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Idle
6 years ago
General
Yes, another WulfBane journal lamenting my depression.
I posted in a group chat “No motivation. Purely obligation to almost nothing.” I initially meant it to how much I’ve dropped off at the gym the past few months but quickly realized it applies to so many other things for me.
I’m especially seeing it as my work going into Kass has dropped off significantly. I got pretty far in my first push making his head and wings. Then I stopped for a few weeks before spending a week finishing his body. Now I’m in a very slow “getting parts” process for his accordion. There are plenty of chances to try to move forward and actually do something on that or even move to his feet or leather vest while waiting on electronic parts, but instead I’m doing a whole lot of nothing.
And I don’t just mean nothing on Kass. I have been watching as I do a lot of nothing with all the things I should be doing. Things I need to do around my house just to function. I just ignore it and beat myself up in my head while I just sit blankly holding my iPad and have the tv playing. I’m usually not even paying attention to either most of the time. Just occupying space. Idle.
I posted in a group chat “No motivation. Purely obligation to almost nothing.” I initially meant it to how much I’ve dropped off at the gym the past few months but quickly realized it applies to so many other things for me.
I’m especially seeing it as my work going into Kass has dropped off significantly. I got pretty far in my first push making his head and wings. Then I stopped for a few weeks before spending a week finishing his body. Now I’m in a very slow “getting parts” process for his accordion. There are plenty of chances to try to move forward and actually do something on that or even move to his feet or leather vest while waiting on electronic parts, but instead I’m doing a whole lot of nothing.
And I don’t just mean nothing on Kass. I have been watching as I do a lot of nothing with all the things I should be doing. Things I need to do around my house just to function. I just ignore it and beat myself up in my head while I just sit blankly holding my iPad and have the tv playing. I’m usually not even paying attention to either most of the time. Just occupying space. Idle.
