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Trufax by Avereth
15 years ago
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This message brought to you by The Weighted Companion Cube
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This message brought to you by The Weighted Companion Cube
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Truefax:
Some of these might even be true; guess which ones!
-Mr. Popo is the source of every shoop that has been whooped.
-The origin of every tentacle coming in mysteriously from an unknown, out of view location is in fact from the ever unfindable Grue. Damn you Grue, damn you. Some day, I WILL find you in Zork and free the world from your tyranny!
-The San Andreas Fault was created when Chuck Norris and Mr. T decided to have an arm wrestling match. Neither could best the other, but it's said you can still feel the tremors in the ground whenever they get back together for a rematch. It's said that someday the immeasurable might of those two arms will shatter cities and pull half of California into the sea.
-If you thought Swine Flu and Avian Flu were bad, just wait until Dragon Flu comes around this year. You won't even LIVE through something that a dragon can get!
-the next island in the Hawaiian chain has already been named even though by the time it comes up out of the sea our civilization will probably have been long forgotten.
-The Jesus Liberation Front is going to save all the Jesuses still on crosses all over the world. Next time someone asks you if you've been saved by Jesus, ask them if they have saved a Jesus today.
-Dread Pirate Neckbeard does not in fact own his ship; it's his mother's ship and she lets him sleep in the brig and have other pirates over to do bad things.
-Dread Pirate neckbeard is a staunch Pastafarian and believer in the prophet Ragu, and also maintains an active branch of the Jesus Liberation Front to funnel illicit funds and materials through.
-The Westboro Baptist Church is run by Cthulu. Think about it.
-My facts bring all the boys to the yard and they're like 'his assertations are most indubitably superior to yours', so I'm like 'I'd teach you, but I'd have to CHARGE MA LAZOR BWAAAAA'
-Every time a herm grows breasts larger than the dreaded 'Double D'...
...not only does God™ kill a kitten, but a fox chokes to death on a cock, the Flying Spaghetti Monster strangles a nun with his Noodly Appendage™, Cthulu drives another person so mad they join the Westboro Baptist Church, Pedobear manifests into this plane of existence until he finds another victim to take away, Pyramid Head's knife loses its erection, another Final Fantasy©™™© comes out, Duke Nukem Forever is delayed again, a Redshirt dies, GLaDOS makes you kill another Companion Cube, and the Scientologists sacrifice another anon to Xenu.
-The secret to solving all the world's energy problems is by harnessing the electrical energy created by Crossfire by having all the children in third world sweatshops play it.
You can't live without these facts? DISCUSS!
Some of these might even be true; guess which ones!
-Mr. Popo is the source of every shoop that has been whooped.
-The origin of every tentacle coming in mysteriously from an unknown, out of view location is in fact from the ever unfindable Grue. Damn you Grue, damn you. Some day, I WILL find you in Zork and free the world from your tyranny!
-The San Andreas Fault was created when Chuck Norris and Mr. T decided to have an arm wrestling match. Neither could best the other, but it's said you can still feel the tremors in the ground whenever they get back together for a rematch. It's said that someday the immeasurable might of those two arms will shatter cities and pull half of California into the sea.
-If you thought Swine Flu and Avian Flu were bad, just wait until Dragon Flu comes around this year. You won't even LIVE through something that a dragon can get!
-the next island in the Hawaiian chain has already been named even though by the time it comes up out of the sea our civilization will probably have been long forgotten.
-The Jesus Liberation Front is going to save all the Jesuses still on crosses all over the world. Next time someone asks you if you've been saved by Jesus, ask them if they have saved a Jesus today.
-Dread Pirate Neckbeard does not in fact own his ship; it's his mother's ship and she lets him sleep in the brig and have other pirates over to do bad things.
-Dread Pirate neckbeard is a staunch Pastafarian and believer in the prophet Ragu, and also maintains an active branch of the Jesus Liberation Front to funnel illicit funds and materials through.
-The Westboro Baptist Church is run by Cthulu. Think about it.
-My facts bring all the boys to the yard and they're like 'his assertations are most indubitably superior to yours', so I'm like 'I'd teach you, but I'd have to CHARGE MA LAZOR BWAAAAA'
-Every time a herm grows breasts larger than the dreaded 'Double D'...
...not only does God™ kill a kitten, but a fox chokes to death on a cock, the Flying Spaghetti Monster strangles a nun with his Noodly Appendage™, Cthulu drives another person so mad they join the Westboro Baptist Church, Pedobear manifests into this plane of existence until he finds another victim to take away, Pyramid Head's knife loses its erection, another Final Fantasy©™™© comes out, Duke Nukem Forever is delayed again, a Redshirt dies, GLaDOS makes you kill another Companion Cube, and the Scientologists sacrifice another anon to Xenu.
-The secret to solving all the world's energy problems is by harnessing the electrical energy created by Crossfire by having all the children in third world sweatshops play it.
You can't live without these facts? DISCUSS!
Without cheating and using the internet (GNGG!) I'm guessing that the TrooFack about Hawaii is real. Do I win? :3
... obviously I'll never replace Confucius.