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Breaking News: Poodles Grow On Trees!
15 years ago
General
*I have a magic butt full of gay.
*I saw an ad for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" that said it was the "best movie about chihuahuas ever made". Isn't that a little like saying you've contracted the awesomest case of AIDS ever?
*Leopard, beandip, vulva, Autobot, gazebo, booger, wombat.
*Q: Why did Lewis Carroll go see his urologist?
A: He kept waking up with Tulgey Wood.
*My stream of consciousness is full of little bobbing turds.
*Fat people are smarter because sitting around on our asses all day long gives us more time to think about shit.
*How much w00t could a w00tchuck chuck if a w00tchuck could chuck w00t?
*New word: 'CRUNTS'
When a woman's eating cookies in bed and gets crumbs up her cunt. They become crunts.
*Awesome Racist Stereotype #397:
Black people meow when there's nobody else in the room.
*Booganeebub drombordinganangipran nooroblontz squormingtranton huggoglapperdonkopuvv mantrastelticophornicaitrusessence voondarbamp.
*Debunk: When you get out of a bed that has two levels.
*The journey of a thousand miles begins with a bathroom break. Or else you are really gonna be sorry.
*'There is never any point in time when I am not masturbating. I was masturbating before I was born and I will be masturbating after I die. I masturbated before the universe began and will still be masturbating beyond the end of time.'
*There is simply only one thing you need to know about the movie Shoot 'Em Up. It contains multiple carrot-related homicides.
MULTIPLE. CARROT-RELATED. HOMICIDES.
*Put hat on Pikachu = original character.
*Q: How many internet trolls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None; they just yell upstairs for their moms to do it.
*Q: How many Highlanders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There can be only one!!!
*I want to cum icing so I can decorate cakes by masturbating.
*Here's a helpful household hint: The dishes will not magically do themselves if you stand there yelling at them, 'DAMN YOU, DISHES!! I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!!!'
*Gazelle Meryl Streep Popsicle Fuck Dumpster Quid Pro Quo Ninja Armpit Radioactive Voltron Cupcakes.
*'Hey, did you see that essay about the black guy's penis?'
'tl:dr'
*My dick is made of excellent.
*I saw an ad for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" that said it was the "best movie about chihuahuas ever made". Isn't that a little like saying you've contracted the awesomest case of AIDS ever?
*Leopard, beandip, vulva, Autobot, gazebo, booger, wombat.
*Q: Why did Lewis Carroll go see his urologist?
A: He kept waking up with Tulgey Wood.
*My stream of consciousness is full of little bobbing turds.
*Fat people are smarter because sitting around on our asses all day long gives us more time to think about shit.
*How much w00t could a w00tchuck chuck if a w00tchuck could chuck w00t?
*New word: 'CRUNTS'
When a woman's eating cookies in bed and gets crumbs up her cunt. They become crunts.
*Awesome Racist Stereotype #397:
Black people meow when there's nobody else in the room.
*Booganeebub drombordinganangipran nooroblontz squormingtranton huggoglapperdonkopuvv mantrastelticophornicaitrusessence voondarbamp.
*Debunk: When you get out of a bed that has two levels.
*The journey of a thousand miles begins with a bathroom break. Or else you are really gonna be sorry.
*'There is never any point in time when I am not masturbating. I was masturbating before I was born and I will be masturbating after I die. I masturbated before the universe began and will still be masturbating beyond the end of time.'
*There is simply only one thing you need to know about the movie Shoot 'Em Up. It contains multiple carrot-related homicides.
MULTIPLE. CARROT-RELATED. HOMICIDES.
*Put hat on Pikachu = original character.
*Q: How many internet trolls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None; they just yell upstairs for their moms to do it.
*Q: How many Highlanders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There can be only one!!!
*I want to cum icing so I can decorate cakes by masturbating.
*Here's a helpful household hint: The dishes will not magically do themselves if you stand there yelling at them, 'DAMN YOU, DISHES!! I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!!!'
*Gazelle Meryl Streep Popsicle Fuck Dumpster Quid Pro Quo Ninja Armpit Radioactive Voltron Cupcakes.
*'Hey, did you see that essay about the black guy's penis?'
'tl:dr'
*My dick is made of excellent.
*Guilty of this* I tried not to laugh but I had to, lol.
Sonic the Hedgehog + dayglo color + wings = original character
I pronounced that out loud, just FYI.
Also: The thing about poodles? Old news, man. Old news.
That's totally the whole point! :)
>Also: The thing about poodles? Old news, man. Old news.
Yes but did you know they also grow on CHINESE BEEKEEPERS!?
Black people meow when there's nobody else in the room...... Dammit XD who's spyed on me XD
This totally toads my wet sprocket
A white guy with a really deep tan who was able to pass amongst you unnoticed with a hidden camera in his mustache.
>This totally toads my wet sprocket
I know where that's from, but it still gives me a rather bizarre mental image nonetheless.
At least they're organic and ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY
MAX: "It's a vastly underused avenue of transportation! And look, Sam! Baby alligators!"
SAM: "Well, they're buoyant, and log-shaped, but far from alligators, Max."
MAX: "I don't feel so good."
iNO MAS~!
Dancing dogs just make me think of circuses. Those are pretty kinky too but they're much more suitable for elephant, monkey, and/or clown transformations.
I had an underlying point I was going to make but I forgot it in my sleepy state. If I remember it tomorrow or whenever, I'll come back and post it!
XD XD XD
When a woman's eating cookies in bed and gets crumbs up her cunt. They become crunts.
-Here I thought that was just an intense need for a douche. I guess i can blame her sweet tooth.
*Put hat on Pikachu = original character.
-How about an ekans with a strap-on.
*Gazelle Meryl Streep Popsicle Fuck Dumpster Quid Pro Quo Ninja Armpit Radioactive Voltron Cupcakes.
-Mmmmmm Voltron Cupcakes X3 I'll have a Robeast shake too.
*Q: How many Highlanders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There can be only one!!!
- Until the poorly written sequal.... with alien halogen bulbs
*There is simply only one thing you need to know about the movie Shoot 'Em Up. It contains multiple carrot-related homicides.
MULTIPLE. CARROT-RELATED. HOMICIDES.
- Don't fall for it. Its a tomato conspiracy! The carrots were acting under coercion! Blame the tomatoes!!! You won't win Professor Mortimer Gangreen!
That's just 34.
>Mmmmmm Voltron Cupcakes X3 I'll have a Robeast shake too.
FOOL! REAL MEN EAT DEVASTATOR BLINTZES!!!
>Until the poorly written sequal.... with alien halogen bulbs
I know I've seen that, but all I remember are some dudes with hedgehog heads and a guy on a subway whose eyeballs bulge out.
Oh gods I'm reading it in his voice. They threw in a lot of unrelated random human stuff in the first TF cartoon and used it to keep the TF's and the humans clashing. It would totally be in-series if they had Devastator somehow falling under the sway of a spot-on parody of Chef Ramsey the food critic/restraunt overhauler of the Hell's Kitchen reality-cooking series. It'd be like "Chip builds a robot", but with construction equipment used as soup tureens.
I don't know too much about the original show, but I know enough to know I cannot disagree with this statement.
...and if not, feel free to start! :D
So sayeth the Heavy Metal Loc-Nards.
*I want to cum icing so I can decorate cakes by masturbating.
And another man falls before the might of My Little Pony.
ROTFL! Nice. :)
>And another man falls before the might of My Little Pony.
I swear I've seen MLP dominatrix porn on FA somewhere.
You have. But with the new series, the net might start with apple porn. Or candy porn, but good luck finding _that_ on a search function! :)
Some people have all the luck. My butt is just full of crap.
>Fat people are smarter because sitting around on our asses all day long gives us more time to think about shit.
Hey, I can think of shit, too! Especialy on the the toilet!
You could be Ryan Dunn, and have a toy car in your butt.
>Hey, I can think of shit, too! Especialy on the the toilet!
Mmmmmm, shit. :9
"Don't make me turn this existential journey around, mister!"
Not if you have a really good diaper on ^^
What if you put pikachu on hat?
Now I'm imagining hot Pikachu-on-hat action...
Anyway, very funny, the lot of them, well done.
Please tell me the 'Shoot em' up' thing is true though, I would so go see a movie that had produce related deaths, just for variety.
LMAO! That's a surprisingly plausible explanation. We should call Mythbusters.
>Please tell me the 'Shoot em' up' thing is true though, I would so go see a movie that had produce related deaths, just for variety.
It is completely true. Not only that, it has a ton of fun playing around with action movie cliches. All you have to do is keep in mind: Clive Owen = Bugs Bunny, Paul Giamatti = Elmer Fudd. Really.
Awesome, I am so going to watch that as soon as I can then.