FA+
Shop
The Most Underappreciated Toy Line Of All Time
14 years ago
General
It is no secret that I am a Transformers fan.
But I like GoBots too. And Rock Lords. And pretty much anything else that transforms from one thing to another. Laugh if you must, but I am not one of these snobs who think anything that is not a pure G1 Hasbro/Takara Transformer is unworthy of being played with by sweaty nerdfingers. No! If it's a cool toy, i like it.
So a few weeks ago, it came as quite a shock to me to discover a completely unheard-of line of transforming robot toys! From the 80s!! You'd think I would have run the well dry on that era, yes? No!
I forget quite how now, but I became aware of MATCHBOX PARASITES! Behold their awesomeness!
Oh look! Several little cars with weapons on them. That's cute, but nothing new.
Wait! THAT was in THERE!? That gangly, completely-articulated robot with the mosquito head!? Which is four times as tall as the van it came out of!?!?
You have got to be shitting me! LOOK at this astonishing badass! It's like a deathbringing Terminator cockroach!
THAT'S JUST FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!! How in the name of physics does that bigass snake fit inside that dinky Matchbox van!?
You are not hallucinating, ladies and gentlemen. The whole idea behind the Parasites was that they are G.I.Joe-sized robots with a ton of articulation that fold up and fit inside a standard-size Matchbox car. My brain shat lightning bolts when I heard about this.
In what is clearly a case of the Resale Gods rewarding my devotion, the very day after I learned of these guys' existence, I found a carless one with an arm missing. But he was still nifty enough to convince me to get my ass to eBay.
A few weeks later, I have five of the six in existence (I have heard rumors there were some unreleased ones, but thinking about that too hard will cause my heart to break). So far I'm missing Destructite, the badass cockroach, but I will find him eventually. I am like a terrier with the scent of rat blood in his nose. (Ew.)
Here's my thoughts on each one so far:
*Terrosite This snakey guy extends to about four times the length of the van it fits in. Astonishing. Mine is missing the two little guns, but that just means he's perfectly camouflaged in van-mode.
*Specterite Sadly, the leader of the Parasites is the crappiest toy. He looks okay, but there's tons of him sticking out in Pickup-mode and some bits of his transformation don't do anything. :/
*Gammasite This was the broken one I got at the flea market. Derpy robot, but still fun.
*Destructite Ooh baby, I want you so bad...
*Extermasite This guy's articulation amazes me. He's got ankles, knees, elbows, 360 rotating shoulders, near-360 rotating hips, a neck joint AND a waist swivel. Plus when you fold him up he looks like a little tank, so he's even cool without the car!
*Nemesite He's got silly Mantis arms, but this guy's become my favorite. His transformation is the most fun and I dig his big buggy head. Plus, Corvettes rule.
Keep in mind that these toys came out in 1985. That is ONE year after Transformers. One year for Matchbox to realize the upcoming trend of transforming robots, design these, manufacture them and get 'em on shelves. They did an amazing job. There's only six of them, but each one is completely unique. A wholly different robot, vehicle, color scheme and transformation each time. Plus, it took Transformers designers literally twenty years to realize that, if you want a fully-articulated robot, make the articulation part of the transformation. The Parasites all do this. They are literally DECADES AHEAD OF THEIR TIME.
If you like to play with little things that change into other things, I can't recommend these magnificent bastards enough. Get thee to the eBays.
I am convinced that these guys are The Most Underappreciated Toy Line Of All Time. Yes, even more so than Starcom. Starcom may have some of the most brilliant engineering I've ever seen in toys, but at least I'd HEARD of them. I even owned a few as a kid. Parasites are like ghosts. The real mystery here is why such nuggets of awesomeness are so obscure.
Then again, being referred to as "Evil creatures from the tail of Halley's Comet!" can't be helpful.
But I like GoBots too. And Rock Lords. And pretty much anything else that transforms from one thing to another. Laugh if you must, but I am not one of these snobs who think anything that is not a pure G1 Hasbro/Takara Transformer is unworthy of being played with by sweaty nerdfingers. No! If it's a cool toy, i like it.
So a few weeks ago, it came as quite a shock to me to discover a completely unheard-of line of transforming robot toys! From the 80s!! You'd think I would have run the well dry on that era, yes? No!
I forget quite how now, but I became aware of MATCHBOX PARASITES! Behold their awesomeness!
Oh look! Several little cars with weapons on them. That's cute, but nothing new.
Wait! THAT was in THERE!? That gangly, completely-articulated robot with the mosquito head!? Which is four times as tall as the van it came out of!?!?
You have got to be shitting me! LOOK at this astonishing badass! It's like a deathbringing Terminator cockroach!
THAT'S JUST FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!! How in the name of physics does that bigass snake fit inside that dinky Matchbox van!?
You are not hallucinating, ladies and gentlemen. The whole idea behind the Parasites was that they are G.I.Joe-sized robots with a ton of articulation that fold up and fit inside a standard-size Matchbox car. My brain shat lightning bolts when I heard about this.
In what is clearly a case of the Resale Gods rewarding my devotion, the very day after I learned of these guys' existence, I found a carless one with an arm missing. But he was still nifty enough to convince me to get my ass to eBay.
A few weeks later, I have five of the six in existence (I have heard rumors there were some unreleased ones, but thinking about that too hard will cause my heart to break). So far I'm missing Destructite, the badass cockroach, but I will find him eventually. I am like a terrier with the scent of rat blood in his nose. (Ew.)
Here's my thoughts on each one so far:
*Terrosite This snakey guy extends to about four times the length of the van it fits in. Astonishing. Mine is missing the two little guns, but that just means he's perfectly camouflaged in van-mode.
*Specterite Sadly, the leader of the Parasites is the crappiest toy. He looks okay, but there's tons of him sticking out in Pickup-mode and some bits of his transformation don't do anything. :/
*Gammasite This was the broken one I got at the flea market. Derpy robot, but still fun.
*Destructite Ooh baby, I want you so bad...
*Extermasite This guy's articulation amazes me. He's got ankles, knees, elbows, 360 rotating shoulders, near-360 rotating hips, a neck joint AND a waist swivel. Plus when you fold him up he looks like a little tank, so he's even cool without the car!
*Nemesite He's got silly Mantis arms, but this guy's become my favorite. His transformation is the most fun and I dig his big buggy head. Plus, Corvettes rule.
Keep in mind that these toys came out in 1985. That is ONE year after Transformers. One year for Matchbox to realize the upcoming trend of transforming robots, design these, manufacture them and get 'em on shelves. They did an amazing job. There's only six of them, but each one is completely unique. A wholly different robot, vehicle, color scheme and transformation each time. Plus, it took Transformers designers literally twenty years to realize that, if you want a fully-articulated robot, make the articulation part of the transformation. The Parasites all do this. They are literally DECADES AHEAD OF THEIR TIME.
If you like to play with little things that change into other things, I can't recommend these magnificent bastards enough. Get thee to the eBays.
I am convinced that these guys are The Most Underappreciated Toy Line Of All Time. Yes, even more so than Starcom. Starcom may have some of the most brilliant engineering I've ever seen in toys, but at least I'd HEARD of them. I even owned a few as a kid. Parasites are like ghosts. The real mystery here is why such nuggets of awesomeness are so obscure.
Then again, being referred to as "Evil creatures from the tail of Halley's Comet!" can't be helpful.
LOL!
>Though I did play a lot with Lego, that's the ultimate transforming toy. :)
Actually (this should surprise no one) I used to make transformers out of my legos.
I remember that I had one of these little StarCom boxes that transform into a base.
Excellent point. 'Good' toys do seem to sell better than 'evil' ones.
>I remember that I had one of these little StarCom boxes that transform into a base.
Oo, those were rare! I have a few StarCom vehicles and litle magnet-footed dudes. I'd nominate the Starmax Bomber as one of the greatest individual toys ever made.
I don't know about you, but the all of my matchbox and micro-machine cars all ended up in my sandbox to be played with... and naturally left out there in the rain because I didn't think about it, and mud does NOT help wheels spin on tiny metal cars.
... I can only imagine what that would have done to massively tiny-detail articulated robot-cars.
In the 80's we PLAYED with our toys, we didn't leave them in the boxes to be collectors items... who knew they'd be valuable?
They did get pulled apart sometimes, though. :P
A very good point. That certainly explains why I haven't seen many at flea markets. But the real mystery to me is why it was over two decades before I'd even heard of them. I know about all sorts of other obscure toys. I own plenty of Japan or Europe exclusive toys. I really wonder why so few collectors seem to talk about these.
Unfortunately, I'm trying to get me a Skystalker and Mindwipe, so I won't be able to get those right now ;_;
Anyway, great to know those 2 are good. I'm about to lay down $30-40+ for them >.>
Hmm. INTERNET! AWAY!!!~
Before transformers"
Actually, Transformers still have Parasites beat by a wide margin. Most of the ones exported here were around since about 1981 in Japan.
NEEEEEERRRRDDDDDDDD
*goes back to playing iwth his trukk and MUNKKY*
Para 4 How did a dull grey van turn into a neon green snake thing? That's the power of the 1980's!
This kicks Michael Bay's spikey bots out of the water. It's more imaginative, it's better looking, and it looks like something you'd see at a 'Bigfoot monster trucks and trick funny cars motor show.'
Beterrn this and 'toys that makes sparks' this is shockingly doing a jobbo of making 2011 look bad. The Tron figures is what level we should be at. The rug has been yoinked.
Good point. they do kinda oddly remind me of Carzilla.
>Beterrn this and 'toys that makes sparks' this is shockingly doing a jobbo of making 2011 look bad.
Oh, I dunno. When Takara's not being forced to adhere to the movie asthetic, they do some truly great stuff. I'm still getting my rocks off over this guy.
Han solo lost an arm at some point - then my dog chewed up Chewbacca (the irony of that) - so a good Chewie arm became Hans left arm...