws in and leaving it be as a finished drawing it feels wrong. And here I thought I completely took care of my perfectionism like a year and a half ago, Oh well. fun thing is that these things, just by trying to realise that those thoughts are wrong, anyone can get rid of sooooo many mental blocks that can impact productivity or fun in certain activities. I find it so interesting

Also, I think I'm scared of posting low-quality drawings, like flawed drawings. I feel like it will just make my gallery more uhhh messy, but its not just that, im scared of the judgement of others, like I'm scared of saying weird, horny stuff, and also I'm scared of posting bad art, I feel like, so I will do that to get used to it, I think. After all, I'm me, if people dont want to see me for me then so be it, I shouldn't change myself so others arent upset with me or like me more

Also I've quit league, my accouunt with soooo many skins, i gave it away to a friend, league is really vile game, stole so much of my time
Also i think ill be just journaling my mind here :3 after all my fa serves more or less as way to see when i drew what in past and how i tought at the time and keeping journals in here rather than under description is nice n tidy