Well, Shayshay is back again. Shit's happened, she's depressed and has insomnia, so she reccomends people don't expect her to be too friendly.

Been pushing friends away as a sort of defense mechanism, and also a sub contious punishment. Eventualy I'll tear myself apart. half way there, not long to go!

Been about four months and two weeks since Kitten heard from her love, so lonliness is starting to drill into her...

College is still considering accepting me, because of maths, and i've been tolt it's unlikely I'll get into uni unless I get a good maths grade. i think I dyscalculaya or whatever it is.

Friends seems to be mistaking things I've not done for things I have. I got a phone call from a friend I haven't spoken to in five months saying that my constant bitching and drama has broken her and her boyfriend up, and three friends up. I have never met her boyfriend, nor do I know her friends. Yes, I 'am a drama queen, yes, I bitch alot, but if I haven't seen her in five months, how can I have hurt anyone... i'm confused.

But yes, Kitten isn't the best company right now. i'm sorry to rant and bitch like this. ^_^;

Till next time something makes me happy or shives me deeper into the ground.

Shaybles.