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The final countdown meme
15 years ago
Ten things I wish I could say to people:
1. Let me help you hide the body.
2. It's only a flesh wound.
3. Wait, aren't you Tom Savini?
4. I never liked you.
5. Do you want me to get rid of the experiment?
6. No, your kid isn't adorable. It's ugly as hell.
7. Welcome to my mind.
8. Pardon my clumsiness, but I have never had sex with an alien before.
9. I'm going nuclear.
10. You killed me.
Nine things about myself:
1. I once smashed a table with the back of my head.
2. I'm 6,2" but I feel I'm still short.
3. I have a zombie plan.
4. I'm obsessed with water (rivers, streams, lakes, waterfalls).
5. I speak gibberish when I shower.
6. I don't like eye contact.
7. I love horror movies.
8. I really HATE porcelain dolls.
9. I'm starting to get bald, but my hair is also turning white. I don't know if I will be white haired or bald when I'm 40.
Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Have a brain and an independent mind.
2. Not afraid of playing it rough.
3. Like to have it tidy and organized around the living space.
4. Share my interests in insect life.
5. Make me laugh and smile (that's a sure heartmelter).
6. Being able to make delicious food.
7. Be a loonie that always surprises me with all kind of bizarre and weird stuff.
8. Respecting the elders.
Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Food
2. Zombies
3. Demons/Monsters/Aliens
4. The Apocalypse
5. Water
6. Sex
7. Interdimensional traveling
Six things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Brushes my teeth (good dental health is good mental health).
2. Reads a comic or book.
3. Put on the alarm on my cellphone.
4. Scratches my groin area.
5. Turns off the light.
6. Thinks of one or more of the seven things that crosses my mind a lot.
Five places I want to visit:
1. The Amazonas Rainforest
2. USA
3. Australia
4. China
5. Antarctica
Four things I'm wearing right now:
1. Shirt
2. Boxers
3. Skin
4. More skin
Three musical artists that I listen to often:
1. Electric Light Orchestra
2. Blue Oyster Cult
3. Jimi Hendrix
Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Publish a book.
2. Travel to outer space.
One confession:
1. I once spermed in the food of someone I didn't like.
I tag you, you, you, you and you. But not you.
1. Let me help you hide the body.
2. It's only a flesh wound.
3. Wait, aren't you Tom Savini?
4. I never liked you.
5. Do you want me to get rid of the experiment?
6. No, your kid isn't adorable. It's ugly as hell.
7. Welcome to my mind.
8. Pardon my clumsiness, but I have never had sex with an alien before.
9. I'm going nuclear.
10. You killed me.
Nine things about myself:
1. I once smashed a table with the back of my head.
2. I'm 6,2" but I feel I'm still short.
3. I have a zombie plan.
4. I'm obsessed with water (rivers, streams, lakes, waterfalls).
5. I speak gibberish when I shower.
6. I don't like eye contact.
7. I love horror movies.
8. I really HATE porcelain dolls.
9. I'm starting to get bald, but my hair is also turning white. I don't know if I will be white haired or bald when I'm 40.
Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Have a brain and an independent mind.
2. Not afraid of playing it rough.
3. Like to have it tidy and organized around the living space.
4. Share my interests in insect life.
5. Make me laugh and smile (that's a sure heartmelter).
6. Being able to make delicious food.
7. Be a loonie that always surprises me with all kind of bizarre and weird stuff.
8. Respecting the elders.
Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Food
2. Zombies
3. Demons/Monsters/Aliens
4. The Apocalypse
5. Water
6. Sex
7. Interdimensional traveling
Six things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Brushes my teeth (good dental health is good mental health).
2. Reads a comic or book.
3. Put on the alarm on my cellphone.
4. Scratches my groin area.
5. Turns off the light.
6. Thinks of one or more of the seven things that crosses my mind a lot.
Five places I want to visit:
1. The Amazonas Rainforest
2. USA
3. Australia
4. China
5. Antarctica
Four things I'm wearing right now:
1. Shirt
2. Boxers
3. Skin
4. More skin
Three musical artists that I listen to often:
1. Electric Light Orchestra
2. Blue Oyster Cult
3. Jimi Hendrix
Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Publish a book.
2. Travel to outer space.
One confession:
1. I once spermed in the food of someone I didn't like.
I tag you, you, you, you and you. But not you.
Confession: did they like you after that?
Yesterday I made some vanilla pudding, want some? :p
...in either case, hell yeah!
A bit sad though, from what you have listed there I could only ever win about 50% of your heart.
A half heart is as good as a whole. Maybe not for the person who need it though, it would be quite messy trying to reconnect the veins and arteries to the rest of the heart. Only Super Mario could do that, he's an expert in plumbing. Was it the insect mania and elders that made you miss? Old people should only be respected if they deserve it, complaining and bitter old people should just be tossed out the window. They're nothing more than wrinkeld garbage. :D
1. Have a brain and an independent mind - I am independently minded but pretty thick
2. Not afraid of playing it rough - 100% on that one... *slaps you round and rapes you*
3. Like to have it tidy and organized around the living space - 20% on that one, I only clean when it becomes unbearable...
4. Share my interests in insect life - 100% - I love creepy-crawlies!
5. Make me laugh and smile (that's a sure heartmelter) - my sense of humour is black and twisted, not "LOL" but I do like genuinely funny stuff (Mel Brookes movies anyone?)
6. Being able to make delicious food - 100% mostly I think - I enjoy cooking for others and think some of the stuff I make can be quite nice. If nothing else I can help you gain weight
7. Be a loonie that always surprises me with all kind of bizarre and weird stuff - 75% as much as I like my safe, comfortable ruts in life I'm definitely not any kind of sane.
8. Respecting the elders - only if they have done something to warrant it. Just for being old? Fuck off and die screaming in a fire.
I think you can win parts of my heart. Or you can do it the easy way and just pour booze down my throat and rape me in an alley. I wonder... Does the Vanguards take no for an answer? I guess alley rape with them must hurt a bit, there's no lube around.
What sort of tax do you have to pay on gratitude?
And like many puddings, Vanguard are "self-saucing" - peculiar feature of their anatomy evolved in order to facilitate breeding when the female sexual organs are a tight fit
Down there:
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So they have a natural lubricant? That's good to know if you're dating a Vanguard and you need some moisture to your lips and is all out of lip balm, just stick your finger down his "sheath", root around and voilá; a finger covered in lib balm ready for use. :p
Gratitude tax is 25% and can be written off your tax returns. It's mostly paid back in kittens or cotton candy, but sometimes you also get a kiss from an insane bag lady. I often wonder what's going on in the offices of the IRS. It must be the place God died and they are harvesting the energy for evil purposes.
If I know you though, you would be rooting around inside a male Vanguard's sheath with your tongue... You interstellar whore
I'll pass on the kiss from insane bag-ladies - they smell of stale pee.
I'm an intergalactic whore, can't deny on that. :p
Somewhat amusing, if not in need of a little editing. And intergalactic whores are always endearing.