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How do I open up & share after years of being silent & alone
a month ago
General
Cutting to the chase. I’m old.
I’m going to be turning 49 later this month. But also bad about sharing things about myself. I have friends who will try to do things for their birthdays and will try to support and celebrate with them.
But when it comes to me, I just hide away. I have a hard time being the center of attention. It makes me feel like shit. But also knowing that I’m pushing friends away also makes me feel like shit.
Sorry, I can’t complete my thoughts since even typing what I have has gotten me down again.
But also I want to say I don’t really want anything or expect anything. Again, that kind of attention or effort made for me I hate and makes me feel bad that I’m unworthy for it.
I’m going to be turning 49 later this month. But also bad about sharing things about myself. I have friends who will try to do things for their birthdays and will try to support and celebrate with them.
But when it comes to me, I just hide away. I have a hard time being the center of attention. It makes me feel like shit. But also knowing that I’m pushing friends away also makes me feel like shit.
Sorry, I can’t complete my thoughts since even typing what I have has gotten me down again.
But also I want to say I don’t really want anything or expect anything. Again, that kind of attention or effort made for me I hate and makes me feel bad that I’m unworthy for it.
The hardest block in any of this is your self it sounds like. it is a problem with every age group that they would feel bad about having attention or have people do stuff for them, but I do think one of the best feelings people can have is when you do stuff for others. and so I think your friends would love to do stuff for you. I do think if being the center of attention makes you feel bad maybe just doing a smaller gathering over a whole party. Like ordering food and spending time at your place or just going out together. Being alone gets worse when you get older so try to do more stuff in a group while you can.
xerxesthewolfgon
~xerxesthewolfgon
indeed that can be the worst thing to do to yourself. i also do that myself at times but a couple of friends of mine take me out to eat or get stuff from the store so i know how you feel on that topic
BlueEyedWolf
~blueeyedwolf
Awww *Hugs*
