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Things I've learned from watching porn
15 years ago
You can really learn much by watching porn, it's as realistic as life itself.
Gay porn:
* Fat people don't exist.
* You can meet a stranger in an alley and rim him right there, because everyone's assholes are always clean, 24/7.
* A virgin can take a 9 inch long cock without a problem.
* Straight men have no problem giving oralsex or receiving analsex.
* Licking your fingers and then rubbing them on the cockhead is lube enough for an entire intercourse.
* If you surprise someone having sex they will not be angry but instead invite you to join them.
* Everyone orgasms at the same time.
* All black men is hung like a horse.
* Pubic hair is non-existent after year 2000.
* Even garbage men look like models.
* Not talking during sex isn't possible.
Straight porn:
* All women are bisexual.
* Women wear high heels in bed.
* Asian men doesn't exist.
* Ejaculating inside a woman is unheard of.
* Women can rub their long and hard nails on their vagina in a circular pattern at a high speed without shredding it to pieces.
* All the men have erections, flaccid cocks is a myth.
* Women get an orgasm by sucking cock.
* The cries a woman who's having sex is very similar to the ones of a woman getting stabbed to death.
* Women LOVES peeping toms.
* All nurses dress like hookers.
Have I forgotten something?
Now excuse me, I have to rim someone in an alley. Because all men are actually gay and their intestines are always empty.
Gay porn:
* Fat people don't exist.
* You can meet a stranger in an alley and rim him right there, because everyone's assholes are always clean, 24/7.
* A virgin can take a 9 inch long cock without a problem.
* Straight men have no problem giving oralsex or receiving analsex.
* Licking your fingers and then rubbing them on the cockhead is lube enough for an entire intercourse.
* If you surprise someone having sex they will not be angry but instead invite you to join them.
* Everyone orgasms at the same time.
* All black men is hung like a horse.
* Pubic hair is non-existent after year 2000.
* Even garbage men look like models.
* Not talking during sex isn't possible.
Straight porn:
* All women are bisexual.
* Women wear high heels in bed.
* Asian men doesn't exist.
* Ejaculating inside a woman is unheard of.
* Women can rub their long and hard nails on their vagina in a circular pattern at a high speed without shredding it to pieces.
* All the men have erections, flaccid cocks is a myth.
* Women get an orgasm by sucking cock.
* The cries a woman who's having sex is very similar to the ones of a woman getting stabbed to death.
* Women LOVES peeping toms.
* All nurses dress like hookers.
Have I forgotten something?
Now excuse me, I have to rim someone in an alley. Because all men are actually gay and their intestines are always empty.
Well, Ok, it is a bit 8=P
AWH, AWH, AWH, AH, AH, AWW YEAH, YEAH
"shut the fuck up already geez"
And when it comes to talking during sex.. Some sounds now and then is ok during intercourse, but having a partner who moans, grunts, cries, shouts, talks, whimpers and yells must be the recipe for insanity. I think that is why so many people get suffocated with pillows, they couldn't shut up during the act. To hear "TIGHTEN THAT ASS" 43.000 times can make everyone go a little crazy. You have the Mute Murdoch type and the Talkative Tranny type.